Do you let your toddler in bed with you?

gingin_2

Do you think it might affect your relationship with your partner? I do believe husband and wife should be able to sleep together minus the kids but have been through the same with my two. OH was the one who wanted to put a stop to it, which was the right thing for us.

Could you buy him a fun alarm clock and let him come in when the bell goes off in the morning and have a 10 minute cuddle together?

lisaf

Well my DS (2) is still in my bed but he became v poorly this time last year and ended up in Great Ormond Street in the new year but thankfully he's almost back to normal now.
However I really think that being so I'll last year has made him ultra clingy so he's in my bed still.
I don't mind too much as it's a huge bed and because of his problems ( stomach issues) he can wake in pain ( rarely) now so I need tone close to him.
Also if you can believe this about 6 months ago a neighbor ( who by the way knew he was poorly) actually complained by way of screaming and swearing through the walls at 4 am when he'd had a particularly horrendous night.

Consequently, she has made me absolutely terrified of trying to get him into his own bed in case it makes him scream more and makes her complain more!
Just to add she's younger than me and has 2 kids of her own.
Anyway rant over!
Lisa x

vharbourne

peachyprice wrote: »

Did you not read my post above, sis still has her 15yo and 11yo wanting to get in her bed. So, perhaps not as unusual as you would think.

But is this to sleep in their bed or in the morning? My brother even now when he's back from uni and is twenty will get into mom and dads bed, usually mom is up at this point, just to chat and I am 29 and when I go home if mom is in bed I will sit on the bed and chat to her

My children are 3 1/2 and 16 months and my oldest used to sleeping our bed till she was 2 1/2 and then finally felt ok to sleep in her room, but does still come in our room occasionally if she has a bad night or comes in at about 6-7 in the morning. she stands at the end of the bed and asks if she come in (why I don't know as we have never said no but it is very cute). my youngest never really slept in our bed as she likes her own space but occasionally if she is ill she will and we pick her up from her cot in the morning when she shouts for us and put her in our bed to watch tv. I don't think it does them any harm and our oldest Is very independent, also she goes straight into nursery and waves bye or just runs of to play while some parents have to have their children dragged of them.

They grow up so quickly and like others say if you don't mind them in your bed it is fine and it won't be forever. However when my girls are teens if they want to come in our bed for a cuddle in the morning I personally find that fine and normal from my bringing up but each to their own

peachyprice

vharbourne wrote: »

But is this to sleep in their bed or in the morning?

No, to sleep in their bed!

Sis usually goes to bed before her OH, once she's in bed one of the children will get in with her and her OH will end up sleeping in the free bed, this happens I would say 4 nights out of 7.

If the children can't get into the parents bed because they are both already in it, they quite often end up in the same bed as each other.

Gillby1

Just to give a different perspective, i spent the first year of my son's life exhausted because i was trying to get him to sleep in his own cot because it was the 'right thing to do', when actually we would all have slept better if he'd just been allowed to sleep in our bed when he needed. Now, he's 19 months old and he will only sleep in his own cot, and ironically i'd love for him to sleep in with us sometimes as his babyhood is already flying by so fast! Sadly, he won't ever settle in our bed, even when he's ill.

I suppose the issue is getting the balance right. For most people, the odd night of bed sharing is fine, but only if you can have some say over how often and when. I hope you manage to work things out, op!

pinkclouds

peachyprice wrote: »

Did you not read my post above, sis still has her 15yo and 11yo wanting to get in her bed. So, perhaps not as unusual as you would think.

I'm sorry: I didn't realise your post was referring to regular co-sleeping. I assumed - wrongly - that you meant they still liked to come in for a cuddle on an occasional basis. Which I would find relatively normal - particularly if the kids were prone to nightmares or were simply coming in for hugs for the last hour or so of the morning.

However, based on my circle of friends and acquaintances, co-sleeping (with one or both parents) is generally only "usual" with young kids. I am personally not aware of anyone who routinely co-sleeps with much older kids.

I will point out though that my definition of "co-sleeping" means "in the same bed". Sharing bedrooms, with either siblings or parents, is not the same. (Not everyone is rich enough to have large houses and one dedicated bedroom per individual.) And, for me, co-sleeping is an extension of rocking baby to sleep in your arms - it's cuddling the child, humming lullabies and shushes, patting and soothing, getting them to sleep and keeping them asleep. Surely a teenager doesn't still require that?? My 4 year old is now quite capable of closing her eyes and going to sleep unaided.

neverdespairgirl

My son slept with us until he was about 3. then we made his own bed exciting, and he wanted to go in it.

Now, he comes and jumps in our bed in the morning for pre-getting-up cuddles, which is great. he's 6.

BLUEBIE

Hi

My daughter who is 11 still sleeps fairly regularly with me, not every day or even every week, but every now and then she will ask if she can have a sleep over in my bed, can't see the problem myself. Don't think it will stop anytime soon, but obviously will one day and then I shall miss it.

savingssaver

mine says a meekat comes out of his telly, he gets in my bed everynight and he is 5 years old, but i just let him, too much hassle me saying no.

brians_daughter

OP you have my sympathies lol. Same happened with me. DS's room was being re-decorated and he slept in with me for 3 nights whilst the room was being done and the fumes 'aired'... well, urm that was 8 months ago and (dare i admit it!) hes never moved back into his room

I tried everything.. baby gate well that one didnt last he figured out quite quickly if he took the duvet off his bed and pushed it against the gate he could climb over and totter into my bed. I persevered for a few nights (not leaving him to cry i hasten to add, i sat outside his room and soothed him or tried to) but it got quite dangerous quite quickly as he would wake and know he couldnt come into mummies bed so would use the same technique above to climb over the baby gate at the top of the stairs so he could come downstairs.

I spoke to the HV about it as i was worried it 'wasnt the right thing to do' and i was concerened about him being 17 and still sleeping in bed with me lol. The HV asked me 1 question 'how many teenagers do you know who sleep with their parents?" It was obviously said in jest but that one comment made me realise taht they are only young once and i quite look forward to going to bed for cuddles with my son. It may be different for me as i sadly do not live with the father of my children and if i did i may feel differently (ie no hubby time iykwim??) but i dont so its fine

So, for now hes still in my bed with me. He will go up to bed early for a story and then fall asleep in my bed without fuss. I tried many methods reqards charts, chastising, bribary, shouting (out of desperation)but nothing worked

My next plan is to actually move rooms! When i feel enough is enough i am simply going to go sleep in his room and then move all my stuff in lol. :rotfl::rotfl::rotfl: