A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

SDG31000

Happy Birthday kimsmum _party_

I'm going through the same thing today, but it is DS2's 13th birthday. I'm sure my family has put cards in the post, but not one of them has bothered phoning him or getting in touch. To say I'm fuming is a mild understatement, especially after the emotional blackmail I suffered after not being able to get hold of my Mom on Christmas morning.
I left a message with my BIL that wasn't passed on and got it in the neck the next day. Cue 20 minutes of grovelling on my part trying to pacify DM and explain what happened. I'm sick of it, I can't remember the last time she phoned me and I'm tired of feeling like a second thought at best.
I'm tired of hearing about all the stuff DM is doing for my sister and Dnephew. I know I live 55 miles away, but I went through hell with PND and she never came over to help. Even when everyone was scared that I was going to kill myself and DS1 and DS2.
I suffered through 8 years of emotional, physical and mental abuse at the hands of my brother and Mom didn't stop it. I'm the one that bears the physical and mental scars, but no apology or explaination has ever been offered. I'm still dealing with the effects my childhood/teenage years had on me and it never should have happened.
So tomorrow I'm going to try to not let all of this out in one mad rant at my Mom. Wish me luck please

Sorry for the rant. I really didn't mean to, but somehow I had to let it out without ruining DS2's birthday.

Now to go and make pizza and then eat pac man birthday cake.

decogecko

GreyQueen wrote: »

That was me. I nearly got caught out at the beginning of 2011, they had the gardening stuff out on 2nd Jan when I was expecting half-price Xmas stuff, and it had been and gone by the time one would have expected to find it. I was in P0undland yesterday, too, getting my red and white onion sets. It's always struck me as a bit of a swizz that red onions are dearer to buy as greengrocery items than white ones because they are certainly no harder to grow.

Red Onion Relish Finely chop one red onion, stir in teaspoon of honey, serve as a side dish or as part of a buffet and bask in the compliments. This is something I worked out all on my ownsome and friends love it. It's so cheap and so easy it's almost embarrassing.:o

:T Thank you GQ for the p0undland tip off and the receipe!

Well I heard back from my local WI and they have 8 people leaving but only 5 on the waiting list so may get in - so just email/call your local branch and see how you get on.

Kimsmum - Happy Birthday
MT2M - so sorry to hear about your daughter's battle, positive thoughts and best wishes coming over t'web.
Fellpony - as others have said words are inadequate x

Put my old BM on freecycle (was a very lucky girl and got a panny for Christmas) why do people waste your time and say they'll come and get it and then not show up. I'm giving it away for free, what more do they want - moon on a stick!

x

kidcat

Kimsmum - happy birthday enjoy the chocolate!!

SDG - happy birthday to your DD too, I think the advice given to gailey applies just as much to you, move on, let them make the running- and if they dont, walk away. I know its easier said than done, but having walked away from a complete life and its occupants, the stress just falls away even stress you didnt know you had.

gardenia101

mumto2monkeys wrote: »

It's interesting reading about people thinking of joining WI. I've been considering having a go. I'm 32. I don't mix well, and I don't have many friends. I thought it might get me out a bit. I did join PTA for a bit for the same reason, but it's been disbanded.

DD went back to school today, and already her joints are hurting her. I think I might be kidding myself that she'll ever be up to full time school whilst on chemo. It is not boding well for my job.

I feel so fed up at the moment; I'm struggling to know what to do with myself. The past 12 months have been so draining. I was totally on track with my job, earning decent money, had family life organised, and now I'm in some kind of limbo just praying that the cancer stays away from DD. It's horrible.

Sorry for vent.

Why don't you just take a step back & think about how the last 12 months have been - you've said that it was "draining" so I think you deserve a rest (as much as you can while orrying about working & having family life, never mind what your DD is going through). Do you need to do anything or do you just feel that you "should be doing something" because you have a few minutes where you are not rushing about?

What about reading a particular book (I keep putting off Middlemarch - it is big enough anyway but imagine how huge the book is in large print ...) or finishing a craft/gardening/OS project? I used to love cross stitch as it really did empty my mind & make me switch off. I can do a bit, but I have to hold it so close to my eye I'm sure I'm going to do myself a mischief with the needle :rotfl:. Now I get a pre-loaded playaway book from the library (there may be a charge but its free for me as I'm PS) & I go for a long walk around the streets where it is flat but boring - hence the playaway {sounds a bit rude :rotfl:}.

You don't need to apologise for venting - that is why we are all here.

I've emailed the WI to see if my local groups have any spaces. Sadly my nearest is evenings only, but I can get to a few that have daytime meetings.

Not heard back from the volunteering posts I applied for, so I'll chase that up tomorrow.

Fellpony - so sorry for your loss. Life is truly rubbish sometime. Hugs.

tudorfan22

Kimsmum wrote: »

Fellpony, Just wanted to say sorry for your loss.

Mum2twomonkeys, Sorry to hear about your little one



I know lots of people are suffering but I am feeling pretty crap today.
Its my birthday, and I have not had a text, or phone call or card from any of my family.Maybe its because its near xmas, I dont know.
But heaven help you if you forget any of theirs.
So I am going to open a box of chocs, I know I shouldnt but I am.:(

kimsmum - happy birthday!!! i know exactly how you feel, it was my birthday last week and my supposed 'friend' never texted or phoned or posted a card, but she is reminding me 5 months before her birthday about how much of a big occasion it is! ive noticed shes been more and more self centred over the years, she finally texted yesterday with no apology, no excuse so i will be no responding to her, im better off without her - shame you cant do that to your family! but hugs anyway from your 'online family'!!!

:grouphug:

Kimsmum

SDG31000 wrote: »

Happy Birthday kimsmum _party_

I'm going through the same thing today, but it is DS2's 13th birthday. I'm sure my family has put cards in the post, but not one of them has bothered phoning him or getting in touch. To say I'm fuming is a mild understatement, especially after the emotional blackmail I suffered after not being able to get hold of my Mom on Christmas morning.
I left a message with my BIL that wasn't passed on and got it in the neck the next day. Cue 20 minutes of grovelling on my part trying to pacify DM and explain what happened. I'm sick of it, I can't remember the last time she phoned me and I'm tired of feeling like a second thought at best.
I'm tired of hearing about all the stuff DM is doing for my sister and Dnephew. I know I live 55 miles away, but I went through hell with PND and she never came over to help. Even when everyone was scared that I was going to kill myself and DS1 and DS2.
I suffered through 8 years of emotional, physical and mental abuse at the hands of my brother and Mom didn't stop it. I'm the one that bears the physical and mental scars, but no apology or explaination has ever been offered. I'm still dealing with the effects my childhood/teenage years had on me and it never should have happened.
So tomorrow I'm going to try to not let all of this out in one mad rant at my Mom. Wish me luck please

Sorry for the rant. I really didn't mean to, but somehow I had to let it out without ruining DS2's birthday.

Now to go and make pizza and then eat pac man birthday cake.

SDG31000 Happy Birthday to your DS2s 13th Birthday
Good Luck tomorrow with your Mum
.
Thank you all for the birthday wishes, had a nice bath and a few chocolates.
As both my parents and eldest sister have passed away.
I only have my sister left and she is 68 and I do I lot for her and her OH.
He is 70 at the end of Feb and I am the one thats organizing his surprise party at the request of my sister.She is very much like my mum in that she is the only one that counts.Everything has to be about them and only them.

Thank you all for listening to me moaning

hornetgirl

:bdaycake: Happy birthday Kimsmum. Enjoy those chocs x

silvasava

Hi all - havn't posted for quite a while & totally lost the thread (in more ways than one!) Just been reading the last posts about 'friends'. I read an article a while ago about 'Toxic Friends' that really rang true. The ones that drain you & never seem to support you but always need your time when their lives are not going well - you know the kind. I had a couple of these & I just stopped responding - I felt a bit guilty at the time as one of them I'd known for years but then I realised the friendship was based on the people we were all those years ago and she hadn't moved on. You dont have to be brutal - just gently fade out of their lives & be surprised at how liberating it is to be able to spend time with the friends who really count. This also applies to some family members - as the saying goes, you can choose your friends but not your family.

Big Big hugs to all who are going through rough patches - vent on here, we'll support you!

lizzyb1812

Trying to post but it keeps disappearing:

Gardenia101 - you'd have laughed even more 2 minutes later when I was trying to brush off sand and mud and not watching what I was doing - my foot went into a bit of quicksand stuff and I went over again. My arms ache from trying to catch myself/haul my considerable weight out of the mud, but one machine wash, one shower and one dog bath later cleanliness was restored - just pride still injured :rotfl:

Sending love and support to all parents of poorly or lost little ones - hoping you get the support you need

SDG - I'm with kidcat on this. Your post seems to indicate that your issues with your mum/sister/brother are longstanding and perhaps you need to let her/them do the running and concentrate on what you can build yourself/with your own family until you feel strong enough to confront them in a reasonable manner or decide to walk away. Your loyalty and attachment to mum, etc are admirable but it should be a two way street. I certainly would not let yourself to be subjected to what was an abusive phone call when you had done what you could to pass on a message.

stiltwalker

sleepy-lady wrote: »

Delurking to ask you lovely peeps a question: my best friend is really broke and has asked me if I could give her Mr S vouchers for her birthday next month. I know how much I can afford but I wonder if there is any way to maximise this amount? I looked on ebay but if you add on the postage they are going for face value - why would anyone want to pay that? Many thanks to you all for your inspiring posts.

Hi sleepy-lady, what a lovely thing to do for your friend. Not sure I have any suggestions to offer other than point her in our direction and towards that of the grocery thread etc, but just didn't want you not to get an answer. I also find approved foods a great source of lunch box treats etc if your friend has an OH or kids to do pack up for.