A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

grandma247

Evie I know how hard it is to be so torn.

My oldest dd has not started back at work since she had her youngest over a year ago because of childcare costs. With her first the childs other grandma looked after her several days a week so dd only needed to put her in nursery for a couple of days a week to give grandma a rest.

I would have done it like a shot but dd lives just too far away. I would have to be up at the crack of dawn to get there on the motorway for 7 or 8 am ( not sure what time she started.)

They have actually asked if she could possibly try and go back because they need her but I don't know what she will do.Dd does love her job and she likes being at home although she gets bored.

mardatha

Articles in newspapers are just that, not the holy grail or the secret of life. Just one writer's words. And the same writer might say the exact oppposite a few years later, for a different paper. Words are just words. We only have our children for 15 years really - not much out of a lifetime. So enjoy time at home being a mummy

Softstuff

Byatt wrote: »

>>the aim of some young women was to ‘marry a rich husband and retire’ rather than build a career of their own.<<


:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I knew I went wrong somewhere... hilarious if it wasn't so stupid.

I joke to hubby that I seem to have inadvertently done just that :rotfl:

I haven't been able to find suitable work, but since hubby has had a wage increase and works a bit of overtime, and we budget we've been managing very well. We thank our lucky stars each day. I've become quite the housewife, waiting on him hand and foot (it makes sense to, because the 10 minutes it would take for him to make his own cuppa earns us a fair bit!).

We're getting by though despite what the government is up to over here with taxes. The new carbon tax is a joke for couples like us or individuals. People with kids and seniors receive tax rebates which exceed the extra they'll be paying out. Single or no kids? Tough *****, you'll pay extra for goods and services, extra income tax to fund the rebates for others, oh and as a little added bonus, if your spouse doesn't work and is under 42 you'll no longer get a tax offset there either. I roughly worked out that new taxation will be costing us about $1200 a year (800 quid).

I'm not complaining too much for us, we'll manage it, but I daresay there's many singles and couples with no kids who will struggle greatly.

I'm waiting to see what the new carbon tax does to our grocery bills. Lets just say they won't be travelling downwards :rotfl:

Popperwell

Softstuff,
I heard a big feature about the Carbon Tax on the radio less than an hour ago...I can appreciate your concerns even if you are managing and as you say you'll have to see what happens when it really kicks in...

ginnyknit

I think we all need a) a hug and b) a bl**dy big gold star just for having the strength to carry on whatever life is throwing at us all at the moment. I for one am totally disgusted on behalf of everyone who will suffer the latest round of cuts. I really cannot bear the thought of it all. Going to the supermarket now makes me angry and looking at the utility bills makes my blood boil.

We had a little trip out today to an old fashioned shopping street not far away. Its amazing, its like stepping back many years, theres even an ironmongers, OH went in and said 'smell the air in here' apart from the missing paraffin smell (its in sealed bottles now -health and safety no doubt) it took me back to my childhood. I think the reason the street survives, just a short bus ride from a big shopping centre, is because its a very poor area and the locals have kept it going because the prices are very good and theres everything you need.

I am in awe of you fuddle, to go through all that stress and manage to achieve what you set out to do is brilliant.

Smileyt if theres a little garage near you go and ask them to fill your petrol can for you, they are usually very helpful or if you can wait till Friday we will take you to do it. And an extra hug to you my dear friend .:D

Popperwell

A very good and interesting post GK,
If you are off to bed, I hope that you sleep well. I'll catch up on some tv and radio on here and besides I've just finally finished my meal:)at this late hour!

I enjoyed it though...

Sleep well...

meme30

BBC Breakfast have just done a feature on Spanish Slugs!! They have been in our country since the 70's! My poor one and only courgette plant suffered a serious attack by Snails over the weekend, Didn't eat the lettuce tho!!?

Both my DD's went back to work after having their children, and I help out by having the children before and after school. I was a SAHM, having been a latch-key kid myself. I know my DD's hate leaving their children but feel better because it's family they leave them with. All of this make perfect sense to me. what has amazed me is the reaction among some of my friends to my decision to help with my Grandchildren. Certainly disapproval, and sometimes outright 'spite'.
One person has retired at 56 and has smugly said that she has informed her DD that she has no intention of looking after her grandchildren. Both she and her husband have retired in their mid fifties. They are very close to their DD, both in spirit and proximity, (live just a couple of miles away)so this has amazed me. Apparently she needs to study cake making and a new language!
All of this is fine except for the fact that she throws it in my face, as though by looking after my grandchildren I have a less important life, and my DD's are very selfish!! I don't know why she looks down on me?! I don't feel put on by my DD's. Yes there are days when I am tired out by my Grandchildren, but the rewards are amazing. These few short years will fly by and I am extraordinarily lucky to be able to share them. I have a lovely relationship with them and would not swap it for the world, never mind a a cake class. :rotfl:

Where did the snobbishness regarding Grandchildren's childcare come from? I know several Gramdmas who are equally 'pitied'! At the same time, I know lots of friends who would happily look after their Grandchildren but live too far away.

Popperwell

meme30 wrote: »

Both my DD's went back to work after having their children, and I help out by having the children before and after school. I was a SAHM, having been a latch-key kid myself. I know my DD's hate leaving their children but feel better because it's family they leave them with. All of this make perfect sense to me. what has amazed me is the reaction among some of my friends to my decision to help with my Grandchildren. Certainly disapproval, and sometimes outright 'spite'.
One person has retired at 56 and has smugly said that she has informed her DD that she has no intention of looking after her grandchildren. Both she and her husband have retired in their mid fifties. They are very close to their DD, both in spirit and proximity, (live just a couple of miles away)so this has amazed me. Apparently she needs to study cake making and a new language!
All of this is fine except for the fact that she throws it in my face, as though by looking after my grandchildren I have a less important life, and my DD's are very selfish!! I don't know why she looks down on me?! I don't feel put on by my DD's. Yes there are days when I am tired out by my Grandchildren, but the rewards are amazing. These few short years will fly by and I am extraordinarily lucky to be able to share them. I have a lovely relationship with them and would not swap it for the world, never mind a a cake class. :rotfl:

Where did the snobbishness regarding Grandchildren's childcare come from? I know several Gramdmas who are equally 'pitied'! At the same time, I know lots of friends who would happily look after their Grandchildren but live too far away.

Morning Meme,
If you feel young enough to look after your grandchildren and get the rewards out having a stronger tie to them(as you say the time will pass by so quickly)do it! I know who is getting the better deal between "You" and your friend.

Then agaoin, perhapds there isn't quite the loving nature/relationship, the closeness between that friend and her grandchildren(Is it any wonder?)Perhaps she is not as close to her own children.

She still could do some looking after them even if not as often of it.

Here we go again...a lot of people working today could not do so without family to fall back on...

When I was a child Mum was there most of time but as others have said money was just as tight and I realise Mum went out to work again in a variety of jobs probably not because she wanted to but had to(as I write this, I realise that I never discussed this with her)

Luckily my grandma lived at the bottom of the street and I spent a lot of time with her by choice and had a really close bond. I did not stay for school meals so I used to have my lunch there. My grand said she could "not have loved me any more than if I had been her own son" and that's some compliment!

I probably should not have but everyone does go home after school and they often on there own so was a bit of a latch key kid but I could not have been loved or wanted more.

My memory is bad but I don't think I was alone long as Mum, Dad or both would be home perhaps 30mins to hour after I got in and being a tv fan I was just happy to be watching the tv.

How fancy does that friend wnat her cakes to be? How many is she planning on making. Even I can bake a cake. With or without instructions...:rotfl:

Why is it I can see this and I don't have children of my own? I probably would have been a good Dad and not a bad Grandfather but I doubt either will happen now...but thankfully Mum though she'd have loved any children I would have had, she was genuinely not disappointed that I did not have any...She would have been a lovely grandma. Such a loving and giving nature.

mardatha

Well.... everybody is different and should be free to make choices in their lives. In the 70s we were too busy coping with recession and strikes. In the 80s all the womens mags were making us feel really bad if we didn't work. In the 90s all the womens mags were making us feel really bad if we did work. Now parents find themselves on a hamster wheel of having to work to pay childcare so they can work. It's mad!
I just dont think I was put on this earth to do what everybody else does, in order to fit in. You know? It's my life, my choices and I don't interfere with them so they needn't bother interfering with me.

Popperwell

mardatha wrote: »

Well.... everybody is different and should be free to make choices in their lives. In the 70s we were too busy coping with recession and strikes. In the 80s all the womens mags were making us feel really bad if we didn't work. In the 90s all the womens mags were making us feel really bad if we did work. Now parents find themselves on a hamster wheel of having to work to pay childcare so they can work. It's mad!
I just dont think I was put on this earth to do what everybody else does, in order to fit in. You know? It's my life, my choices and I don't interfere with them so they needn't bother interfering with me.

What you say is right. It is that "making you feel guilty" if you do not do what others seem to and a lot of this is forced on or made to look the norm by the "So called Experts" of which there are many, the media(and again I question a lot of what it puts out)and yes, the polticians.

I'm generalising but many of them did not spend a lot of time at home when they were young and were probably sent(well we know it's true with many in the present government)to bording school etc...if it works for some...fine!

And again many of them because of the kind of jobs they are doing, use paid help and can afford to. But it's wrong that because they do they expect and tell the rest of us how to bring up "our" children.

Parents should decide what's right for them.

Most do a fine job and although some perhaps need some advice, best part whether they have a Mum and Dad or through circumstances are having to do it as a single parent can be proud of how their children turn out and how they managed.