MG - The Matrix Re-wired

Marru

Here you are MG

Having a break from blizing. I have asked BF to give me a warning when they are on they way back so that I can hide the bin bags :rotfl:

Memory_Girl

Horace wrote: »

Today, I went to see soon to be ex OH and anyone would think I had asked him to rob the crown jewels when I asked him for a financial settlement too. He agrees in principle to £15K however it will be inconvenient

"Them's the breaks"because he wants to fit new windows on the house (he hasn't bothered with them for 25 years so what difference is an extra year going to make?):mad: He then suggested that I accept £10K and that he pays for the divorce because I cannot afford it.


As you are on benefits its not going to cost you anyway - thats why Legal Aid is there. I is certainly NOT going to cost £5K If he was sensible about the financial settlement you could make it much cheaper for him.
He will only pay the settlement if I get a full time job and come off housing benefit - 'I don't want to be catty' he said!

Scuse me - but what bleeding difference does it make to him - and after all these years what right does he have to butt in anyways

He doesnt want it to be a formal arrangement either

Alarm bells ringing for anyone else??

- neither of us are using solicitors (I might ring the court and find out about legal aid so that I can divorce him).

Make a 30 minute freebie with a local solictor and make sure yu are aware of your rights

I have had a stressy time since Christmas so have put him on the back burner so to speak. He let me take some SO he is still holding some of YOUR possession's hostage - do you get how controlling that comes across?? of my jewellery but all my knicknacks, I was also allowed?????? to have the church ornament that mum bought me from a cheap shop one year - it looks fab with a tealight in it at Christmas. He did give me a radiant heater too because he hated the thought of my feet being cold (fab, I can sell it:rotfl:).

Please, please go get some legal advice, but what he wants is neither here nor there. This financial settlement needs to be agreed and adhered to, no side deals, no private arrangements, grown-up, legal and safe for both sides.

Protect yourself so that this doesn't come back and bite you on the bum.

Off my soapbox now - have a ((hug))

MG

tellmeitsfriday

You beat me to it MG - Horace that's pretty much exactly what I would have said if MG hadn't have got there first.

Don't settle for a penny less than what you deserve - and make sure you get your things back too...

See a solicitor, and speak to your parents, they seem very sensible.

Don't let the fog of depression cloud your sensible mind xxx

greenbee

One load of laundry done, windows opened to air the house, omelette for breakfast (with spinach, peppers and spring onion) and then the insides of the wardrobe have been put together. I can now move my work clothes over and am ready for the doors to go on. Three mile walk with a friend and a visit to the farm shop for £10 of veg this morning. Leftover cauliflower cheese for lunch. Now I need to gather up stuff for the tip and charity shop and head into town to pick something up, and hopefully get back in time to wander into the village for a coffee.

Shredding is on my list too... I need more shredded paper to light the fire with!

I have a long list to do, but I prioritising my social life and will be out tomorrow too, although I will be having a quiet night in tonight.

hex2

Horace, a solicitor will charge c£800 for an uncontested divorce. A d-i-y form via the internet was about £200 from memory. The starting position is usually 50/50 of the assets (which includes pension funds) and this percentage moves based on the needs of any children or if one partner is unable to work - 70/30 for a clean break with small children involved for example. Get the Which Guide to Divorce out of the library, and go and see a legal aid based solicitor asap. I have a vague feeling that under legal aid now you have to go to mediation, and they will tell both of you what is a reasonable settlement which might just make him think twice about the wool that he is trying to pull over your eyes.

Also if it isn't a formal arrangement and you win the lottery then he can claim against you. If he gets ill and can't work again then he can claim on you. Need I go on?

If it was me I would go and see someone legal, file for divorce using his controlling behaviour as the grounds, and ask for costs to be awarded against him, and enter a claim for finanical support from him.

Horace

On Monday I shall speak to the court myself. I won't have the wool pulled over my eyes. I know what the house is worth once done up. He still has the furniture because I haven't been able to get it out yet - again this is where the lack of funds is maddening. I figure he gets around £375 a month in rent from his property and he has at least 3 whole motorbikes. a kit car worth about £3K and assorted motorbikes in parts that can easily be sold - they are just sitting there doing naff all!

Oh yes, he was very controlling - hated me having a thought of my own. I know that I am entitled to half of everything so he is getting off lightly. Thank goodness I always kept my finances separate to his.

We want this to be as amicable as possible yet I am not going to be played for an idiot either - I guess he is thinking that as I left him that I have no rights.

I have sought advice from a solicitor - her fee to manage the divorce would be £3K:eek: Not even mates' rates:( Still, it can be done legally and fairly via the court anyway, It isnt as though I am going to bleed him dry.:mad:

Too much stress going on at the mo too with my dad being gravely ill and my mum also being ill. Still, I am not a doormat.

Igamogam

Dorastar wrote: »

Ofsted are staying with us next week - all positive vibes gratefully received - see you all next Thursday :eek:

Thinking of you

Igamogam

So 8 pints of curry sauce simmering on Aga and 2 'lamb doner' loves cooking in oven - takeaway secret Thrown on 2 logs as oven temp dropping and its pouring with rain - have to go outside to get coal as last night forgot with a houseful of teen agers! Munching a frog alast week was financially productive - cheque for £54 arrived this morning - pay out from health thing I pay into through work - this for eye test. Have also submitted claim for both me and OH for osteopath appts. Off to update diary

Lara44

Agree with all the advice you have been given Horace.

It sounds to me as if you are entitled to a lot more than £15,000. You have a stake in this money that was accumulated together - perhaps you shouldn't pre-judge what figure, but instead appoint a solicitor? If you can get legal aid that would be great, or perhaps your parents would give you a loan that could then be paid back once the settlement comes through? If your ex was controlling then it might be better to get the solicitor to negotiate for you, as it might be difficult to negotiate yourself for a whole host of emotional reasons.

Things must be really daunting right now, huge ((((((HUGS)))))). I am so sorry your Dad is not well. You're under a lot of strain, get some good people working on your behalf. You deserve help and support. Thinking of you.

greenbee

Good luck Horace. Lots of good advice there (and do get the book Hex suggested... OH found it helpful as have several of my friend's.

Charity shop drop done, and a jacket for my work suit picked up for half price which will come in handy. Having a brief rest, then need to get on with some of the stuff on my list.