Son removes his pyjamas and nappy in bed

merlot123

Pink, you are doing a great job.

When my son was 3, he would happily wee in the potty, and then eventually the toilet, but would hold on all day until I put a nappy on in the evening and then he would soil it immediately, he had a real fear of doing a poo in the toliet.

At the age of 3.5 I gave up putting nappies on in the evening, and had a few soiled pants, but then one day he shouted me and told me he done poops in toilet. It will happen for your son too.

The social workers have the best interest at heart for your son, but it doesn't mean they are always right, you are a Mother now and follows your instincts.

He is very fortunate to have found you.

merlot123

pinkladyof66

Thank you all for your lovely comments we feel privileged to be his parents as we have waited so long for a much wanted child, and we are so happy at last after a long long wait. We are not young parents so it is all new to us. No no 2 as of today, i expect he will do one almighty one in bed this evening so me and hubbie are on what we call POO WATCH !!!!

MatyMoo

I have been following this thread but haven't posted before. I think you are doing a great job under difficult circumstances and would echo to follow your instincts.

I am in my 50's and the youngest of 7 :eek: My Mum used to put all of us on a potty for a few minutes every time she changed our nappy from a very young age just to get us used to the idea. (When we were very tiny she would put the potty on her lap & then us on the potty leaning against her.) Sometimes we would do something, sometimes we wouldn't.

Even if your little one doesn't do anything he is getting used to it, if he actually does anything it is a bonus that deserves lots of praise

JC9297

Just one thing I picked up on, you say he often poos in his nappy at bedtime, presumably even if you are preventing him from taking his own nappy off you are going and checking he hasn't got a pooey nappy, as he will get really sore if left all night.

pinkladyof66

yes we check vigoursly all night last night nothing - but this morning an almighty explosion but he kep the nappy and suit on

carefullycautious

It sounds as if he had a poor diet previously and his stomach is now getting used to your regular good diet.

I wont go into detail but I know someone who took on their grandchild who had had a poor diet and had terrible diarrhoea(SP) which took some time to clear up.

You will get there

daska

OP, this is all obviously quite new to you, presumably you have been told about your child's medical history and what professionals have been involved with him? Are you able to access those professionals for advice - in my personal experience social workers can vary enormously in their knowledge, understanding and level of help LOL. You mentioned that you have a DLA application in and I'm guess you might get an adoption allowance? Given that you're going from a standing start, if you can afford it, are you aware of BrainWave? It's not free, but the service this charity offers a joined up service and is exceedingly good value for money e.g. the initial assessment is 2 professionals (their disciplines will vary depending on your child's needs) for 2 days is around £500 which, to put it in perspective, is the price I had to pay for ONE 2 hour Occupational Therapy assessment to get the evidence I needed for DS2 to have his problems taken seriously rather than be dismissed as a 'naughty' child. To clarify: I've not used Brainwave myself, it was a social worker who told me about them.

pinkclouds

Nicki wrote: »

Do you think perhaps he doesn't like the sensation of lying in a dirty nappy, so would rather take it off and poo in the bed, rather than in a nappy

keelykat wrote: »

i would try to sit him on the potty before bed and maybe in the middle of the night lift him up and try putting him on again.

pinkladyof66 wrote: »

We are still not trying the potty training yet on advice from our SW child SW and generally he doesnt seem really ready for it emotionally.

I appreciate that your child is developmentally younger than his age but toilet training doesn't start from the point they can talk about the potty and go by themselves. I sat both of my kids on the potty/toilet from when they were babies - to try and "catch" some of the wees/poos. Put the child on potty/toilet (hold/"cuddle" them if they need physical support) and encourage them to "go". I second keelykat's suggestion and recommend doing this immediately before bedtime and maybe once during the night if he tends to have a very full bladder. If nothing comes out, no big deal - try again in half an hour or leave it till next time.

Also, I think Nicki has a point re not wanting to keep the nappy on. From an early age (basically, once they got past the meconium poo stage of babyhood) neither of mine would sleep at night if they had a poo to do. They would either force themselves to stay awake until it was out or they would wake up to do it and I'd change them before they went back to sleep. (I co-sleep when they are tinies so they always knew that I'd know if they were awake. Now my elder kid is a "big" kid sleeping on her own, she just yells if she needs me!) Do you think your little one is the same? I don't know why they didn't care about it during the day but poos in the nappy at night-time were a big no-no for mine. Must feel different when they are asleep... lol

Btw, I think you are doing a fab job - especially with all the laundry on top. It's tough being a mom but it is so wonderful. x

daska

I think it's worth pointing out that this family is only 8 weeks old and christmas is approaching fast - it's not good timing for anybody to be starting potty training!

OP - in the grand scheme of things it's probably more important to be concentrating on getting to know each other and settled into routines and any treatment patterns that your son needs to address the GDD etc, the summer seems quite soon enough.

pinkclouds

daska wrote: »

I think it's worth pointing out that this family is only 8 weeks old and christmas is approaching fast - it's not good timing for anybody to be starting potty training!

I don't mean "potty training" as in reward charts and big boy pants, etc.

I mean aiming to catch some wees to keep the nappy dry for longer. (Or, in this case, keep the bedding dry in-between checking the nappy is still on and putting the nappy back on!) People do this with 8 week old babies so I don't see a problem doing the same with a 8 week "new" toddler. You can do this from birth, just by holding the baby over the potty/toilet/bowl. I know people who do. (I was never that determined - I was always just pleased to catch the occasional wee and save the odd nappy.) I don't want to suggest stressing the poor bairn. But sitting on a toilet is not much different to sitting on a chair, if the child is tall enough to rest feet on a step (or mommy's knees or whatever). Or sitting on a potty, for a minute or less, with mommy cuddling you while you sit there. And if you catch a wee, that's great. Less to go in the nappy and thus less mess/leaks.

Remember, if it weren't for modern disposables... we'd all (with babies/toddlers) be trying to catch wees on the hour every hour and washing gazillions of white muslin squares every other day! But a little of the past mixed in with the modern can be the best of both.