A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

witchwoopiggy

sorry for all the loses and illness :hugs: thinking of you all x

sorry for being mia little grand daughter was rushed into hosptial shes only 4 months and parents were in a right panic, luckly it was just gastroenteritis and shes now on the mend.

on the subject of toxtic friends and family,

I helped my mum look after my dad when he was ill with cancer, up untill he died as well as looked after my two children , it wasent easy but we managed i was 20 when he died on xmas day . Mums family didnt want to know or help nor did dads family. four months after dad died i found out i had cancer again no one helped i was on my own , however i didnt tell me mum as i figured it would finish her off with worry, she didnt find out untill i had to go into hosptial for hysterectomy and i needed some one to look after my children. Again no help other than mum, family even told my children that it was my fault i got cancer cause i was a bad person. Fast forward a few years and mum got very ill ended up in a wheel chair lots of problems , 4 strokes etc and cue me looking after mum daily, as well as trying to run my own home and look after children. Dads family by now had disapeared and had nothing to do with either me or mum. Mums family would come to vist complain i was doing it all wrong , should put mum in home and end up making mum cry, and i all this i kept my mouth shut for mum. Then i met a lovely man, who understood mum was ill and i didnt really have time for him, but we were happy with the short times we got, still mums family moaned. Then mum was taken very ill on xmas day and was rushed into hosptial sadly she never came out, cue the whole family arrived to try and take over everything, was even asked to change funeral day as one had the carpet fitters coming , my hubby encoraged me to stick to what i wanted , and had suport from my one RL friend whom i met via hubby to do the same. SO i did, it was not liked.Most of the family have never seen me since infact they dont even know where i live, the few that stuck on for a while didnt agree with me marring hubby so not long after marrage they disapeared and moved, thank god. My life has been more peacful and happier since. Sadly hubby became ill 6 months after we married and now i care for him, but i love him deaply and lets be honest after all my life of caring for others i will say im good at it i never miss any off my so called family and would not give them house room let alone a cupper but im happy with my life just wish i had the courage to say and do something years ago and would encourage anyone to do the same life is short and we never know what is around the corrner live it for yourself please dont spend years not, then one day looking back and going why didnt i do something sooner.

sorry if this is just a load of woffle i have never been very good at putting personal feelings either into written words or spoken ones.

rosieben

Byatt wrote: »

...Wen, did you find out how to see avatar's? It's lovely seeing them all!

wen and anyone else who can't see avatars, have a read here
(sorry missed your original question wen)

paidinchickens

witchwoo can't believe you didn't swap the funeral day when you knew your family member had carpet fitters coming :rotfl::rotfl: I can't believe (well I can really) that someone would stand there with a straight face and say that :eek:

PIC x

short_bird

Oh yes. Anything is possible:D Liberated from a skip today, on the way to 2 for 1 Orange Wed showing of Sherlock Holmes:
One slightly used Ikea throw
12 bottles of beer, in date
One of those thermal coffee mugs, BNIB
2 of those sports bags with cord handles to go over both shoulders
A number of new paper carrier bags - ironically, advertising a recycling website

Since we were on the bus, and it was raining when we left the cinema, we decided not to take the Ikea chair.:D

Will have a look at the family stories later.

Byatt

>>sorry if this is just a load of woffle i have never been very good at putting personal feelings either into written words or spoken ones. <<

No, not waffle witchwoo, very moving. Thank you for sharing. And you are so right, life it short. :A

wen3

Thank you can now see avatars:j:j

I would like to thank everyone who has shared a story. If you are anything like me you start to think it is you that is wrong and question what you are doing. I must admit I think you get to a point where you just cannot take anymore and a line has to be drawn. I did this with my Mum and told her to get out of my house I told my Dad he was more than welcome in my house but she wasan't. I did not stop my DD from seeing her but I would not go in, just drop her off and go. We did start talking after about 2 years but she never again came to my house. She died 4 years ago my daughter misses her terribly. I told my Dad a long time ago 'She is my mum and I will only have one of them and I do love her but I do not like her'.

Onto nicer things I will be missing for a few days from tomorrow, sunning myself in Cornwall:rotfl::rotfl:will be a little strange as we aren't taking any of the dogs like we normally do, but I am sure it will be relaxing (I hope).

Byatt - I haven't forgotton about the goodies just haven't had time with being unwell and going away but I will do it when I get back

Margaret54

Hi sleepy_lady Don't know how to maxamise the vouchers, sorry but just wanted to say hello:)

Fervent37

Good afternoon all. Have just caught up with all posts since yesterday afternoon and they again bear out how supportive this thread is. As has been said, it isn't easy or pleasant to walk away from 'toxic' friends and relatives but at times it has to be done. Sadly, speaking from experience but nowhere as bad or sad as some of the situations and reasons for doing so that I have just read.

Hope tonight's forecasted weather doesn't cause you all any problems. We appear to be in the firing line for 60mph winds and it hasn't stopped raining since 11.00am this morning. Will have a glass of red wine later - it helps calm the nerves!

mumto2monkeys_2

Everything is so much more exciting now I can see avatars! Thanks :beer:

kidcat

mumto2monkeys wrote: »

Everything is so much more exciting now I can see avatars! Thanks :beer:

I felt like that when I finally discovered them too!!
:rotfl: