Do you let your toddler in bed with you?

lilrahi

DS regularly cries in the middle of the night, wanting comfort. I think DH has spooky him in regards to not just comforting him but holding him until he's gone back to sleep. Now he's 4.5 and he still does that. We've tried him in his room, nightlights, teddy bears everything but he's fine about going to sleep but he always wakes up in the middle of the night and refuses to settle until someone is in bed with him.

DD, aged 1, is much better behaved. She goes to sleep in her cot which is in our bedroom because she still requires an early morning feed and lazy me prefers not to have to go to another room. But Ds's night crying kept waking DD up so now DH spends whatever time he can in the marital bed but when DS cries he goes to comfort him and spend the rest of the night with him.

LauraFox

I dont believe that toddlers are manipulative when they say they fear something. If he needs to feel security, it s better for your relationship to listen out. You want him to get the message that you ll always be there for him when he needs you. You re his mum and he cant get a mum anywhere else.
My toddler has same issues, but instead of letting him sleep in my bed, I go and sleep in his. Then I go back to mine when he has fallen deeply asleep. If he wakes up, I rush to his before he enters my room.

It s a phase. It will pass. And then another phase will start. It s all part of parenthood!

InsertWittyName

We've never allowed any of our kids to get into our bed for the very same reason the OP outlines in the first post.

We've also never had any problems with either of them in 7 (and 4) years with regard to sleeping or bedtime.

I also don't believe in 'phases', please be strong and firm OP, but don't neglect a genuine need - it's a tough call!

I may change my opinion of 'phases' when my kids turn into teenagers, I retain the right to do so

gravitytolls

Yes, if you're all comfortable with it. Almost all ours started in baskets before joining us, moving to their own beds by about 3-4 yrs, with the occasional visit when poorly.

webitha

i dont see a problem with them sleeping with you, they obviously need the comfort of mum and they do grow out of it
my 6 yr old used to come in nearly every night up to the age of 4 then gradually she just spent more and more time in her own bed
my 10 yr old is in my bed as we speak, she had a bad dream and needed a cuddle, of course i pulled the duvet back and pulled her close she is now snoring away and i am awake lol
my 12 yr old used to come in every single night without fail to the age of 5, he hasnt done it since apart from once when he woke in tears again with a bad dream, and no matter how tough he is in front of his mates, he still needed the security of mum which he will always have

so dont fret about it, it is a phase and they do stop, and i do believe in giving my things the comfort they need no matter when it is

daby

I always let my 3 year old girl slep beside me whenever she likes. I guess this is also a way to communicate between parents and kids. And kids will grow up and be indepengdent when they are older. When I was young, I sleept alone after I went to school.
If you reject his requirement, it may hurt his feeling.

onlyroz

vicker wrote: »

I find it shocking. She's 17 years old. Everyone said she'd grow out of it, but still hasn't.

Now there's a girl who's going to have serious problems down the line. What if she goes off to uni? Does this mean she'll never be able to live on her own? I thought it was our job to turn our children into independent beings. Yes, comfort them if they're scared, ill or upset, but don't turn them into clingy beings unable to cope on their own.

OrkneyStar

DS sometimes comes in to bed with me for some cuddles/story/video for about half an hour, but he is always transferred to his own bed to actually sleep. He might pop through in the morning too and jump in for a cuddle!

onlyroz

My daughter climbed into bed with me this morning. After clubbing me round the head with a wooden toy a few times, and blasting my ears with her talking Peppa Pig alphabet game, I told her to b*gger off back to her own room.