A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

GreyQueen

short_bird wrote: »

Good thing you weren't in our local Wa!trose last week as over half the fresh stuff I intended to buy had a sell by date of 24th Feb:rotfl:

By gum, that's a worry. Mind you, could be worse if someone'd got a bit playful at the packing plant and stuck February 30th as the BBE date...............:rotfl:

MrsLurcherwalker wrote: »

GQ - just like Elizabeth Taylor - she had 3" nails too!!!!!!!!! Doesn't get any more glamorous than that can you?

But were hers rusty? Actually, by the time I'd got out of the [STRIKE]salt mine[/STRIKE] office, I had a few errands to do and was too pooped to toil up to the lottie so stayed at home and washed my hair.

PAH, that is sooooooo soooooo wrong in so many ways. Get your MP and Uncle Tom Cobbley and all onto it. Those bullies don't like the light of publicity on them. ((hugs)).

Smileyt what's important is that you look after your health so that you can function and live well, and it doesn't matter a jot what onlookers may think of your working life. I work a few hours a day over the week and have cunningly distributed my annual leave in dribs and drabs over the bulk of the year so that I can catch up on my rest. Only the person involved can know what it costs them, physically and emotionally, to do their work. I sleep about 11 hours in 24 at the moment, and would sleep more if I had half a chance.

On a happier note, I have lined my tummy with the remaining FB half-pie and steamed h.g broad beans. I swear my countertop freezer must be a portal to another dimension because no matter how many of the blasted things I eat, they keep on appearing.

Ooooohhh, still seriously-overwhelmed by the bb. Actually watched a wee video clip in one website about tiny houses. It was lovely and I want one. I feel like I've come in from the cold and joined the civilised world..........:rotfl:

Well, apart from you lot, of course. (Grins, ducks barrage of OS-themed missiles and scampers off into the sunset).:p

Sleep well, lovely peeps, and here's hoping tummy bugs are settling down as we speak.

ETA Oh grandma, that poor poor family. Bereaved then treated like that.....! Words fail me.

jamanda

I haven't posted much lately as RL got in the way.

I have to say I'm absolutely horrified how people are being treated. Yes, we all want the con merchants to stop getting benefits, but surely when it is so obvious that people are genuine they should help them, not make them suicidal. From someone who has no knowledge of the system, this is indeed an eye-opener and I'm so sorry for those of you who are being victimised for being ill.
I have always been under the fond illusion that if something serious affects your health then you would be able to get help. Obviously not.

Grandma 247 - this also defies belief. Yes they need to ensure the protection of other children, but there has to be a better way than this.

I feel so sorry for so many at the moment, and I'm counting my lucky stars that it isn't me and mine - I didn't know whether to put "yet" in there or if it is tempting fate.

Keep fighting for your health and dignity. You are very brave.

I hope to goodness I never get anything serious. It is too scary to contemplate that anyone could be sent out to work in that state.

katieowl_2

smileyt wrote: »

PAH that's shocking! I admit I used to go to the doctor's in unwashed clothes and with greasy hair to convince them that my depression really was bad (it was). People judge by appearances and if you're busting a gut to keep yourself clean and socially acceptable that's all they see, they don't see that it might have taken you two or three hours to summon up the mental energy or cope with pain to get yourself looking 'normal'. Hugs to you (()).

I agree totally with that, that is also what I told needy friend. I know she has a history of 'covering' how bad she feels with bling and lots of eyeliner! I said to her that she should make sure she looks her absolute worst. I could see her making an effort to appear as normal as she could, and being told to 'go forth' when in reality last year she told me she'd not done any washing for six months! She also has a professional persona which come into play...which also needs to take the day off. They need worst case scenario, or you do not have an icecubes in Hades.

grandma247 wrote: »

Well I can tell you what happened at the weekend now...
Sorry this is a rant but there does not seem to be any sense or rhyme and reason in the different ways people are treated.

You rant away all you want. What an awful thing to have happened, and yes it does sound very tactlessly dealt with.
(((Hugs))) to all concerned.


Kate

VJsmum

PAH - how shocking that you feel you have to do that to be taken seriously
Grandma - feeling for your daughter's friend and her family (and you and DD as well)

I have to say the system was absolutely wonderful to my mum who was severely disabled with Rheumatoid Arthritis from the age of 40 - social services and her health care people were wonderful to her. It seems a different ball game now.

The latest on Dad is that he has MRSA :eek: - however the hospital don't seem too worried and, reading up about it, it looks like he is a carrier rather than being infected, though I guess that can change. He says he feels no different and he isn't isolated and can have visitors. He just has to have a nasal gel. But it is one damn thing after another.

Found a few good whoopsies in Mr M tonight tho people do seem to have cottoned on and there isn't as much as there used to be- I picked up salmon, prawns, pancakes and potato cakes.

DS shared his homemade lemon drizzle cake that was in his lunch with some friends and they said it was the nicest cake they'd ever had

prepareathome

Oh my God Grandma my heart goes out to them. My daughter who would have been 30 in a few weeks also died of SIDS. I was very, very lucky as the police doctor who came was 99.9% sure she died of it, but until he said this I had a police woman follow me everywhere even into the bathroom, and when I went to make food for my other two she actually checked everything it was horrible, and then this bully of a CID officer came but it was not me he went for but my two year old, he decided he must have smothered her and he went on an on at my son no matter what I said ( ended up son having have counselling treatment when he was 7 but thankfully now 32 and seems ok, but he would not go near his new brother, born 2 years later for a long, long time) and only when the police doctor said SIDs did this bully go, no goodbye, no sorry nothing just walked out the room. They just took our daughter and her bedding ( which was returned at her funeral) and the PM was the next day, it did show what they expect to find in SIDS, along with the fact she had, had a cold at the time and I had her at the doctors just the afternoon before, but is not always present so that was it. A social worker did appear a few days later to ask if I needed help, I said no and never saw them again. I knew at the time I was very lucky as I had heard of so many parents being arrested or there being an inquest. The guilt you feel that you must have done something to cause your childs death is punishment enough without those poor people having to go through all this. If there is any way I can help them please feel free to PM me I understand so well. It might be 30 years ago but every year when it comes round to her birthday then anniversary of her death I am back there wondering could I have done anything different to prevent it, did I do something different with her that caused it. I have allowed her tissues to be used for testing but so far she has not fallen into any the reasons they have discovered over the years. My closest friend at the time the day after she died called me a murderer as she said she had been there just hours before she died and apart from the cold she was fine so I must have done something, end of a friendship, over the years she has been in touch and although I have spoken to her, as she now has knowledge of SIDS I cannot ever been friends with her, the word Murderer always is there between us, at one point I felt if she thought I had done something then I must have without knowing it- I even talked doctors into given me sodium pentathol to take me through from the day before until finding her, they recorded everything so I could hear I had not done anything wrong, but the guilt remains and always will. Honestly if there is anything I can do let me know, my heart goes out to all of them. Those poor, poor people........hugs and love

smileyt_2

((Prepareathome))


ETA VJsmum I hope your dad makes a good recovery and I hope the MRSA doesn't develop. xx

scrabbles_2

PAH (((HUGS)))

And grandma247, (((HUGS))) to that poor family

grandma247

Prepareathome your post made me cry. What horrid people there are, a grown up bullying a little child that way is just unforgiveable. I hope that man never sleeps at night. You know in your heart there was nothing you could have done and I hope my Dd's friend and her dh realise that they could not have prevented it. Even when all the new things that people are told to do with their babies is done there are still going to be unexplained deaths. I will pm you in a mo.

PIC thanks. I did sleep fine. I am doing better with the sleeping since I started putting my free audio books on my mp3 player. It drowns out dh's snoring. The young lady that is readng my current book has a very soft calming voice. You would not think it was a murder mystery but it is a book that is out of copyright.

I am going to cancel my physio appointment on Friday and make it hopefully for Monday as it clashes with the funeral and I promised to look after my baby gd so they can go.

prepareathome

Grandma please get them to call the Foundation for the Study of Infant Deaths if they have not been giving information about it - the helpline is 0808 802 6868 . I helped a drive to ensure all professionals were given information to pass on to bereaved parents but this was years ago and it wouldn't surprise me if the said professionals didn't bother with this any more. I think we have become a society that must blame someone over whatever happens, no matter what it is, you crash your car - can't be your fault must be the cars, the roads, an animal etc., you fall over on the pavement it must be the councils fault or someone pushed you not just that your foot just happened to go over, a child or adult die there must be a reason and if none obvious to current testing then it must be someone's fault, not that sometimes people just die as its their time to go and so their spirit just leaves and in doing so often leaves no clues as to why. The foundation, which I have I admit not dealt with for a few years now, used to have a list of parents who had been through this who were willing to go out to visit the newly bereaved parents or give them their phone number to call them, I used to do this, but with my health problems I wasn't always at my best when someone called and it was not fair on them so stopped volunteering. I am happy for them to call me, I promise I will listen not moan if they want to talk to me. Sometimes just having someone on the end of a phone and just being silent is enough to give a smidgeon of comfort. I mean they can be silent not knowing what to say but just having someone at the other end waiting and understanding can help.

Well I certainly have got my fighting spirit back - am so angry at how I have been treated and now totally incensed at how they have treated, and your daughters friend most of all, I am just praying she can get some kind of life back after this. I was lucky with hubby and my children, he never doubted me but I know of so many families that broke up after a SIDS even children breaking with their parents as deep down they felt they must have done something.

In my first marriage I was a battered wife, only left him when daughter who was 3 weeks old and just out of hospital and he went to hit me with her in my arms, woke me up, and I will fight to help any battered wife ( we have given shelter to a few over the years and had their hubbies trying to break in) , anyone who has had a SIDS and now I will at first have to fight for myself over ESA but hopefully will help others along the way. I might moan about hubby but we have been married 31 years and he has never hit me or belittle me in any way and been there when I have needed him and me I hope for him. I am lucky found a good man and went on after daughter dying to have another wonderful child my youngest son - would I have had him if she had lived who knows and his two adorable children. I count myself very, very lucky for all I moan, my health might not be great but I can still do things for myself abet a bit erratically, if I can't then it doesn't get done till I can, can't face asking hubby to do personal things for me not yet, maybe one day, but till then I manage. Anyway side tracking myself I am really blessed with so much and if I can help anyone in any way at any time even if its just a shoulder to cry on then everyone please note I am here. Just pm any time for my details if you want them.

Hugs and Love to you allxxx

stiltwalker

Oh Grandma247 how awful, my heart goes out to your daughter's friends. I hope they find the strength and support that they need. Hugs X