Problems with partner's daughter!

doodoot

If she's 4 then she will be picking up every cough/cold bug known to man - my eldest wasn't 'healthy' until he reached 6 or 7!

But I would still be asking your fella why he isn't going to his daughter's GP for a chat, like I said he's well within his rights to do so...he doesn't need her mother's permission.

And yes princess we are all stereotyped from an early age, but it takes a sensitive person to know when to point out to someone that they've succumbed to gender stereotypes and hegemonic subjugation without knowing it.

(I've studied psychoanalysis too).

saroec

barbiedoll - thank you, yes you make some incredibly valid points, of which there will be discussions about tonight!

Thanks to everyone who has given me advice, hopefully it can be implemented and go a long way to helping a lovely little girl stay healthy and happy.

x

claire16c

OP - food wise - what do you and your partner eat? Aslong as you arent eating rubbish you can just cook them the same as what you are eating.
The children I look after are 5 and 7 so not much older. I made them things like:

Fishcakes with mash pot and veg
Chicken tikka or masala with rice
Spaghetti bolognese
Chicken noodle stir fry
Pizza
Fishfingers, potatoes and rice
Jacket pototo with baked beans
Salmon with veg and new pots


Or if theyve had a school dinner I usually make them a sandwich with veg sticks to dip in hummous

apart from twice a week when they can have a snack like chocolate/ice cream/mousse etc, dessert is always fruit and/or yoghurt.

jellyhead

PD she's not being lazy! They are not her children, she can't implement a new set of rules without the agreement of the children's parents, or at least their father.

Kathy535

If you think her diet is affecting her health, could you get her some children's vitamins? I realise you'd have to send them home with her or only let her have them at your house, but it might help.

My daughter wasn't fussy (she'd happily eat anything IF she was in the right mood) but she was particular about what she wanted on the day - one month, she only ate melon. For another (v stressful) fortnight she would only eat egg with ketchup (stressful because she got massively constipated!) I took the advice of my wonderful mother, 3 kids and a childminder for 30yrs, who said that it's just not worth giving the child power by creating a battle over food. Have your rules (limit 'bad for you' food like crisps, sweets etc; no dessert if main not eaten etc) but let them dictate what they eat and don't make a fuss. Be consistent but fair. If you let children know that they are able to wind you up then they will exploit that to the limit.

She also said that every child has the potential to be a mini dictator and I think that is actually very true. Sometimes, I wish I listened to my mum more often!! (But not about early mornings, it doesn't make me happy getting up early in the morning, it makes me a b*tch)

brokenlily

Come into this one late in the day....but having dealt with an extremely fussy nephew, I can only echo the sage advice about giving the child what you eat, and if they don't eat what's put in front of them and you are anxious about them not eating, you could offer something very plain like a glass of milk or a piece of bread and butter.

Nephew was 3/4 when he went through that stage and it just took a lot of consistency. My sister's MIL used to give into him and that did make things difficult, but kids CAN take on the concept of different rules in different homes - he did at that age, and the MIL still feeds him full of junk that he's only allowed there, he knows full well he's not allowed it at home, at our parents or if he's with me. Same theory goes for kiddies going between two homes - if they try the "it's this way at mum's" tactic, then you just have to say "but at dad's house we do things this way" and they will get used to it, so long as you are consistent and fair with it. That also removes any frustrations you have with the child's mother giving into the fussy eating - you can deal with the situation in your home as you guys see fit. You might "only be the girlfriend" in the eyes of some, but that a) doesn't stop you from caring about children who spend a fair bit of time in your home and b) doesn't mean you should not have any input into how the children are raised when they are in your care and your home. Whether or not you have kids of your own is quite frankly neither here nor there either, rest assured that having a baby does not confer on you some magical superior knowledge of how to raise kids in exactly the right way - you kinda have to learn as you go!