Neighbour finds our christmas lights "annoying"...

seriousDFW

Marisco wrote: »

FGS, people like having lights up, it makes things cheerful. Bump's lights are hardly OTT are they? Kids love those sorts of things, should no one bother because a few miserable sods don't like it? By the looks of it, things are going to be pretty grim next year, let's all make the most of it now, before the gloom and doom comes along!!

If you read my posts carefully, I have been careful to draw a distinction between this particular case and the general attitude of "do what you like". I don't think OP's are necessarily over the top, but I take exception to the philosophy that we should all just do what we like, even when we know it could be detrimental to other people.

I also think that this particular issue is a trade off. For all the enjoyment it gives some people, it can have the opposite effect for others. That's a fact, and it's churlish to say that the people who don't like them are miserable sods.

make_me_wise

seriousDFW wrote: »

I think it's a sad state of affairs when your enjoyment of Christmas comes down to having lights and characters on your house.

**Sigh**

That is some imagination you have got. No-where in my post did it suggest that my enjoyment of xmas comes down to having lights and characters on my house. A bit of festive decoration inside and out is lovely though and adds some fun. A concept that seems to go way over your head, serious.

OP you carry on and enjoy xmas on your terms, hope it will be really great for you and your family.

seriousDFW

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

Hadn't thought of that tbh.I know she lost her husband a good few years ago but has lots of family surrounding her.she keeps her big bright red tree up well into Jan and holds a big party mid jan for her family.She doesn't come across as bah humbug at all usually so maybe she was just having an off day.With me being so pregnant I've also considered maybe I was being over sensitive but pretty certain I'm not.Then after hearing her have a go about noisy wheelie bins I know she's definately in a moany mood.Maybe I'll get the kids to draw her a christmas pic or make her a card and pop it in..try to cheer her up.

This is a lovely idea.

Just want to reiterate that I'm not criticising your actions in any of my posts - you seem entirely reasonable!

I just think that from the information we have we don't know enough about the impact of the lights on the neighbour and so it's difficult to come to a reasoned conclusion.

It may be she's just being a whinger, but it may be that they are causing her genuine anxiety. It is obviously up to you to decide which it is and deal with it accordingly.

I think the general discussion about Christmas lights on houses is a separate issue that will always have people debating so I hope no-one takes offence to either viewpoint.

Bumpmakesfour

seriousDFW wrote: »

We used to have neighbours who thought like this. They used to leave rubbish in the street and disturb everyone with loud music and shouting arguments. They probably thought "I'll do what I like and sod everyone else's opinions".

Which is not disimilar to how the neighbour complaining behaves..with total disregard for others.Unfortunately as we've been too "nice" and tolerated it I'm now in a position where I can't bring that up without sounding like I'm playing some pathetic game of tit for tat;)

seriousDFW

make_me_wise wrote: »

**Sigh**

That is some imagination you have got. No-where in my post did it suggest that my enjoyment of xmas comes down to having lights and characters on my house. A bit of festive decoration inside and out is lovely though and adds some fun. A concept that seems to go way over your head, serious.

OP you carry on and enjoy xmas on your terms, hope it will be really great for you and your family.

Yes, for SOME people it is fun, but people who don't find it "fun" are also forced to experience it.

I'm not saying no-one should do it, but I hate the fact I am seen as miserable because I don't enjoy garish lights. I LOVE subtle lights and I love Christmas and have lots of fun. I just wish people would consider others a bit more. None of the concepts brought forth in this thread have gone over my head!

seriousDFW

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

Which is not disimilar to how the neighbour complaining behaves..with total disregard for others.Unfortunately as we've been too "nice" and tolerated it I'm now in a position where I can't bring that up without sounding like I'm playing some pathetic game of tit for tat;)

I can understand this, I really can. My arguments are more general.

NickyBat

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

Oh !!!!!!.I've explained myself enough.We do have two other non ASD kids who like lights...we are COMPROMISING!
We bloody spoke to DS and agreed the time that they go on and the time they go off.He is happy and sets his phone alarm,it's his "job" to turn on and off.If we'd have thought harder we could have said 9pm but we didn't,we said 10..ok.I never ever used DS' aspergers as an excuse,it was part of my explanation why we started "early"..along with me being very pregnant and I brought up his sleeping only when it was assumed my children were all in bed asleep by 10pm.
I'm not bloody answering anymore questions about it regarding my sons condition..I'm getting hacked off.
The lights are up,on the lowest settings,on the property we own and pay for.We've now moved the character lights about 2 feet downwards so they fall in line with our front wall so minimised the glare as much as possible.I've actually gone from feeling reasonable to being angry and quite frankly now I don't care..our lights are staying up as they are.I've sat here today and watched houses on the street PLASTER every inch of their houses in lights and leave them on the fastest flashing settings without giving it a thought so why am I even worrying?
I've been told on here I'm tacky,odd,hypocritical and using my sons condition as a red herring or whatever..over a few poxy lights that we can now see on a ton of houses near us.Are they worrying?Probably not.
ARRRGHHHH :mad:

Why are you bothering to explain yourself to ANYONE, it's your house,your lights and you are paying the bill, do what YOU want.....and enjoy it........and good luck with the new one, i'm sure when he / she comes along you won't even think about lights or neighbours.
Merry Christmas :beer:

dom300186

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

Of course the enjoyment of the festive season doesn't centre solely around lights on your house but for a lot of people it plays a part in it.

It certainly does me and i know it does alot of people, if its so drastic im sure the council or the police would be knocking on your door or even other neighbours.

its not like your replicating deck the halls (xmas movie about a neighbour who wants his xmas lights to be seen from space and he annoys his neighbour).

I am not a person who litters and leaves a mess so don't assume anybody who thinks sod em about a few xmas lights and decs are like this........very narrow minded indeed;), im off before i have an argument with that troll on the thread who seems to have an answer for everything.

:T

Oldernotwiser

dom300186 wrote: »

i say you do what you like and sod everyone elses opinions .

Which sums up so much that's wrong with this country at the moment!

Jojo_the_Tightfisted

Padstow wrote: »

Must be very affluent then. I see decking the lights as very down market, as in the hot dog stand and car breaker houses, that's where they are seen here.

I live in a hamlet of 25 houses, and not one has a light on. We are all respectfull of the night sky, being in an area without lights.

Seeing as you are in an extreme minority, as the rest of us never have that chance with street lighting and commerical buildings making the decision for us that we aren't allowed to see the stars, I think someone choosing to add blue, red or white to the usual yellow the whole of the suburbs is usually bathed in, is making no difference whatsoever to the sky.