A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

grandma247

Thank you all for your kind words.

PAH i will pass the number on to my daughter. I do not know what kind of help they have had if any.
Good for you for getting out of that marriage. My father was like that and even though they divorced when I was 14 the damage was done. It had its effects on all four of us children that have lasted to this day. I am so fortunate to have a husband that is the exact opposite.

meme30

Pah & Grandma :- am in tears reading your posts. The brutality of the world leaves me speechless. Big hugs to both of you. :grouphug:

prepareathome

Oh gosh I didn't tell my story to bring people to tears honestly, just to let grandma and others know that if they need a shoulder to cry on anytime and feel they don't know who would understand how they feel, that I would. I might need your shoulders to cry on if my money stops and we try to live on hubbys wages, I already did yesterday be warned more most likely to come.

As you can see am up very handy today, fell asleep around 3.30am, woke up at 6am for bathroom so took my morning meds then and got up just before 8am as I am eager to get on with my phone calls, so now propped up drinking tea as nothing I can do till 9am. I need a shower but not quite up to that yet. I think I will write down what I need to do every day before I am able to get out, including how long it takes me just in case everyone asks - usually about 4 hrs I think.

I am one of those that never wants to look ill, ok I don't usually go in for make-up ( much to my mums dispair, she always had to put her lipstick and a bit of powder on before going out, but not as bad as putting it on as soon as she got up) but always even on worst depressed days I would be neat and tidy and in fact the more pain or tiredness I feel the more effort I make as I hope people will see the clothes and not me. I am in PJs most of the time but if anyone is coming I get dressed and I answer the door always wearing a bathrobe rather than my dressing gowns in the hope people might think I am just in or out of the bath not that I have been a lazy thing and not bothered getting dressed, but it seems such a bother and takes up energy I can use for other things - hence me working in back garden in pjs.

I have decided i will keep an on-line diary of my battle, not that I am very good at doing things like that, as my food diary shows but I feel if I can and even if I do not succeed being changed to the support group it might help others who are going to go through this so I will make a real effort to do it. it will also be a memory aid for me as to what avenues I have gone down and what I still have to try.

Well started this post at just one 8am and now its 8.36 its taking me longer and longer to post these days.

So onwards and upwards, my sword is raised, let the battle commence

Hugs and Love to all xxx

grandma247

Well you helped me thank you.
If the posts made anyone cry it shows you have compassion. We are so bad in this country about showing our feelings.

Hobsons_Choice

Preparethehome and Grandma: Very sad posts and I feel for you - but inspiring as well. Thankyou.

suzid

Hello everyone.

I haven’t posted for quite a while as I needed to go off quietly and heal after losing my beloved old friend A1. Last year is a year we were glad to see the back of and I’m now determined to be happy and positive this year. There’s so much sadness and intolerance in the world, that it can all get too much. I’ve therefore decided that if I can’t do a thing about it then all I can do is try and be happy which in turn may help the people around me. I have plans for growing early potatoes, runner beans and peas and DH has bought himself a selection of seeds and garlic cloves. Last year I had no enthusiasm to grow anything but did eventually buy some runner bean plants which were very successful. The fruit did very well too and fingers crossed that it does well again. I’m still using all the sauces I made from it as a topper for fresh fruit and yogurt which I have daily as part of our eat healthier campaign.

Reading all about the little messages from lost loved ones I thought I’d share mine with you all. We have A1’s ashes, his collar and a canvas photo opposite the foot of our bed. I know many will find this maudlin but we have found it comforting. Anyway the one thing to make this scene complete was snowdrops as his lordship dug up all of them at the side of the house when he was a puppy. I eventually bought a glass vase with pretty glass snowdrops in and put it on top of his casket. That evening sitting in bed reading a book I suddenly got a very strong scent of A1, but the minute I tried to track it down it was gone. DH and I are convinced this was A1 sending his approval of the snowdrops. The pain has gone and all that’s now left is love and every time I look at his little shrine I smile. Feel free to call me bonkers (many do) but it’s all been an important part of the healing process.

Well the expected loss of DH’s essential car users payments is set to happen shortly. The staff have to vote to accept this plus having to take 2 days unpaid holiday to avoid redundancies. He’s already totally p$$$ed off with how he’s been treated but was relatively resigned to it all when he told me. He’s no longer work obsessed but it just doing what he has to and that’s it. At last he has a life outside work and I’m sure his illness last year has alot to do with it. We’ve bought a tent and plan to go camping several times this year, taking the Mad Mutt with us, heaven help us. I’m trying to stay as positive as possible, looking at the light at the end of the tunnel. The mortgage repaid and me receiving my pension, if they haven’t moved it yet again, in three years time. Plus if things do pick up DH will look at changing job. In the meantime he still has one and we can manage even if we have to do yet more pruning – a water meter is the next thing to consider.

Sorry if I’ve rambled and this post seems trivial after reading what so many of you are going through. Gentle (((hugs))) for all those in need and I hope you will soon be able to overcome your sadness – pain – problems. Best wishes to you all. Suzi

prepareathome

Suzid how can your post be trivial, that is saying your life is, which it most definitely is not. I am just so sorry life has turned out far tougher for you than you thought it would be as you neared retirement, by now with your mortgage paid off you should be making plans for cruises and far flung holidays not buying a tent for them. I just hope and pray your husbands firm keeps going or he can find a job in a firm where he would be happy yet earn enough to make things easier for you.

[Deleted User]

Oh SUZID I know just how that feels, we lost our old Border Terrier Badger 10 years ago and I am certain he's still here, some days I hear the jingle of his collar and doggie footsteps coming down the stairs, specially when I am working in the kitchen. We lasted one year still trying to feed the dog at 5.30 and closing the door to keep him in before we got our lurcher and hes 9 now so we're enjoying every crazy minute with him. I know the jingle isn't coming from him because he can't wear a collar due to an old neck injury - so Badge is welcome as long as he wants to stay.

shelley_crow

I feel like complete and utter !*£% at the moment. Having problems with my youngest at the moment, he's resisting sleep in the day although he very clearly needs it. If I don't put him down for a nap, he goes through the day in a right mood and ends up waking up at silly times of the night for some reason. Added to this I think the terrible twos have kicked in (he's only 17 months).

He had a nap yesterday but was up all night screaming like a pig in a slaughterhouse. That's not a very nice analogy to use but that was honestly what he sounded like. He's crying at the moment because I've put him down for a nap but he won't sleep.

To top that off someone I thought was a friend took to facebook to broadcast to the world how much he is crying, didn't bother asking me about it, just decided to put it out there! I was so angry, had to watch what I said.

It's making me feel $&*" that he's in pain and there's not much I can do for him other than what I'm doing already, then I feel bad that he's had this hiccup in his sleep routine and waking the neighbours up. I'm screwed whatever I do. Sorry for the rant, I've been up since 2am with him and it's making me a little narky.

suzid

Thank you PAH and MrsLW you are both so kind.

With all you have to contend with PAH, I have absolutley nothing to complain about. I don't crave foreign holidays, or expensive goods. I have a lovely family, a fantastic Dh and I'm healthy, what more could a 'girl' as for Somewhat slimmer would be nice though .

MrsLW hearing your Badge's collar jangle is lovely. I love Doc's letters, by the way, what an absolute star. We lost our female GSD in 2009 and were convinced we kept catching glimpses of her out of the corner of our eyes. She was about 12 yrs and A1 was almost 13 so had good long lives for big dogs, and boy were they loved. It's odd just having Mad Mutt now but he's coped well being on his own and with such unsettled times think it's best to keep to one, especially in the tent -:eek:

Shelley-crow you must be at your wits end. DD been through some awful times with DGS recently. He's 19 months now and just cut his eye teeth. She worries about what the neighbour thinks with all the screaming. Try and grab any chance you can to sleep and see a doctor if he doesn't settle soon, just for your own peace of mind. ((hugs))