Sexting:(

make_me_wise

Bumpmakesfour wrote: »

This is the bit that stands out to me and I find it quite depressing tbh
Hope you find the strength to get rid of this man OP before he destroys every ounce of self esteem you have.You say it would break your heart to leave him but let's be honest here,it's doing exactly that being WITH him xxx

Hate to say it but to late already. If this lovely young woman had any self esteem left, she could not stay with a person (cannot call him a man) who hurts her so badly, physically and mentally.

Lets get real here, unless you wise up fast OP and realise what a dangerous situation you are in, there is only one way you will be leaving this guy.

truly1

doodoot wrote: »

OP, you say that breaking up with him will break your heart?

What will break your heart is that this relationship hasn't turned out the way you wanted it to...your fantasy hasn't materialised.

Once you kick this c0ck into touch leave it for a couple of weeks, come back to this thread and read your last comment and wonder how the hell you could write such rubbish.

No, its only staying with this sad, lacking, pitiful, abusive wee boy thus she will maintain the deep unhappiness that she, apparently, has come to expect.

Don't kid your self, lady, that you are asking help on what you should do to make this relationahip better - it . will . never . be . any . better.

It is only you that can give yourself a better life; this guy can only live on with his abusive and unhappy existence.

Lucretzia

OP he will do this over and over again, there will be other women he is sexting at the moment, probably at least 3 to cover when one is at work, out etc. He will not change because he has no reason to has he, you will let him do whatever he wants in the hope he will suddenly become the kind, loving, faithful man you thought he was when you first knew him. He isn't that and never will be.

And yes it will break your heart, and you will cry for maybe a year every night before you sleep and every morning when you wake , until gradually the pain eases and you stop making excuses for the way he has treated you and decide that even if you have to spend the rest of your life alone it will still be better than the sheer misery of being with him when he doesn't care.

stu20vt

justmel wrote: »

It's because she is a minor,same applies to boys under 18 too,it's illegal to exchange,view or posess sexually explicit photo's of a minor..that is if she is under 18 which isn't known for sure.

I admit i only know that because i saw it on 'The sex education show' where they were educating kids about sexting and cyber sex but it makes sense really,all models used for proffesional erotic modelling must be 18 or over.

Anyway that is just a part of the problem,OP you have many,many reasons to leave this man and not a single one to stay,youmust reclaim your life x

Is it illegal? He could lawfully marry a 17 year old and have lawful sex with her so I'm not sure how the police would deal with this. If under 16 then yes he should be reported. Anyhow you really need to get away from him as soon as possible for your own safety.

justmel

stu20vt wrote: »

Is it illegal? He could lawfully marry a 17 year old and have lawful sex with her so I'm not sure how the police would deal with this. If under 16 then yes he should be reported. Anyhow you really need to get away from him as soon as possible for your own safety.

Yes it is illegal to posess,share and exchange sexual images if one or more parties is under 18,i know it sounds strange because you can marry at 16 and the age of consent is 16 but that is how the law stands on the sexual images.

As i said before it does make sense when you think about it,adult websites and magazines etc are not allowed to use models under 18 even though if you met a 16 or 17 year old you could legally have sex with her.

The police would deal with it as a sexual offence if someone was caught in posession of images like that.

I agree it is not the only issue here though,OP i hope sooner than later you find the strength to leave,this has no happy ending and nothing is going to change.

Edit:Here is a link to an article about sexting,apologies as it is quite long and has links in it to other articles,BBC,Guardian etc but it does address the legal stand on it when you scroll down.

http://www.kidsandmedia.co.uk/article/373

And there it states:
Explain the legal implications of sexting. It is illegal to take, distribute and keep indecent images of anyone under the age of 18.
This part is primarily aimed at parents of teenagers but it is the law,i followed the link to the guardian article on there too and it says the same thing.

Now of course this girl may be 18 or over,the OP thinks she is younger and if she is 18 no laws are being broken so i'm not outright accusing the guy of anything but even if the girl is 'legal' it's certainly not something i could personally tolerate and that is without the violence,putting them both together and trying to live like that is far worse than the heartbreak of splitting up imo,it's still heartbreak with every slap,every time she knows he has been betraying her but she doesn't leave so that heartbreak never ends,OP if you left that heartbreak would end and maybe once you started a life that wasn't one in fear it would be a lot easier to get over him than you think..ok i must try to sleep now,please OP don't dismiss what others are saying here,no one is putting him down for the sake of it,they are merely stating what you either cannot see or choose to ignore because you believe one day it can be different,it wont be x

DVardysShadow

hazeyjewel wrote: »

Thanks for all your replies.I've had a good think this week, and tried to talk to him about it all.He says he gets why i'm upset and gutted about the sexting, but says he only loves me and was doing it for a laugh :mad::mad:
I asked him how he's feel if it was the other way round, and he said he's be gutted too:(:(
I've not been able to eat or sleep this week, but don't want to split up, and neither does he:(:(
I understand why I should finish with him, but it would break my heart:(:o

I don't think you have thought hard enough or deep enough.

This has moved on to the point that you are the biggest part of your own problem. It is totally outside of your power to bring about the changes in his life which would be needed for your happiness and security.

The more time and effort you spend on him, the more you are entrenching him in his present behaviours and attitudes. There is nothing you can do to help him or improve him apart from leave him and let fate sort him out.

The only good you are doing is keeping him away from other women. But the price for that is not one you should pay.

J_Devon

The second he laid a finger on you was the second you should have showed him the door. Simple as that...

purple.sarah

meritaten wrote: »

does it matter whether the other party is 17 or 70?
YOU have to decide whether you want to be with this guy. I would say you dont - but you dont know how to leave!
It isnt simple is it? - contact womens aid hun. work out your plan, and take it one step at a time. because this IS abuse, your head says it is! that is why you posted..........now listen to your head and DO what you need to do.

Yes it matters because it is illegal if she is under 18 and if she is younger she is more likely to be susceptible to his manipulation. It seems like he is looking for his next victim.

purple.sarah

I know it is so difficult to walk away but he has betrayed you in so many ways and he is not even taking it seriously, it's "a laugh" to him. Think about what is best for you because he is not. Please protect yourself.