Help To Reolve Issue With My Ex

Lyrrad

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Could you not support her on this? Ok she went about it the wrong way but if she felt that was the only way to resolve it, then does she need your support?

I fully understand your sentiment. She wants me to butt out completely. All she wants in my money


EDIT: She says that she had the burden of this all on her own and that only she had to deal with the situation. I can't support something I don't believe in. Whilst she may have gone about it the wrong way it still does not change the fact that I believer we owe the money

Lyrrad

Emmzi wrote: »

you don't want a CCJ so go and pay the school now, and deny her the day in court, which will irritate her cos she sounds a bit mad, but there you go. You already know she is in breach of contract.

re: maintenance, was that set up by court order or similar?

Maintenance just a verbal agreement by the 2 of us.

Sambucus_Nigra

Lyrrad wrote: »

I fully understand your sentiment. She wants me to butt out completely. All she wants in my money


EDIT: She says that she had the burden of this all on her own and that only she had to deal with the situation. I can't support something I don't believe in. Whilst she may have gone about it the wrong way it still does not change the fact that I believer we owe the money

Hi.

I'm not taking sides, just maybe pointing out the other one - but do you believe in the safety and welfare of your son? As that's what is fundamentally at stake here.

ETA: would you supporting here 100% take the wind out of her sails and perhaps lighten her approach to access?

CH27

Is access just by verbal agreement too?

princeofpounds

Tough situation.

I don't think you have to worry too much about going to court. If a CCJ is made you have ten days to pay before it goes on your credit record I understand. Given the amount, I would think this is a small claims case which would not allow the school to add on legal costs, although there will be court charges added on most likely.

If you did decide to let it go to court, I would make it very clear that any additional costs that transpire would come out of maintenance, if you can.

But if you are sure she does not have a case (and I don't know your certainty) then I would pursue a settlement anyway. If she tells you that you were stupid to seek a settlement then you should tell her that she should stop thinking only of herself and start thinking the risk that she was putting you under at no cost to herself. That is an entirely separate matter to your differences of opinion on the legal case.

princessdreamer

So she took the child out of the school because of suspected abuse and emotional distress which the school refused to deal with. To be fair I can see her point about wanting her day in court, why would she pay when they failed in their duty of care.

Lyrrad

Sambucus_Nigra wrote: »

Hi.

I'm not taking sides, just maybe pointing out the other one - but do you believe in the safety and welfare of your son? As that's what is fundamentally at stake here.

ETA: would you supporting here 100% take the wind out of her sails and perhaps lighten her approach to access?

Oh yes very much so. When he is with me is a good boy (3 weekends out of 4), when he is with his mother and at school he is poorly behaved. Nearly every day I receive a phone call from the mum asking me to assist her in getting our son ready for school. She has a difficult time with him

Paramount to all of this is my sons welfare. Its a difficult one, and its nice to share it with strangers.

richardw

princeofpounds wrote: »

Given the amount, I would think this is a small claims case which would not allow the school to add on legal costs, although there will be court charges added on most likely.

Don't forget CPR 27.14(2)(g) http://www.justice.gov.uk/guidance/courts-and-tribunals/courts/procedure-rules/civil/contents/parts/part27.htm#id6510881

As parents, you need to sort this out with the school before going to court.
A CCJ against either of you could be detrimental to your child and you should take steps to avoid this. It simply isn't worth risking it.

Lyrrad

princessdreamer wrote: »

So she took the child out of the school because of suspected abuse and emotional distress which the school refused to deal with. To be fair I can see her point about wanting her day in court, why would she pay when they failed in their duty of care.

The school were dealing with the situation, but have admitted the were struggling to find a solution.

Lyrrad

princeofpounds wrote: »

Tough situation.

If she tells you that you were stupid to seek a settlement then you should tell her that she should stop thinking only of herself and start thinking the risk that she was putting you under at no cost to herself. That is an entirely separate matter to your differences of opinion on the legal case.

I want to see my son, and that would be red rag to a bull