A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

wen3

Morning All

Hope everyone is okay I am feeling better today, just as well as I am driving to Cornwall on the morning for a few days away. We are taking MIL and FIL as well and staying in a cottage. Have been out this morning and brought a few provisions to see us through.

Byatt

wen3 wrote: »

Morning All

Hope everyone is okay I am feeling better today, just as well as I am driving to Cornwall on the morning for a few days away. We are taking MIL and FIL as well and staying in a cottage. Have been out this morning and brought a few provisions to see us through.

How lovely Wen, I hope you have a great time. Cornwall is the county next to me! I love Cornwall, always feel like it's my spiritual home as it has a language similar to Welsh.

mumto2monkeys_2

gardenia101 wrote: »

Why don't you just take a step back & think about how the last 12 months have been - you've said that it was "draining" so I think you deserve a rest (as much as you can while orrying about working & having family life, never mind what your DD is going through). Do you need to do anything or do you just feel that you "should be doing something" because you have a few minutes where you are not rushing about?

What about reading a particular book (I keep putting off Middlemarch - it is big enough anyway but imagine how huge the book is in large print ...) or finishing a craft/gardening/OS project? I used to love cross stitch as it really did empty my mind & make me switch off. I can do a bit, but I have to hold it so close to my eye I'm sure I'm going to do myself a mischief with the needle :rotfl:. Now I get a pre-loaded playaway book from the library (there may be a charge but its free for me as I'm PS) & I go for a long walk around the streets where it is flat but boring - hence the playaway {sounds a bit rude :rotfl:}.

You don't need to apologise for venting - that is why we are all here.

I've emailed the WI to see if my local groups have any spaces. Sadly my nearest is evenings only, but I can get to a few that have daytime meetings.

Not heard back from the volunteering posts I applied for, so I'll chase that up tomorrow.

Fellpony - so sorry for your loss. Life is truly rubbish sometime. Hugs.

Thank you for this gardenia. I want to start walking, although it will be put off for another week as I now have a poorly DS to contend with! If it isn't one, it's the other. I remember reading Middlemarch as part of my degree. I didn't mind it, but it's long. I'm currently attempting to read Cold Comfort Farm when I get a minute as I never have, but many people say it's great. I've also just taken up sewing again after years. I find that soothing. However, some days I can't do anything - taken over by crappy depression .

I just keep telling myself this too shall pass, and it will all work out in the end.

Byatt

>>For those with family problems - ie you are the one everyone comes to for help when things go wrong, but when you need help all you get is criticised either that you are a bad manager, your husband should be in a better paid job, you give into your kids and are not strict enough with them ( from family whose children are basically drop outs and yours have got to university), you have just let yourself go, if you had married/stayed married to such and such you would be in a far nicer house, your self because your child/OH is ill and you cannot drop everything to go and help them with their sick child/minor crisis etc etc - the list can go on, ring any bells anyone.<<

Exactly...prepare at home. I was from a young age, the one the family relied on, but as soon as I needed help...well...enough said.

gailey_2

Families are so compliacted.

My biological father died last year after not seeing him for 20years.
My aunt(his sister rang out of blue after 5years no contact to say he was very ill.
I did decide to be the bigger person and visited him in hospital he was out of it and dident know I was there as knew it meant something to my aunt.
But when he did pass i couldent make the funural and do not see the point.
I do have half brother never met but he was on holiday so he dident go.
he knows of my existanc.

I did feel sad that dident get chance to discuss things.

My mum and sister are very close
my sisters always been the favourite
they very similar selfish and stubborn plus neatfreaks.
Always felt on outside and can handle them in small doses.
I love them and apart from critical of parenting/house they not bad people just misguided.

Hubbys brothers been useless latly no contact not even a card.
I know hubbys upset but does not want to create a row.

my great aunt died end of 2010 and she was demanding.
My nan seemed to keep family together but after she passed things crumbled.
Us younger generation moved away and started new lives/familys and relationships of our own.
because of distance we infrequently all meet up so when we do I enjoy it as as im not close im never asked to help.

My mil lives local and shes needed support since fil passed.
so locally its really my freinds who I rely on hence why been so upset about freind as she was here when youngest was born.

Im quite private person due to past family issues found it hard to trust people.
I never been one with huge group of freinds just select few i really get on with well.
So for me to open up and let someone new in was big thing and now shes abandoned me when I needed her makes me feel betrayed.I will try be bigger person as hate bad feelings/rows but may keep my distance further. my problem is find hard to say no when people ask for help.

Its like oldstyle therepy on here sorry.

I havent achived much today as not had much sleep.
watching kirsty handmade on planner
feel quite envious as would love to find more time for hobbies its one of my missions this year.

so with that in mind trying to find freinds that fit my current life and future plans not live in past and be freinds through obligation.

I need to be brave and join wi

but looked and confused so many near me how do I know which is best?
how do they differ? will i be youngest there ?
also is it just 1day a month? seems to be.
what kind of things do they do in 2hours.
will I learn fab new skills.

going to dust off my sewing machine later
tempted to try few flower ararnging courses this year
also want to master the art of cakes.

so much want to do so little time.

aiming to make 1 thing -gift /house a week so least 52 over year.
want to do homebrewing on bigger scale
need to make time for foraging
master presetves.

would love to enter a show.

any fellow welshies remember eisteddford at school.
where we hqad to compete in comps on st davids day
best minature garden
best handwriting
best painting

2011 for me is is about balancing everything and being happy.

waffling again best go do some housework

tink1981_2

Happy New Year everyone :beer: having a morning catching up on what's happened on the thread since I've been away... 20 pages to go :eek: think more tea may be required!!

GreyQueen wrote: »

Hey, I may not be able to stretch to a couple of drinkies in the pub and a cinema ticket but I can fit a couple of pals on the sofa and we can watch a DVD on my pooter monitor (17.5 inch screen and a kickass soundsystem ) and scoff pringles and have supermarket bottled beer and a laugh.

There's plenty of stuff to do in the warmer weather inc mad hatter's teaparties on my allotment and we can always climb on the pushbikes and wobble a few miles out into the countryside and scare a squirrel or two. Ultimately, it's about the people not the venue and the trappings

GQ - wanted the say a big thank you for this it's really struck a cord with me. I'm still trying to adjust since our move back in June and have been worrying about how to keep things going with friends now the pennies are tighter and we're further away from them. Have been talking to DH about it and we're going to suggest setting up a cinema club to some of our friends where we take it in turns to go to each others houses for a movies, drinkies and nibbles.

Starting to feel a bit more possitive about things :j I will make this work!!

tink x

SDG31000

Good morning everyone

Thank you all so much for the advice and sharing of stories. It has really helped to know that I'm not alone and that many have it worse than me. I know that the birth of my nephew has brought I lot of things to the surface that I have never dealt with and have agreed with DH that I will be seeking help to deal with them once DS1 and DS2 are back at school next week.

Well I called my sister this morning and told her that I wasn't happy about them not calling DS2. I was told that they had forgotten. I stated how I felt and then dropped it and talked about the rest of the family. In reply I got a text message saying that DS1 and DS2 hadn't thanked her for their presents and how was that meant to make her feel. I went to my friend Marie's and had a bit of a sob and then sent back a message saying that I didn't want to argue with her, that I had thanked her on the boys behalf, that they are teenagers and barely notice anything around them and that I was just sticking up for my son as she would do for hers. No reply to that, but my Mom did phone DS2 and apologise for not calling him yesterday. We will see what happens when their presents arrive. They are meant to be dropped off today, so time will tell.
The rest of today will be taken up with looking after DS1, DS2, Marie's twin daughters and her grandson as Marie's other daughter/grandson's Mom has to go into the hospital. I get the feeling that lots of fairy cakes will be made, covered in lots of sprinkles and eaten.
Thanks again everyone. Time to go and work out what to feed the masses

sammy_kaye18

FAMILY ISSUES AND TOXIC FRIENDS

Most of you have heard my family saga especially regarding my sister.

My mum, sister and two nieces live approximately 30 minutes from me. My boyfriend works in the same office as my mother in that he has to walk past her desk every day about 10+ times. The last time I saw my mum was in October 2011, same for my sister, I sw my nieces in........August? Maybe if not before that.
My grandparents on my mums side - I havent seen, spoken to or aknowledged them in 8 years, when I was pregnant with Ben at 19 - despite me being her first grand baby my nan turned very abusive - I was stupid, immature, Id be a rubbish mother, they'd take the baby as I wouldnt be able to cope, Id be walking the floor, and to help teach me a valuable world/life lesson they encouraged my mum to kick me out at Christmas and 5.5 months pregnant and move my partner in - despite me being unemployed. Thank God My Mother In Law is an absolute saint and took me in.

Although when my sister got pregnant with her eldest T, her boyfriend was a drug addict, they had their house raided by the drug squad, she was out all hours of the night partying and we werent 100% whos the baby was.......but they helped and encouraged her no end. :huh: then to top that off when she gave up custody of her second daughter to the father - there was no law proceedings or anything - he basically said he wanted her as he didn't feel my sister was caring for her appropriately - she agreed with no arguments and just let him take her.
And for that my nan sent her on holiday to Tenerife with a mate. :eek::eek::eek:

and then there was the christmas she got stuck in the USA - Ive still had no thanks for that.

My dads side however I adore. Very much I stick with my dads side of the family and my sister sticks with my mums.

As for toxic friends ~ I have possibly 3 close friends who I have known since school who I could just turn up and be welcomed in with loving arms or just walk in and make myself at home. I have a few acquaintances but I tend to like being by myself but having people I can talk to if I need to

Well impressed - jsut had an email to say Ive made myself £17.50 worth of cashback on GP - bargain!

also I think my friends officially think Ive gone off the deep end after they caught me buying gardeners world magazine in Mr T! After much reassurance that I am in fact 27 I politely explained over a cup of tea that with the price hikes it would benefit me and my family to have a) nutritional fresh veg on the doorstep. b)my purse as I wouldn't be having to catch buses into town to buy veg and c)my health as Id get fresh air and exercise in the garden.

Plus I happened to point out it has a good segment on potato growing and a handy veg year planner which is what I need! So Im looking forward to snuggling up with a cup of tea and mr titchmarsh later! Although Im pretty sure the boyfriend will be concerned.

Windy as flip here today and now that babe is in bed and I have been to Mr T I now have bread flour and yeast back in my cupboard as well as condensed milk as Im planning on using the link someone on here posted to 'like my nan use to make' site and make her jam drops. So I will be firmly back on the band wagon asap

Also can I ask for SUGGESTIONS please.

Owen is wanting to eat healthy but at the minute he goes into work, and he likes the idea of meals - like that tinned curry stuff etc that he can heat up and then sit dipping rolls in - but not soup - and he wants more meals like that. Any ideas??? I was buyign him (I know its awful) the ready made italian/pasta meals for Iceland that are £1 each as I know he can make/cook them quickly in his short break he gets and I figure if I bake my own rolls then it would be cheaper too but Im stuck on what to give him - Im thinking along the lines of stew but not sure what else!

Possession

Reading through here I realise I'm very lucky to have great parents and sister, and equally great parents-in-law. I must treasure them more.

Bobbykins

Just back online after New Year hibernation and it's going to take me an age to catch up properly. Have skimmed the last few pages and just wanted to say to all of you with family/friends problems how my heart really hurts for you all.

You made me realise how very, very lucky I was to have a close relationship with my late parents and also my late brother. OK my brother and I used to argue as kids but once we became adults we were fortunate that we seemed to really like each other as people and I can honestly say that he and my SIL were our best friends. How I miss him and my parents now but I am thankful to have had them for the time that I did and must remember to count that as a blessing rather than dwell on the sadness of losing them.

Well, back to frugality with a VERY lean January ahead. I know it's not the best way of using my T*sco vouchers but I had £32 in vouchers which I have just used towards my main monthly shop. I managed to do a bit of a storecupboard stock-up and get the month's staples for the princely sum of £20 cash plus the vouchers.

So I only have fresh stuff to buy now for the month, I usually use Aldi for this, and I need to spend about £20 at the butcher's - we only eat meat 3 or 4 times a week, the rest of the time we eat veggie. So it looks manageable provided we don't have any emergencies, keeping my fingers crossed that my careful budgeting works out.

Right, off to make a fresh cuppa and start catching up properly on everyone's posts. In the meantime, (((hugs))) to all who need/want them.