A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

elizabunny

Winchelsea wrote: »

Haven't been on here lately for various reasons - can't believe we're on page 194 already - what a chatty lot!

Some of you may have seen on another thread that I, like some others, have not had a good month. My DH, who some may remember was in a nursing home with dementia, died of bronchopneumonia 3 weeks ago. He had a good Christmas, but went down with a chest infection on Dec. 28th, and gradually got worse.

We are a very strong family, and he had all of us around him for pretty much all of his last three days. He was unconscious, but I'm sure he knew we were there. The staff kept wheeling in trolleys of tea and biscuits night and day to keep us going. We did get some sleep each night - DD4 (who lives in Bath) and I had all our beds full, and more made up on floors with sofa cushions etc.

The funeral was last week, so we're getting back to normal now. It all seems unreal - I've visited that home nearly every day for the last year and a half, and still find myself planning all my jobs etc round the visit I'm expecting to make.

On the whole though I'm fine. At least he's not suffering any more, and I at least have got used to living here by myself - it must be a lot harder for widows whose husbands have always been at home with them.

Now have to get to grips with the finances - still not clear how it's all going to pan out, but don't expect to be much worse off, as have been paying nursing home fees with most of DH's pension.

Winchelsea (((((hugs)))))) :AYour sad post struck a chord with me, but also made me feel very humble. I have not had the best of year's having lost several family members and one very close to me and I have struggled. Struggled to regain my footing and struggled to appreciate the blessings in my life, which are many. I cannot begin to imagine how anyone copes with losing their DH, DW or DP. My heart goes out to you and I am so glad you have a strong family to support you through the difficult times. Thinking of you.

3v3 I didn't forget you, ((((hugs)))) for you too.

I know I am so blessed to have my DH and a loving family and sometimes I think I really just need a kick up the ***. I agree with some of the posters that exercise is good for the mind and did my now weekly jaunt yesterday which was a walk of around 8 miles. I should have done this easily but felt shattered at the end of it and was in bed by 8pm! Next weekend DS and his DP have suggested a 30 mile cycle ride:eek:.
However, I did feel fairly bright and breezy today after yesterdays walk and I won't mention the cream cake or the lump of Lardy cake that I ate when I got home (but I had carried them for 4 miles:rotfl::rotfl:)

Keep smiling posters, Spring is on the way (I think)

grandma247

Just a quick post before I shut the computer down for the night.
Hugs to all those who are going through sad, trying times.

Winchelsea

Thank you SO much for all the hugs and kind messages all you lovely people. I in my turn send ((((hugs)))) to all those who need them.

Am feeling a bit chilly now, as I turned the thermostat down on the heating half an hour ago "knowing" I would soon be going to bed, and here I still am! Last night I rigged up my spring-loaded curtain rail, holding up one of those cheap Ik*a fleeces across the front door, but forgot to put it up tonight (came in about half past nine, having spent the day at DD2's). Must remember it tomorrow, as it does cut down on the draughts.

So now off to fill my hottie and make some hot chocolate (the one from the Sa*nsb*ry's basics range - very nice, and a packet at (I think) 69p lasts me for a couple of weeks.

Catbells

Good morning all.

Winchelsea I always have a hotty when I'm on the sofa watching the telly after supper. Very cosy.

Just woken up to freezing weather and will be turning up the thermostat when I get back from the dentist.

My lodger said goodbye last night and I felt so strange and sad being left. He's been here nearly 4 years and he and his girlfriend (when she came) have been so lovely to have around. I only saw him a few times a week but it was enough to know there was 'someone else in the house'. I'm trying to be positive but goodbyes are horrible.:( Will miss the income from him too.

I'm sure the dentist will put a smile on my face this morning:)

Hope everyone has a good week and wraps up warm in and out of the house. xx

GFN123

Morning All

Don't get a chance to pop in at weekends so had a long catch up to do.

Winchelsea and 3V3 - so sorry for your losses and thank you for sharing your thoughts, which have certainly inspired me, not least to buck up and be very grateful for what I have.

Smileyt - I hope your lovely pooch is ok. My best friend's little dog has been quite poorly this weekend. As I am very close to her and love him too I've been sharing the worry but he seems to have perked up. I don't have any animals at the moment, but am an animal lover and know the joy plus heartbreak they can bring.

((Hugs)) to anyone and everyone else who needs them.

Well, it freezing cold here although bright. I will admit to feeling much cheered up at the moment though. Went out on Sat night for a friend's do who is moving to London shortly (he moves in here temporarily on Weds which will be a squash but fun!). It cost us a bomb - dinner, drinks and then out dancing, but I bopped my little socks off and laughed all night with my crowd of close friends, which was precisely the medicine I needed

Sunday saw me bravely battle the hangover and....... we got the sideboard finished and it looks fab :jWe then reorganised all the kitchen cupboards, in turn creating lots of space for [STRIKE]hoarding[/STRIKE] storage

Today is the long awaited Aldi-voucher-shop (told you I was sad!) as we are running low and there are NO bananas for my breakfast. I make up smoothies with frozen berries, 'nanas, oats and yoghurt and they keep me full till lunch. I'm not much of a breakfast eater but can drink one of these rather than eating junk at work.

I am not looking forward to the cold snap, not least as I was happy we had got away with barely turning on the heating. I'm very lucky as the flat is well insulated, double glazed and the boiler is newish and efficient but the lounge/diner is a large open plan space which tends to feel pretty cold so will need it on more as it cools down.

A busy week ahead as aforementioned friend moves in on Weds (with his lovely cat - yay!) and we need to clear out the spare/junk room for him plus help him move his stuff up. Of course this coincides with me actually being busy at work so will be hectic.

I hope everyone has a good day and is not too chilly. I think I'm going to have 'dress creatively' as it bloomin' freezing but my office is a furnace!

D&DD

Winchelsea I'm so sorry to hear your news hun I'm glad that the family managed to have xmas together XX
3v3 hope things look a bit brighter for you today too XX

I would send some energy out to those poorly and needing a lift but I'm knackered myself so will send a hug instead

Freezing here today and the dogs sitting looking at me waiting for her walk..just deciding how many layers I can fit in under me coat before I go.

Washing done and put away and have MrT delivery at 10.Middly son has gone on work experience oop town so excuse me while I panic all day:eek: and when I panic I clean which ain't such a bad thing :rotfl:
Hope none of you are buried in snow this morning XX

katieowl_2

GFN123 wrote: »

Today is the long awaited Aldi-voucher-shop (told you I was sad!) as we are running low...

LOL Today is the Mr T -voucher-shop day here! I decided I didn't need to spend £70 between Mr T AND Ald! to get £10 off...I opted for Mr T as they have some stuff I need that Ald! doesn't. The fridge is pretty empty, so I think this morning the first job will be to give it a good clean out.

I'm sitting here this morning eating my porridge made with the milk I bought home from work Saturday. When we closed down at the end of the day, there were two jugs of steamed milk left and I couldn't bear to chuck it away. I washed out an empty milk bottle and bought it home to make another rice pudding or something. It was fine in my porridge. (I'm allowed to make such executive decisions BTW )

I had to moan at DS again this morning to make him get up, even though it was OH's 'day' to deal with him, as OH just doesn't get on his case enough to get him out of bed! It's infuriating that we have to do this at his age, but I refuse point blank to ever give him the ammo to say that the fact that he never amounted to anything was lack of effort on my part. But it really is doing my head in! :mad:

All the men in this house are *'ing useless. Yesterday - for the second time this week, the phone rang early evening, I'm sitting with my laptop and two dogs draped over bits of me, and OH is sitting un-encumbered in a chair near by. "Are you going to get that?" I ask "No - It won't be for me" he replies. So I struggled up shedding dogs and accoutrements to pick up the phone, saying as I pass that I shall do assault and battery with the handset if it IS for him...Guess what? It WAS for HIM *Eyeroll* and I stomp off into the kitchen and say to DD "Can you tell my WHY it's MY job to ALWAYS answer the phone" She said "Mum, it's because you were born with a v****a" :rotfl: I shall miss her terribly when she goes back to Uni on Friday. She keeps me sane!

We might swing past the craft shop in Fishguard on Thursday, so if you are around Mrs Chips...maybe you fancy meeting us for tea there?

Kate

prepareathome

D&#8517 wrote: »

I would send some energy out to those poorly and needing a lift but I'm knackered myself so will send a hug instead

Sending you ( and others who need it) energy and healing thoughts and lots of big squashy hugs.

kidcat

Morning all, its cold but bright here today which is much more cheery than cold and wet!!

Today is the big day, we have waited so long but am really nervous. DS7 will officially receive his diagnosis of autism today. And whilst I have been pushing to get it for the sake of his education I have a feeling when its all official I will probably cry. Full of nerves and cant settle to anything.
Thankfully my friend has just called to say she will call in for coffee so have had a kick to tidy around and throw hoover over kitchen

Weather forecasts here are showing a really cold spell I believe so am really glad to have got prepared - although had to de-ice the new car inside and out this morning - it was valeted on Saturday by dealer so is still drying!!

Sending huge hugs to all - remember - this too will pass!!! Have a great day;)

lizzyb1812

Seems like a bad time for many on here - I wish you peace and hope you find at least a bit of brightness in the day.

katieowl wrote: »

I had to moan at DS again this morning to make him get up, even though it was OH's 'day' to deal with him, as OH just doesn't get on his case enough to get him out of bed! It's infuriating that we have to do this at his age, but I refuse point blank to ever give him the ammo to say that the fact that he never amounted to anything was lack of effort on my part. But it really is doing my head in! :mad:

I don't know how old your son is, but when my oldest brother was going to college my mum had the same thing with him. So one morning she went into his room when he was "asleep" and took his bedclothes - pillow, duvet and blanket. When he stomped into the kitchen moaning all she said was that they would discuss it that evening. The discussion amounted to her telling him if he was old enough to go to college he was old enough to get himself up and she was no longer responsible for waking him - if there were consequences to him being late (which she described in great detail) then they were his responsibility. She finished off with something like "you keep telling me you're an adult now - so prove it". He was the perfect timekeeper for a week then slipped but she stuck to her guns, he got a telling off at college and never missed again. She did feel guilty to start with but that soon passed as it became clear that brother liked being treated like an adult and responded well to it.

Think I'd better go and put another layer of clothes on - I'm off dogwalking now and it's freezing here!