A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

Popperwell

Yummy Mummies Fuddle? Take a look at this and the reaction it caused...I think this was so wrong, few are looking for a rich guy tso they can stay at home with their children, most stay at home because it's the right thing to do and are not YM's...

If anyone has said that of you again, they are making asumptions...you did for the right reasons and as you say circumstances changed...

http://uk.lifestyle.yahoo.com/cherie-blair-criticises-slams-full-time-stay-at-home-mums.html

grandma247

What a load of twaddle
I also want to be the best possible mother, but I know that my job as a mother includes bringing my children up so actually they can live without me.”

A good mother encourages gradual independance, she does not farm that job out to a full time nanny even if she has one.

smileyt_2

Greyqueen I would not jest about so serious a matter as slugs!
Link for you here: http://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-2167558/Spanish-slugs-munching-gardens-weather-creates-perfect-environment.html

It doesn't say how they got here. Easyjet? Cling like a limpet under the wings and then drop off and crawl down the runway to freedom once in England's green and pleasant land? They probably think it's slug Shangri-La with all the rain we have here!

MrsVegPlot as you have finished your ironing, can I send mine over please? :rotfl:

Grandma thank you for the hug. I am basically happy with my work and doing the voluntary work I do, but I just don't have the confidence to go for any jobs which involve serious responsibility or deadlines because I fear that I will go under with the pressure. So my earning capacity is limited. It doesn't help that I spent seven years in a job with a perfectionist boss, for whom nothing I did was ever good enough .... five years on and I am still battling that demon!

However it matters not. I am grateful that I have the physical capacity to cycle ten miles in a day and still be standing at the end! (Albeit only just :rotfl:).

Byatt

>>the aim of some young women was to ‘marry a rich husband and retire’ rather than build a career of their own.<<


:rotfl::rotfl::rotfl:

I knew I went wrong somewhere... hilarious if it wasn't so stupid.

grandma247

When I went to the doctor for my first visit after I discovered I was having my youngest at age 44 I had a very interesting conversation with her. I was worried if I would cope.

Cherie Blair was pregnant at the same time. My doctor said well if cherie can cope at her age so can you. I told her "anyone can cope when they have everything done for them!" She said "well yes I suppose she will have a full time nanny as well as other servants.", "never mind you will cope because you always have done"

Popperwell

Well she's in one world but not the one that many(probably the most)live in...

Evie74_2

Good evening all

I've finally managed to turf DH off the PC and have a little catch up on MSE!

Fuddle - well done for going to speak to the headteacher. I suffer from panic attacks too and I know how utterly overwhelming they are. You did so well to hold it together enough to speak up for your daughter.

What you said about feeling guilty resonated with me; I feel guilty because I can't stay at home with my girls. Much as I would love to be a SAHM, the figures just don't stack up unless I go to work as well. So I work the minimum number of hours I can, so that we as a family can break even (and maybe save a tiny bit for a rainy day), but I am still home in the afternoons for the children.

I find that media articles seem to berate women for heartlessly dumping their babies in child care whilst waltzing off, footloose and fancy free, and with nary a backward glance, to selfishly climb the career ladder. These articles speak of the untold damage such cold-hearted mothers are doing to their children and speak of the long term ill-effects that early years child care will cause.

I think the fact that you see all the articles claiming that all stay-at-home mums are either benefits scroungers or "yummy mummies" probably means two things:-

1. We see the articles which directly criticize us, but somehow never notice the ones which support us. Mothers are genetically programmed to feel guilty about something, and the media plays on that; and

2. Most newspapers just make it up as they go along.

The truth is that we all strive to do the best we can for our families. We are never going to be perfect, but we can be good enough. In an ideal world, parents would have more choice about balancing both the needs of our children and the financial side of things. But this isn't an ideal world, and we all have to find a way that works for us.

And if the Da!ly Ma!l doesn't like it, tough.

Oh dear. I seem to have got on my soapbox... sorry! Perhaps I'd better go to bed now. I hope I haven't offended anyone

*Slinks away quietly*

Evie xx

grandma247

Popperwell wrote: »

Well she's in one world but not the one that many(probably the most)live in...

Yes well A very rude sounding Aussie saying came to mind.

smileyt_2

Evie, I can't think of a single person who contributes to this thread who would find what you just said offensive! xx

Evie74_2

Thank you Smiley- I am not normally so vocal, but the way parents are portrayed in certain quarters really gets my goat. We're darned if we do and darned if we don't!

Those who stay at home are berated just as often as those who choose not to -and with very little consideration given to how much "choice" any of those parents had. I have friends who decided not to go back to work after having babies, not because they didn't have careers to go back to, but because the child care is so enormously expensive it simply wasn't worthwhile going back.

I went back because if I hadn't, we would not be able to pay the mortgage. We can manage with me working part time, but only because I get an awful lot of help with child care from my mum, who helps out with school holidays so I don't have to put the girls into an expensive holiday club. If I had to do that, I'd have to work full time simply to pay for the child care. Which is ludicrous, when you think about it.

Evie xx