A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

prepareathome

You all going on about the WI is getting me going, I have twice in past few years emailed them about local group and when its held, there is not one in the city I live in which is so hard to believe but as I live right on the border ( front garden fence is the border so across the road pay a lot less in council tax than me and far better services :mad: ) but it does mean the local group there is not that far away. I know its a Tuesday night but I cannot remember where its held or which Tuesday so going to email them again and this time go - third time the charm.

I have let my health rule my life far to long and let everything go, friends, figure, house you name it I have become totally lazy yet I know if I really want to do something I can I proved that getting out Christmas Eve. Ok I pay for it afterwards with pain and exhaustion but its worth it, as I am so bored, but so bored I end up doing nothing as its to much trouble even when feeling not to bad. Friends have given up and its all my own fault as I had a few good ones who would have visited me but I was always feel I have a big sign over my head unreliable so I have past few years been pushing people away. So I think tomorrow I will get out my phone book and make some calls to these friends, they might not want to speak to me but that will be my fault - one called last week when I was out and I still have not called her back.

Past 4 winters I have suffered severe depression, comes on in Jan and goes like magic at end of March - have a night when I want to end it all and after that puff its gone and I am fine, so am determined this year not to let it take hold and give in to pain, exhustion ok I cannot do anything about, if I am stuck in bed unable to move I am stuck but other times pain can be really bad, but its only pain and it isn't going to kill me, so long as its anywhere bar my head I can do some things.

You girls are a breath of fresh air for this auld gal you really are, all your struggles with money and young families makes me realise just how lazy I have become, won't say selfish as I know I am not that would still do anything for anyone if they need help or lend etc.

So I have joined sw and am actually a stone lighter than I thought I was ( not that it makes much difference), joined the Frump to Fab challenge, going to go to WI and dare I say this you will think I am totally off my head ( well I am shhhhh just don't tell any one. A centre not far from here where classes are run and has a library has a 5 week drama course starting week after next, you have to sign up next Monday and as I am sure it will be overrun I will have to be there as soon as the place opens, but secretly in my heart I have always wanted to have a go at acting. Its only £10 for the 5 weeks as its run by the Education Dept, I only found out as was looking to see if any sewing classes my way, as usual none they seem to think our end of the city doesn't need classes for much and was amazed to see this. Wanted to at school but I was in School Orchestra as I played the clarinet and so couldn't do both as we played at the school shows.

So what do you think they will make of this 55 year old fat frump of a woman turning up. This is a woman who spent a good part of today in bed as she was tired just going to SW last night, but I can do it. Its only two hours on a Wednesday. Hubby just looked at me when I told him and said why not do swimming to help you lose weight ( my hubby is a very visual guy, he sees only the outside and as he has told me on quite a few occasions I am fat and he doesn't like it, not that he is mr perfect with his bald head, and fat tummy but still skinny everywhere else but I still see the guy I married and to me he is still the most handsome guy there is, even though I nearly kicked him out for good last May). I do want to go back to swimming but can only go to a warm pool and only swim for me is at 8.30pm and not quite up to that yet, when days are longer hopefully. Secret of my long marriage ( 32 years this year) is we live in same house but live our own lives and rarely the twain do meet. He doesn't like it when I start trying to improve myself as he would go out every night if he had a bowls game but otherwise he likes to stay in and watch tv ( even the kids tell him he is 57 not 97) in the past I let him talk me into not doing things but now I feel its time for me to do something, or at least try, if I find my health will not stand up to it ok at least I have tried......

Tomorrow I am buying a replacement treadmill, mine gave up the ghost last year, had, had it years and was so good as could pop on it for 5 mins if that was all I could manage and at least still was doing SOME exercise. So jiggled the finances and have ordered one from Argos and only one left to collect tomorrow ( payday). Its just a manual as that is fine for walking, I doubt I will ever be running on it.

So girls if I can find the get up and go to try things and I am the lazy queen now I know you can all get out there and make new friends easy peasy. Just let the past go, take just what you have learned from it and know tomorrow is a new day.

So now I have publicly stated my intentions I better act on them ( no pun intended) hadn't I.


Right going to cleanse and moisturise my face - my skin doesn't know what has hit it as apart from some cream if I have a patch of Eczema it never gets anything except water on it. Only saving grace is I have high cheek bones like my mum so no wrinkles as yet, but I bet when they come they will with a vengeance, mum never had any till the day she died at 81 and everyone always thought she was 30 years younger than she was.

Hugs to all

kidcat

prepareathome- you go girl!!!

tink1981_2

OMG!!! :eek: :eek: :eek: What is going on with this weather????!!!

Just got back from walking to dog and I know it's probably silly but I actually got quite scared the street lights are swaying like no bodys business and we had to dodge 2 flying wheelie bins on the little loop we did. Quite glad pup got what he needed to do over and done quick so we could head back.

Think hot choc in deffinately in order before hiding under the duvet!!

Keep safe everyone x

prepareathome

Jeepers tink you were brave, I am just glad its hubby not me who has to be out at 6am.

I said I am not selfish in previous post but I am never have I said how sorry I am for losses, illness or op or whatever and am sorry, I do send healing thoughts and put you all in my prayers but when it comes to posting to full of me, which is all hot air, so sending each and everyone one of you loving thoughts ...still not sent that email to WI have to find out the cost as well as must remember income going to go down not up so got to cut my cloth etc.......wind certainly not easing. Dogs asked to go out, stood by back door looked out and walked back in again, I don't have the heart to make them go out there as a lot of my pots are in a nice pile and still moving and they are only wee doggies, a strong gust could have them half way down the street.

Hugs

meanmarie

Prepareathome....good on you! Best of luck with all your endeavours

Marie

bluebag

mardatha wrote: »

Life is too bloody short to bother about silly people. I concentrate on my own business and try to help where I can. And never ever, deliberately hurt anybody's feelings. Thats my number one no-no in life!
Wind is doing its best here to work itself up to yesterday's levels. Am so sick and tired of BLOODY WIND.

Been thinking of you in all that wind, told my OH you are like an early warning indicator for the rest of us! Take care man, it's wild out there.

THIRZAH

Prepareathome

WI subs are going up to £30.50 this year. You should be able to attend up to three meetings without joining to see if you like it.

If they don't get back to you the information about meeting times should be on the NFWI website somewhere.

taurusgb

Wind blowing like a demon here in the midlands. I'm still sitting in bed resting - I'm starting to feel very frustrated at my inability to do anything very much. Keep telling myself I've had major surgery with added complications so recovery is going to be a slow progression, but it doesn't stop me wanting to do all the re-organising and decluttering I have in mind

Have so far spent NOTHING yet this year :j, but need to do a shopping list for DH as we are now running very low on fresh fruit and vegetables. I'm trying to organise the family to cook meals using up what is in the small chest freezer (they have all become adept at cooking while I've been ill but aren't yet at the point where they can dicide WHAT to cook) so that it can be defrosted and refilled. It's quite hard as I have no appetite so visualising meals is difficult as I keep feeling sick when I think of food.

Oldest DD is driving ove to see me today - 75 miles so I hope she stays safe in the horrid weather. So looking forward to seeing her.

Bad day yesterday so haven't read the latest coule of days posts - off to read them now before I get up. Hope everyone has a good day

VJsmum

Mooooorrrrrnnnniiiinnnnngggg!!!

Poor DD not well - dicky tum - so i am working at home today. She was on her own for a lot of yesterday and as I can be at home, I will. I am lucky that work is flexible enough to be able to do that, with the added bonus of no train fare / petrol.

My goodness we had an absolute hoolie of a breeze through here just now, with added sleet / hail. I imagine DS is now soaked to the bone as it would have caught him halfway to school. Luckily he seems to have realised that wearing a coat keeps you drier and warmer :T, there was a time that he would have just been in his sweatshirt :eek: It was as black as your hat earlier (do you have a black hat? ) but day broke the minute the "storm" passed over. Strange times.

Decluttering is ongoing and so is eating the freezer challenge. Vegetable lasagne tonight, which is one i'd made when daughters veggie friends came for a pre christmas "christmas dinner" but they just ate the roast without the meat, so the whole lasagne was left. Kids are having "grandad pie" - which is a kind of corned beef hash that my dad used to make them. If they'd known corned beef was in it, they wouldn't have eaten it :rotfl: Fortunately / Unfortunately one tin of corned beef usually makes 3 portions, so the lasagne comes out and a portion of grandad pie goes in. Damned freezer will never be empty. Someone on the declutter thread has TWO EMPTY FREEZER DRAWERS :eek: seriously jealous. Not even one BUT TWO!! That's just taking the mick

I looked up WI's last night , but all of our local ones have meetings on days / times that i can't get to. I'll just have to stick to the mum's curry night once a month for now.

I was also inspired by this thread to text some non-toxic friends and we are hopefully going to have a meet up later on in the month. I was hoping to persuade them to come here for a meal so that i can use my whoopsied M&S beef joint (not any whoopsied beef joint ..) with sticky toffee pud after, that are both clogging up the freezer, but one friend is insistent that it is her turn.

Glad I told DD not to set her alarm as she is still asleep and so obviously is too poorly for school. Trouble is the CH switch is in her room and the house is cooling rapidly. Time for a coffee I think.

S'laters

sammy_kaye18

Morning all

Well I was in the doghouse last night due to me looking at another job online.
It was for 20 hours a week in the local hospital as an evening records clerk so I'd of worked from 5 - 9pm Monday to Friday and would have been bringing in £510+ a month in wages but boyfriend went nuts, said I couldn't work it as he didn't finish every other week until 5pm so wouldn't be home in time, said he'd only see me for an hour in the evenings and I was selfish as he's stopped working every Saturday (he works every other now) so he can spend time with us. We never do anything though and most his Saturday is spent playing games on facebook, sleeping, out motorcrossing with his friends or picking his other son up........so how that is quality time with us I have no idea.
So needless to say I didnt even finish reading the application - I just went to bed.

Fed up because this is a man who said if I had/found a better paying job than he has then we'd swap places and he'd stay home to look after the kids etc. Clearly that wont happen then so going to see if I can maybe craft a few things and sell them on. Have been sellign on a few unneeded competition wins on ebay so suppose I'll try and supplement my income with things like that and my couponing which I seem to be getting good at thankfully.

Feeling rather deflumped today - not sure if its the weather or last night but just feel a bit down so decided to have a day baking - might make some fruit loaf, cheese twists, some cakes, flapjacks and try a new recipe for jam drops which look nice.

oh and I need to clean too and then go to work for 5pm.