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A few months and several questions

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  • RosaBernicia
    RosaBernicia Posts: 4,909 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Knitting_Nora wrote: »
    Hey Rosa

    If you can afford to rent a one bed place and still beat the whatsit out of your debts, then I say go for it *offers chocolate to help with the nerves*. You know the drill - make sure you've planned it properly, and you should be fine.

    I've done both, and found that living on my own had quite a significant impact on my ability to spend less and save more - gave me more control, and of course there are things like the single person's council tax deduction which help hugely if you're in quite an expensive area. I also found it much more relaxing when work was pants, and when the world at large was annoying me....

    It can be a little lonely at first, but trust me - being able to have a bubble bath, put a load of washing on and use the phone whenever you want doesn't have make up for it very quickly!

    Let us know how it goes.

    Nora.x


    Thanks Nora :grouphug:

    I think the flexibility on what to save and spend is one of the things I would really miss from living on my own. I know that I have full control here and if I decide to have furry blankets and minimal heating, or not do the washing up for 3 days because it only consists of breakfast bowls and pizza plates, that's OK because it isn't bugging anyone else. I'm already used to being on my own over the past year as the landlord decided he didn't want another person in, so my lifestyle wouldn't really change - I'd just be living somewhere that doesn't include two freezing cold rooms I don't use and my council tax and heating bills would plummet.

    I think another trip to the estate agents will be in order shortly, and this time it will be about 1-beds, only a 2 if there happens to be a fab one under X amount per month. I've already spotted one place just around the corner from a friend so will see about that this coming week.

    It does mean I wouldn't be walloping the debts so fast... but the point of killing off the debts is to enable me to do other things in the longer term. Making myself miserable for 6 months sharing when I don't want to is a lot of hassle in the short-ish term for no particular benefit, and runs the risk of causing me to make later bad decisions due to being in an unhappy situation.

    I think six months would be about right to see how I feel and then reconsider. Right, plans shaping up...

    Thanks :A

    Rosa xx
    Debt free May 2016... DFW#2 in progress
    Campervan paid off summer '21... MFW progress tbc
  • RosaBernicia
    RosaBernicia Posts: 4,909 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    ZTD wrote: »
    In a recent thing I went to, someone beat around the bush for 10 minutes before delivering what he considered to be a absolutely damning verdict. Everyone else was: "Was that it? We've already said that."

    :rotfl:

    ZTD wrote: »
    Err...that's not a rant. That's an explanation of circumstances.

    :grouphug:

    thanks :grouphug:

    ZTD wrote: »
    I take it that it's expensive where you are? I have a 3 bedroom house. I'm in the main bedroom, and My Junk(Part I) is in the second bedroom, and My Junk(Part II) is in the third...

    :rotfl:

    It's ridiculously expensive round here. A one-bed converted flat in the dodgy bit just outside the ringroad is about £160K. The kind of period two-bed cottage, on the edge of the city, with decent size garden that I would want in the long term goes for about £250K. I'm not even considering the super-suburb commuter towns as I hate commuting and don't like soulless modern towns either. This is one of the reasons I'm seriously thinking about whether I should look to move back north - I am just never going to be able to afford the lifestyle I want here. I'd have to work my way up another 2 pay grades to get that mortgage on a sensible multiple, and there aren't the jobs at that level, and I'm not flaming well inclined to flog myself well into my forties for the sake of remaining present in the South East. There are other things I may want to do with the rest of my thirties, for a start. Some of my friends are perfectly happy here, but they want different things. I am beginning to think that I should accept the need to hunt for a decent job and the trauma of moving, if it means I can have what I want in the long term. If I have space for people to stay, they can visit for weekends and I can also visit back down here... plus it must eventually be possible to meet new fabulous people :)

    ZTD wrote: »
    We will - don't worry... ;)

    Thanks :grouphug:

    Rosa xx
    Debt free May 2016... DFW#2 in progress
    Campervan paid off summer '21... MFW progress tbc
  • RosaBernicia
    RosaBernicia Posts: 4,909 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    ... is finally beginning to creep up on me.

    Mind you, it's mugged my debit card :rotfl:

    Today I spent £34 :eek: in Hotel Chocolat and what's more, half of it was for me :eek::p:j :rotfl:. This was a pressie for friends who are moving away, chocs for me over Christmas (some of which will be repaid from gifts money, I just want to avoid town over the sales), and a present for a friend I haven't seen in years. She's completely skint and I wanted to send her a real treat she'd never have bought herself. (I also added a fiver to help with buying food for a stray cat she's been feeding - she'd never take the money for herself but I know she's been worrying about the cat and hopefully it spares a bit from her budget.) See, this is when Christmas is just an excuse for good things :).

    Also stocked up in L*sh and can't think of anything else I need in the centre so am really hoping I don't have go back there while the hordes are raiding the sales.

    I finally bought Christmas cards yesterday - very late, but decided better than never - I haven't managed anything beyond email ones the last couple of years. Decided to weed out the list a bit so the 'obligation' ones won't be restarted. Will be doing those tonight and tomorrow together with some good email ones.

    Have been thinking about different 'pots' of money while looking at what I could adjust to allow for renting a flat. I was going to start a holiday fund, which will have to be trimmed a bit, but this and the baking sheet incident over on Lula's thread has got me thinking about purely 'fun' money. What would that mean? What would I spend it on? Normally my birthday money etc just goes on clothes, or stuff I want but couldn't justify out of normal spends... eg. this year's was heading for a Kenwood Chef :o. Am actually quite confused about what I could call purely fun money other than chocolate expenses (and to me that's pretty much essential anyway :p). I think an experiment is in order. So this year's Christmas and birthday money will NOT be swept into general funds, and will NOT be used for clothes that I needed anyway (not even fabulous underwear, because that is also essential). I'm unlikely to buy jewellery with it as I wear very little anyway. It's going to sit in an account while I dither and decide what to do with it. Which will have to be something completely non-essential. :p:D :rotfl:

    Rosa xx
    Debt free May 2016... DFW#2 in progress
    Campervan paid off summer '21... MFW progress tbc
  • ZTD
    ZTD Posts: 24,327 Forumite
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    I think the flexibility on what to save and spend is one of the things I would really miss from living on my own. I know that I have full control here and if I decide to have furry blankets and minimal heating, or not do the washing up for 3 days because it only consists of breakfast bowls and pizza plates, that's OK because it isn't bugging anyone else.

    I used to live with someone who wouldn't wash up for weeks. His bowls would lie under a sediment, producing new sandstone...
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    It does mean I wouldn't be walloping the debts so fast... but the point of killing off the debts is to enable me to do other things in the longer term. Making myself miserable for 6 months sharing when I don't want to is a lot of hassle in the short-ish term for no particular benefit, and runs the risk of causing me to make later bad decisions due to being in an unhappy situation.

    Yes indeedy - a wise choice.
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    I think six months would be about right to see how I feel and then reconsider.

    Another wise choice.
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    It's ridiculously expensive round here. A one-bed converted flat in the dodgy bit just outside the ringroad is about £160K.

    Wowsers! This one is not in *the* dodgy area, but is close to it (the dodgy area is next to the wood you can see in photo 5). A little difference in price...
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    The kind of period two-bed cottage, on the edge of the city, with decent size garden that I would want in the long term goes for about £250K.

    The ones I like go for about a million and a half... ;)
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    I'm not even considering the super-suburb commuter towns as I hate commuting and don't like soulless modern towns either.

    How much commuting can you tolerate? What is it about modern towns you dislike?
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    Some of my friends are perfectly happy here, but they want different things.

    Unfortunately, they have their priorities and you have yours. They don't have to coincide.
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    I am beginning to think that I should accept the need to hunt for a decent job and the trauma of moving, if it means I can have what I want in the long term.

    A one-off pain for a long-term benefit. Seems reasonable to me.
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    If I have space for people to stay, they can visit for weekends and I can also visit back down here...

    Well depending on which "North" you go to (everywhere from Sheffield upwards are wannabes) it's not actually that far away to where you are. From the north west the M6 takes the strain.
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    plus it must eventually be possible to meet new fabulous people :)

    Absolutely!
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    I just want to avoid town over the sales),

    Naah - best time of the year. No parking, no common sense, no common curtesy, and standing room only. How much more fabulousness do you want? ;)
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    and a present for a friend I haven't seen in years. She's completely skint and I wanted to send her a real treat she'd never have bought herself. (I also added a fiver to help with buying food for a stray cat she's been feeding - she'd never take the money for herself but I know she's been worrying about the cat and hopefully it spares a bit from her budget.)

    That is very kind and thoughtful of you. :T
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    See, this is when Christmas is just an excuse for good things :).

    You don't need excuses.
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    I think an experiment is in order. So this year's Christmas and birthday money will NOT be swept into general funds, and will NOT be used for clothes that I needed anyway (not even fabulous underwear, because that is also essential).

    Fabulous underwear is essential? ththdcc47f051.gif
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    I'm unlikely to buy jewellery with it as I wear very little anyway. It's going to sit in an account while I dither and decide what to do with it. Which will have to be something completely non-essential. :p:D :rotfl:

    Just make sure you buy quality, so it is with you a long time.
    "Follow the money!" - Deepthroat (AKA William Mark Felt Sr - Associate Director of the FBI)
    "We were born and raised in a summer haze." Adele 'Someone like you.'
    "Blowing your mind, 'cause you know what you'll find, when you're looking for things in the sky."     OMD 'Julia's Song'
  • RosaBernicia
    RosaBernicia Posts: 4,909 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    ZTD wrote: »
    I used to live with someone who wouldn't wash up for weeks. His bowls would lie under a sediment, producing new sandstone...

    :rotfl: Probably best I don't scare myself by remembering various student hovels.

    ZTD wrote: »
    Wowsers! This one is not in *the* dodgy area, but is close to it (the dodgy area is next to the wood you can see in photo 5). A little difference in price...

    :T A friend of mine sold a two bed terrace - probably no bigger than that and with no more garden, near the centre of town - for close on £300K just before the market collapsed. 'S mad isn't it?

    I had been seriously considering buying somewhere up north as an excuse to spend time looking around and to have an emergency retreat, but that will have to wait til I have a deposit and a better idea of where I'd want to be.

    ZTD wrote: »
    The ones I like go for about a million and a half... ;)

    Ooh, you want your own cinema and a pool then?

    ZTD wrote: »
    How much commuting can you tolerate? What is it about modern towns you dislike?

    Aha, the wise Z-questions :T

    I could live with about a half hour. 45 mins is a bit much. I don't mind driving itself, but feel guilt-ridden about the fuel so would want to try and car-share or something. An ideal solution would be a village on a train line or good bus route. But of course those are automatically more expensive.

    ZTD wrote: »
    Unfortunately, they have their priorities and you have yours. They don't have to coincide.

    True, and there are benefits to having friends with different styles. The Philosopher and I can't get on as flatmates, we drive each other mad, but I like going to his raucous parties and he likes coming over here to be fed and listened to. Similar would probably happen on a bigger scale if we were visiting for weekends.

    ZTD wrote: »
    A one-off pain for a long-term benefit. Seems reasonable to me.

    Especially when you put it like that...

    ZTD wrote: »
    Fabulous underwear is essential? ththdcc47f051.gif

    Yes. :D


    :grouphug:

    Rosa xx
    Debt free May 2016... DFW#2 in progress
    Campervan paid off summer '21... MFW progress tbc
  • ZTD
    ZTD Posts: 24,327 Forumite
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    :rotfl: Probably best I don't scare myself by remembering various student hovels.

    Be thankful. It probably set up your immune system for life...
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    :T A friend of mine sold a two bed terrace - probably no bigger than that and with no more garden, near the centre of town - for close on £300K just before the market collapsed. 'S mad isn't it?

    Yup...
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    that will have to wait til I have a deposit and a better idea of where I'd want to be.

    Yes indeedy. You don't want a flat above the Bigg Market if you want peace and quiet.
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    Ooh, you want your own cinema and a pool then?

    Nope. Drives me nuts when there's a big expensive house, and they throw in an outdoor heated swimming pool (presumably because they had money burning a hole in their pocket). This is in Alnwick. So it's a ice-rink for half the year... :eek:
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    Aha, the wise Z-questions :T

    :rotfl: Wise? As in Ernie?
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    I could live with about a half hour. 45 mins is a bit much.

    Well that's not much lower than the standard. Someone did a world-wide survey of commutes, and determined that on average, people could only tolerate 100 minutes of commute per day.

    Does make you wonder how these people who live in Leeds but work in London cope...
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    An ideal solution would be a village on a train line or good bus route. But of course those are automatically more expensive.

    Do the calculations for travel costs and housing costs based on your limit for commuting. If a car is cheaper, use the car.
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    Yes. :D

    Essential for what exactly... :p
    "Follow the money!" - Deepthroat (AKA William Mark Felt Sr - Associate Director of the FBI)
    "We were born and raised in a summer haze." Adele 'Someone like you.'
    "Blowing your mind, 'cause you know what you'll find, when you're looking for things in the sky."     OMD 'Julia's Song'
  • RosaBernicia
    RosaBernicia Posts: 4,909 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    Well have juuust about managed Christmas cards this year after all. I always used to love Christmas and enjoy sorting out all the cards and deccies, but it all got too mad the last couple of years and I've only managed email cards if that.

    Decided on the weekend I just about had time to get under the wire this year so scribbled a list and spent tonight rounding up addresses. All of which have now been entrusted to Google and will be at my fingertips on the beloved smartphone :). I feel much more organised now :)

    In the process have realised...
    ...my tolerance for continuing tenous links with people I haven't seen in years, and who don't bother contacting me, has obviously dropped. I've decided against sending cards to several people who I am in touch with on Facebook but haven't seen in ten years and am unlikely to actually meet again. And that includes distant relatives. All the more energy for people who appreciate it :p
    ... I haven't seen my cousins on one side of the family for absolutely ages. Must do something about that 'cos I like them :)
    ... Next year I want to move away from 'bought' presents and make things :)


    It feels like I haven't done so much for this Christmas, as one relative isn't playing and I have come to an agreement with one friend that we will 'do' stuff instead of swopping presents - it's a much better arrangement as means it's an event instead of something they may not need, but does mean I somehow feel I haven't done enough pressie-wrapping. Hopefully decorating tomorrow will make up for that :)

    Rosa xx
    Debt free May 2016... DFW#2 in progress
    Campervan paid off summer '21... MFW progress tbc
  • RosaBernicia
    RosaBernicia Posts: 4,909 Forumite
    Part of the Furniture 1,000 Posts Name Dropper Combo Breaker
    ... not having to lick stamps?

    YTF didn't they get turned into stickers years ago??? :rotfl:
    Debt free May 2016... DFW#2 in progress
    Campervan paid off summer '21... MFW progress tbc
  • Knitting_Nora
    Knitting_Nora Posts: 1,450 Forumite
    Ninth Anniversary Combo Breaker Debt-free and Proud!
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    ... not having to lick stamps?

    YTF didn't they get turned into stickers years ago??? :rotfl:

    :D I was thinking exactly that earlier today!
  • ZTD
    ZTD Posts: 24,327 Forumite
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    ... not having to lick stamps?

    And what's wrong with having to lick boiled cow?
    RosaBernicia wrote: »
    YTF didn't they get turned into stickers years ago??? :rotfl:

    YTF?
    "Follow the money!" - Deepthroat (AKA William Mark Felt Sr - Associate Director of the FBI)
    "We were born and raised in a summer haze." Adele 'Someone like you.'
    "Blowing your mind, 'cause you know what you'll find, when you're looking for things in the sky."     OMD 'Julia's Song'
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