A new 'tougher' thread... and so it continues

katep23

Happy New Year everyone My New Year's resolution is to interact more and stop keeping to myself, both on here and in RL so am delurking once and for all!

Hope everyone is feeling well (or not too hungover at least) and has a good start to the new year. I love the freshness of it and saying "that's the first (cup of tea or whatever) of the new year".

fuddle

There's nothing wrong with being old before your years. Even pre-OS and MSE ways, in my early twenties I was the butt of the joke amongst my peers because I was buying Gardeners World magazine and going to Good Food shows. I think it's always been in me... the older style of living, the more grounded approach to life - the only difference back then was I must have the correct equipment to go with it, a marketers dream I was! Now, thrifty ways is much more me, mainly because I have to but also because it's actually fun beating the capitalistic view of must have this and that in order to do the job.

I too spent my youth in Bars with so called mates and never felt very comfortable. It wasn't until I met DH that the façade was allowed to slip and I started to do what I like i.e. gardening, baking, crocheting, wearing aprons and dresses that weren't up my backside *shudder. Having DH gave me the confidence to get rid of the stereotype. Hitting 30 also meant I could relax and act my 'age'.

I can't ever imagine going back to that way of life. I've lost so many friends because of my 'boring ways' but, aside from down days, I don't give two hoots. I am happy with my choice of life really. Sat here withtights, dress, cardi, slippers and apron. I may look like my grandma to them but to my family I look like mum, and I wear it well (breathe in fuddle! )

LavenderBees

miss_emmajane wrote: »

Starting the year as I mean to go on, NSD & NPD is my aim /QUOTE]

Glad you're feeling better

What's a NPD please?

VJsmum

LavenderBees wrote: »

And there has been a tragically unbelievably awful moment (my good friend's son killing himself in early December).

My goodness how awful for you all. We lost my BIL nearly 2 years ago when he took his own life. For us, it was a shock but not a surprise as he had tried several times previously. It takes a long time to come to terms with. He left a wife and 2 small children as well as his mother, and 2 siblings (my OH and his sister). We had MIL, and BIL's wife and 2 kids here for christmas. The 2 children are coping amazingly well - they used to be terribly anxious about daddy and fighting for his attention all the time. Now they are much more "normal" but i'm sorry it took what he did to make them so. SIL is trying to move on, but it's taking longer naturally. Hardest hit of all on a day to day basis is his mother. She will never get over it, never understand why he did it and in the scheme of things you aren't supposed to mourn your child.

If you can be there to listen when she wants to talk, then you will be doing her a great service, but it can get tiresome hearing the same things over and over again. And things that you won't have an answer for. I would try and encourage couselling at some point, but it is early days yet. My heart goes out to you all as it is a truly awful thing to happen.

On a brighter note - we had a fab NYE at a friends. My niece, who is staying with us for a few days, had never seen the New Year in before - even though she is 14. She said she didn't realise that this was what people did :eek: - so it was lovely to see her playing twister at 1.30 this morning.

We were going to go out for the day today but got back much later than we thought so we are going to scale it down. Kids will be pleased as they didn't want to go anyway . But we will drag them out for a walk somewhere. The diet and "alcohol free January" is starting tomorrow, not so much a diet but back to sensible eating. It really won't hurt me to go alcohol free for a while though. So i'd better eat all the choccies and drink the rest of the opened bottle of wine today :beer:

Our final holiday treat is the theatre tomorrow. Only a small local one, where we are going to see "A Christmas Carol" - can't do Panto (Oh yes you can!!) it drives me nuts (Oh no it doesn't!) so this is a good compromise (He's behind you!!!). Having favourite niece to stay is a fantastic excuse to do these things - and it's good for my niece as my sister and BIL work shifts and have 2 much smaller children so it is hard for them to get out and about to do things. DN then going home on Tuesday and back to school / work on Wednesday :(

Have a relaxing day all

VJsmum

LavenderBees wrote: »

What's a NPD please?

No Petrol Day

miss_emmajane

fuddle wrote: »

There's nothing wrong with being old before your years. Even pre-OS and MSE ways, in my early twenties I was the butt of the joke amongst my peers because I was buying Gardeners World magazine and going to Good Food shows. I think it's always been in me... the older style of living, the more grounded approach to life - the only difference back then was I must have the correct equipment to go with it, a marketers dream I was! Now, thrifty ways is much more me, mainly because I have to but also because it's actually fun beating the capitalistic view of must have this and that in order to do the job.

I too spent my youth in Bars with so called mates and never felt very comfortable. It wasn't until I met DH that the façade was allowed to slip and I started to do what I like i.e. gardening, baking, crocheting, wearing aprons and dresses that weren't up my backside *shudder. Having DH gave me the confidence to get rid of the stereotype. Hitting 30 also meant I could relax and act my 'age'.

I can't ever imagine going back to that way of life. I've lost so many friends because of my 'boring ways' but, aside from down days, I don't give two hoots. I am happy with my choice of life really. Sat here withtights, dress, cardi, slippers and apron. I may look like my grandma to them but to my family I look like mum, and I wear it well (breathe in fuddle! )

Aww that was so nice to read! I did the whole going out each week with friends thing when I was 17/18/19 and then I got bored of it. Then I had a period where I thought buying things was really important and spent all my savings, and racked up a £2000 overdraft which despite being at uni wasn't in a student account so was paying interest on it.

Then thankfully at 22/23 I settled myself down, and now I love the things I really love doing. Now and again I do like going out for drinks but I prefer days out, evenings out for meals and activities or holidays (which I could never afford when buying lots of things I didn't need!). My friends waste money like theres no tomorrow which reminds me of how I was, so happy I changed that for myself - I don't ever look like the scrimper I am as i have my sneaky ways of hiding it which somehow makes it even more fun! Plus the money saved will mean I can hopefully own my own home with my OH when I have finished my (second) degree and in the mean time also means i have money for more treats or meals via Groupon. People think I have lots of nice days out, nice clothes etc etc .... little do they know! :rotfl: At times when its hard to make money stretch I know thanks to lovely ladies here I can do my best at it and get support

Thank you for replying :T

wen3

Morning all and Happy New Year

I have a real dislike for NYE there is always the pressure of enjoying yourself and then all the falseness of the kissing on the cheek of total stangers etc but....................this year was great we stayed at home I explained to DH I had done the going out and being nice for years for him and this year I wanted to stay home but if he wanted to go out then he could no problem, but we stayed home had a great day together DD went out and has just returned. The only hiccup we had was instead of a proper dinner I had brought party bits from Mr T and Mr Sains and my goodness was I ill last night All good now though. The house is back to normal as all the decs have been put away.

I am really going to try to be more mse this year. Fuddle what a lovely post and I was very similar buying gardeners world and being into makeing things and baking when younger and many of my friends didn't get it. But I am older than you (in my 40's).

Well off to check on DH he is cooking today doing a turkey and leek pie with the left overs from Christmas have a great day one and all.

7_week_wonder

My goodness - what a start to 2012: there is a strange yellow ball in the sky! I'm going to start the year as I mean to go on: making a banana loaf to use up some over-ripe bananas.

KatieOwl: thanks for mentioning the free kindle reader for pc's: I'm definitely going to investigate later!

Well done for coming out of lurkdom katep23 - looking forward to hearing more from you.

Have a Good New Year's Day all.

gardenia101

fuddle wrote: »

...next Christmas we want to go away to the lakes in a cottage so we will save as much as we can for that! I am going to be better at quidco and will do surveys to try to save a bit extra. We just feel that Christmas was so rubbish this year because of the people around us and we will not put our happy little family through it again.

Fuddle, this is why I went away for Xmas last year (wow, that feels wierd saying last year when we were still there last week). I know I'm so lucky to be able to afford to go, & feel bad for posting that I've had a lovely holiday when so many are struggling. But Xmas has always been the worst time of the year; I've hated it with a passion since a child & that has had a massive effect on my mental health during the festive season. Xmas just gone was the best Xmas ever so I'm saving me pennies for next time & hoping to be away again.

LavenderBees wrote: »

But mostly it's been a consolidating year for me. One in which I've finally learned to be mostly content with how my little life is turning out -contentment is very much underated, I think. I used to strive for that fleeting thing we call happiness, but now I know that contentment is more likely to last.

I think I've finally come to some of the same conclusions as you, & firmly believe that contentment is the way to go for me in 2012. That & peace.

Your comment about being there for your friend is lovely (not sure what the right word is, sorry). Having a freind like you around at such a tragic time is all any of us could wish for. What a dreadful thing to have happened. Don't worry about being so far away geopgraphically - one of my best friends likes over 300 miles away yet has been such a tower of strength to me over the years, even though I haven't "seen" her that often.

My boy will love your joke :rotfl: GC - haven't heard that for years but it still makes me chortle!

fuddle wrote: »

In such a positive mood this morning. I am relieved. Me too! First NYD that I've felt at peace for a long time. Wonder if the lack of 2 small children & several decent nights' sleep has anything to do with it :whistle:

I'm determined to sort out my stress levels. I've looked into how to help with food which will tie into ragz weightloss challenge. When ragz give me that kick up the bot the other day I went and joined the challenge and will try to lose some weight. Acceptance, in this instance, was being lazy and not being bothered to change for the better. Me too (I'm really not stalking you, your chats with Ragz just made sense.)

I'm also going to wear my apron all day. Do aprons make any one else happy? I have a bizarre love for aprons.

Here is mine which always makes me smile. Not planning on wearing it today as lots of nibbles to finish off first.

Byatt

:rotfl:Well I missed all the fun; the jokes had me:rotfl: I love groan worthy jokes! All mine are visual so it won't work on here!

I went to bed early, knew it was NYD by the fireworks being let off seemingly outside my bedroom window, but I guess it was a neighbour...then my DD called to say HNY :T and she sounded happy, saying she only had 2 drinks. I'm glad she was happy, that made my night. Day. Then fell into a deep sleep and woken again by pooch throwing up! :eek: My fault as I gave her a stuffed bone from the pet shop and she not only ate the stuffing, she ate the bone :eek::eek:

Off to find my SAD light, not used it in a while, but need a boost.:o

No cat sitting...

Listening to New Years Day concert live from Vienna, the music is so jolly, I might just dance up the stairs...I'm also playing air xylophone

Hello to all the lurkers and Happy New Year to you too! :A