A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

prepareathome

[QUOTE=Pooky;54209109

Fast forward another few years DHs career had progressed, I gave up my business to finish getting the kids through school and into secondary and was on the cusp of beginning to look for a job outside of the home when DH was a passenger in a car travelling to work (a fairly new job, a huge promotion), the car was involved in a nasty accident, which has left DH disabled, disheartened and has ruined his career. He's not been able to work now for three years and whilst my intent was to return to work, I simply can't, I need to be here to care for him..[/QUOTE]

As I am way behind and I always forget posts to reply to will post as I read - pooky my heart goes out to you, yes this is what the benefits are supposed to be for people like you who through no fault of your own are suffering hardship. Hugs and love to you both xxxx

stiltwalker

Happy Birthday PAH - hope you have a good one.

Well the small ones seems to be back up to strength after last weeks bout of the plague so hopefully we are back to normal service here. Still desperately trying to get the funding and support organised for DD to go to nursery in September and now I'm told I need to start organising school for the following year! Will have to get her statemented so she can have the support she needs but that's next terms battle!

My parents are fantastic emotional support and they will do odd days but they live almost an hour and half's drive away so too far for regular stuff and OH's parents are very elderly - MIL will be 79 soon and FIL is 84. The biggest help my parents offer is the hotel service know as 'going up for a visit'. We try and get up once a month or so and they pamper me and make lovely meals, provide good wine and refuse to let me wash up! Looking forward to this weekend as we are heading up there after a bit of a longer gap as we have all been so busy recently we couldn't co-ordinate a weekend.

Sorry you're getting nowhere with them Byatt, hope you can make them see sense soon. If I bang my head against that brick wall too, maybe we can make a tune! In fact we could probably get a tough times orchestra together!!

Hobsons_Choice

Happy Birthday PAH..hope you have a great day.

As I've said before, most of these MPs (of whichever party) have never had to live in the real world. Anyone can spout off about things they know nothing about and have never experienced. Just makes them look like idiots (not difficult with most of 'em). The only one I had time for was
Frank Field, I met him once when I did voluntary social work and he was very understanding. Maybe Dennis Skinner would be OK if he wasn't so angry most of the time!
'Nough politics. I'm off to the library to see if they've thrown some computers out and actually bought some new books.

Possession

Happy birthday PAH!

Popperwell

Hobsons_Choice wrote: »

As I've said before, most of these MPs (of whichever party) have never had to live in the real world. Anyone can spout off about things they know nothing about and have never experienced. Just makes them look like idiots (not difficult with most of 'em).

And yet most of us may not have experienced some of the things we talk of but we have a well rounded view of what others are experiencing or can see their point of view. As I did earlier when talking about children(even though I am single, never married or had any of my own)

This is probably because of how my parents brought me up but also I bother to find out about things and listen to all sides. These politicians we have, I am sure could do likewise but they are either oblivious for some reason or simply just cannot be bothered and once they are installed in Parliament they don't have to.

Some become career politicians and are there years and they perhaps do become more and more isolated from "Real life"

So when suddenly they don't get re-elected it becomes as a bit of a shock.

Then again they probably have built up contacts and have favours they can call in so they are still out of touch but I am sure there are some that are in tune with those who elected them but those have usually come into politics late in life after working in industry but these days it is getting harder for such people to enter Parliament.

Most come into politics straight from Uni as a researcher working for an MP. Otherwise they are from the professions such as lawyers etc...

I try not to judge as I feel I am being hypocritical but I watched the last PMQ's and found myself thinking "You're an MP!" How on earth...but then again someone voted them in...of course we don't know what the competition was like locally.

elona

Happy Birthday to PAH


:bdaycake:


I ended up not going back to work as I had twins and even if good childcare had been available it would have taken all my salary what with cost of train fares etc.

I have been SAHM ever since and looked after children, house, finances and did some admin for dh etc to help out.

Had four dds and youngest is now 18 and hoping to go to uni.

DDs tease me about having retired at a young age i.e. after having children and being at home. Think they secretly enjoyed the fact that someone was always there - even now they are a bit surprised if I am out for a while.

DH dug up some potatoes from the garden so I can make potato salad tonight with sausages or spiced chicken pieces. Needs to be quick to prepare as we need to go out to look for new bathroom stuff (bigger and walk in shower) and he keeps changing his mind.

Hugs to all

GreyQueen

Happy Birthday PAH!


Popperwell, I know what you mean. I listen to the politicians and find myself thinking aloud; "Is THIS the best we can do?!"

My MP seems to be an idiot. I don't know him personally, but the stuff he comes out with seems to suggest he might be a fool as well as a conniving and dishonest so-and-so. He's already done-down enough of the consituents to make it highly likely that he will lose the next election (majority of a few hundred only) so I live in hopes of seeing the back of him. Not that I voted for him in the first place.............

prepareathome

fuddle wrote: »

Aw pooky, there's so many stories of need for the benefits system. I too feel the guilt you know. The guilt of being a stay at home mum. I feel like I should not do my mummy duties because I should be earning money. I feel tarred with the same brush as some women who... I can't be judgemental but I know what I mean.

I've had a wobble tonight. I've been to my daughter's new junior school meeting. I saw the children that were in her class. It was all the children who she's had issues with, the more bolshy ones and all her friends were in the other class. She wouldn't have had any body and I know my daughter she would really struggle. I said to one of the mum's that I was worried and she said that maybe I should go talk to the headteacher when she was finished her speech. I sat for nearly an hour not at all listening to what she was saying, worrying. When the time came to talk to the head I could feel myself going, my hands were shaking uncontrollably and I had tears coming from my eyes. I glared at another mum, who also has panic attacks, for help and she came over. Another of the mum's who knows the situation came in for support. One spoke for me as I couln't speak and the other one asked did I want a beta blocker that she takes when she has a bad attack. I said yes (stupid I know but I needed to talk to the lady and calm myself down) within minutes I was pulling myself round and able to talk. They are going to try their best to accomodate my little girl's friendship groups. She said normally they wouldn't just swap children on parents whim but could see I was deeply upset by it. I feel absolutely mortified. It's the first time I have done that in public. I'm scared that I will do it in public again. Panic attacks normally are connected to my children or husband's safety. Why I did it this time I do not know. I'm very confused and very embarrassed. I left saying I hope that she didn't think I was acting and putting on the tears to get my own way and that I'm normally a very level headed, grounded, quiet person.

Fuddle as my heart goes out to you and having had panic attacks for many years but overcame them I know exactly how you are feeling.


Oh fuddle, I know exactly how you felt, had panic attacks myself for years only mine came after our youngest daughter died then other two seriously ill with whooping cough and in hospital for 6 weeks, but they only hit me after that was all over and we were trying to get some normality back in our lives. Mine like yours were bound up with my family I felt I could not keep them safe and so the panics started.

Just please do not let the panic last night keep you from going out again, been there done that got the tee-shirt. You were uptight and worried for your daughter so panic happened, you are not going to be in the same situation again so you will not panic again.......will pm you

Hugs and lovexxxx

fuddle

Happy Birthday pah

pah I've been out this morning. I've been to the nurse and the school/nursery drop off's and took the dog over the fields. I've spent a long time on the dog training him today, it's helped take my mind off it. I'll be alright. I'm stubborn and if these start to take mover my life well I'll be down to that surgery quick sharpish to get help. Maybe my counselling in the next few months will help too. Popperwell I have a few paper bags in the cupboard for when it's very bad. Last nights didn't really see me hyperventilating just crying and the hand shaking.

Feel like I should post something tough or OS as I'm really off topic but the truth is I'm doing nothing... would dunking digestives in a cup of tea be OS enough?

meanmarie

Happy birthday PAH.

Fuddle....hugs.

Marie