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you know when all you lovely people give advice...
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postingalwaysposting wrote: »i ahve a question for you all though, mum wants to borrow £50 for the holiday (as sepending and such) should i give it to here, i will get it back the thursday after (once she is payed) i have told her i have to look at my finances and get back to her prob sat/sun, but really i wanted to ask all of you your opinions... what should i do?
have a nice evening
NOOOOOOOO don't do it!!!!
She needs to learn to stand on her own 2 feet - and the sooner the better for both of you.
If she complains of being skint while you are away, why don't you just say "yeah, i am a bit hard up too - why don't we just get a cheap bottle of wine and chill out on the balcony tonight instead of going out". Bonus of saving you money too0 -
postingalwaysposting wrote: »hi RAS ~ thanks for that info i will definatly look into that, having a bad time at work lately... yep i would love to work with eldrly people, thats my dream, i just think the older generation are so understanding/caring and loveing and i want to help in there latter life. ros i want gcse maths becasue i was awarded d in gcse when i first took them, i have 8 others:
Humanities - A
Resistant Materials (Half Course) - A
Office Applications - B
English Language - C
English Literature - C
Double Award Science - CC
Food Technology (Half Course) - C
Maths - D
French - D
Your GCSE grades are goodWith a bit of added self-confidence there is nothing you can't do - just believe in yourself!
The live-in scheme looks good - why don't you apply? Or have a look around local nursing homes? - even if they don't have vacancies right now they are usually happy to accept volunteers to just sit and chat with the oldies, or read them a book etc. The nursing home my nanna was in was always grateful to anyone who could spare some time. Its a great thing t put on your CV too. Once you have your 'foot in the door' you would be a prime candidate when a paid vacancy comes up. What do you think?
I don't want to be over-bearing, but i am pretty good at CVs and job applications. If you ever need any help with writing stuff, just drop me a PM - i would be happy to give you a hand with that sort of thing
You have lots of friends on here and we are all wishing you the very best of luck - we are happy for you when things go well :beer:0 -
Pap, I'm going to add a third Noooooooooooooooooo to the pile. Please don't lend your mum any money. You are just starting to do well and suddenly she finds a vulnerable area to exploit. :mad: I'm not sure of the exact details but haven't you paid for this holiday? She should be the one providing the spending money. Don't give her anything; she is an adult. I suspect you will be treating her and paying for her all the time while you are away anyway. You dont have to be nasty, just say sorry mum, just can't afford it; I've just paid £400 off the credit card bill and I'm not going to get into debt again for anything. Pap, you should be the one profitting from your hard work, your saving and your careful budgetting, not your mum. She will keep on trying it on, asking to lend money until she realises that you are a no go area.
You have asked us this question whilst knowing I think what the answer will be and that to me shows that you just want confirmation that its ok to say no and it is. You do not want to lend her the money. You are never going to lend her money again. Remember she is working and earns more than you and can afford £50 out of her budget for a holiday that she has not paid for.
Remember, if you lend her £50, you will be £50 further away from your flat because this is money that could more usefully be put into your moving out fund. There is no guarantee you will get it back if you lend it to her. Please keep in mind how angry and resentful you felt just a couple of days ago.
By the way, your GCSE grades are good, you brainbox. You can get the maths GCSE; just buy some revision guides from Smiths. They are very good and you can work your way through the problems.The forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best0 -
You have asked us this question whilst knowing I think what the answer will be and that to me shows that you just want confirmation that its ok to say no and it is. You do not want to lend her the money. You are never going to lend her money again. Remember she is working and earns more than you and can afford £50 out of her budget for a holiday that she has not paid for.
Remember, if you lend her £50, you will be £50 further away from your flat because this is money that could more usefully be put into your moving out fund. There is no guarantee you will get it back if you lend it to her. Please keep in mind how angry and resentful you felt just a couple of days ago.
By the way, your GCSE grades are good, you brainbox. You can get the maths GCSE; just buy some revision guides from Smiths. They are very good and you can work your way through the problems.
Just could NOT agree more with this tesas ever your words are wise.
Say no to your mum. If you have aid no, as you have and its worked, if you say yes now it will undo all the effort you have put in to create those boundaries. if you give her the money, then she where does it end- you are back to square one. You need to send a CLEAR signal to your mum that the tide has turned, you wont b e her cash cow while she is earning more than you and you cant afford to do the thing YOU want to do be is college, buying stuff moving out/ driving lessons.
You have my permission to put yourself first
Say no, and remind your mum she should be bloody grateful you have bankrolled her for so long and your holiday is the LAST of it. Tes is right 50.00 is alot of money and it could be your credit check for your new tenancy/all your kitchen stuff/ nice things for your new place. put yourslef first sugart xxxx:beer: Well aint funny how its the little things in life that mean the most? Not where you live, the car you drive or the price tag on your clothes.
Theres no dollar sign on piece of mind
This Ive come to know...
So if you agree have a drink with me, raise your glasses for a toast :beer:0 -
Hi Lynz
As always your advice is excellent too. Hope Pap reads this advice before it is too late and she has given her mum the money. At the risk of hijacking the thread, I hope you're getting on alright. Think I will send you a pmThe forest would be very silent if no birds sang except for the birds that sang the best0 -
postingalwaysposting wrote: »hi
Humanities - A
Resistant Materials (Half Course) - A
Office Applications - B
English Language - C
English Literature - C
Double Award Science - CC
Food Technology (Half Course) - C
Maths - D
French - D
Posting
JusT a few minutes now. Love - these results are bl**dy brlliant. You say you live on one of the estates out of bristol and you have got GCSE results like this? Puts you in the top 20-25% of school leavers in your area. If you came from a different family, you would have several good A levels.
Ok, we need to look at the Maths/numeracy, but do you realise that quite a lot of universities would accept you to study a nursing course just on the basis of your existing qualifications, if you wanted to do that? The rules are must be literate and numerate, so Maths needs looking at but not all of them require GCSE. They test it in-house.
Will mail the funding link next week (no fees and you get a bursary).
Have a great weekend. Sorry about work.
RIf you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing0 -
By the way. No to the £50.
She had to learn, sooner rather than later. It is not you being mean, it is you being really responsible and helping her to learn new ways of coping.If you've have not made a mistake, you've made nothing0 -
PAP,
my current b/f has no qualifications but is doing an access course - and HNC fulltime - with student loan etc - that gives him direct entry to 2nd year. Don't assume lack of certain certificates means no study!
There are LOADS of ways in. Best thing is to go talk to an adviser at your local college or uni. Give them a ring and ask about open evenings etc. You could probably also work p/t to keep yourself going.
I really hopeyou do it, and live in a student residence for a change of scene. It can still be close to go visit - but good for a break for you!
Go on..do it!! You only ever regret the things in life you DON'T do!
And re the cash: buy her a couple of treats if you like but DON'T hand over notes - it gives the wrong idea!Debt free 4th April 2007.
New house. Bigger mortgage. MFWB after I have my buffer cash in place.0 -
Debt free 4th April 2007.
New house. Bigger mortgage. MFWB after I have my buffer cash in place.0 -
Don;t make me wedgie you, PAP. So you had a bit of a splurge. Put it this way, the old, pre-MSE you would have carried on. £400?? Pah!! Why not carry on until the card machine makes that distressing beeping noise in front of a queue of shoppers.
But no. The shiny new PAP realised what was happening, and stopped it in time. Plus you cut up your card That's a great step, and we're all proud of you. So treat it as you putting your toe back in the world of imulse buying, and realising it's not for you. You have a nice cup of tea, and feel better hun, you deserve it.
Edit to say Whoops! Only read the first page,not realising it was a bit bigger. So hope you are feeling better. And don;t lend your mum the money, it's not fair if she's chipping into your holiday fund.This year I'm getting organised once and for all, and going to buy a house with my wonderful other half. And that' s final!
Current Pay Off Target : £1500 :mad:0
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