Are Maintenance Payments Based on Household Income or Individual Income?

Thirtysix

Will try to keep this simple.

Ex and I split 2.5yrs ago (were together 15yrs but not married),our child is now 6yrs old.We had an informal agreement in that the only maintenance paid was half the school fees and nothing else.

Ex then married someone earning over £100k per year with at least that on top as a bonus.She has a daughter from a previous marriage but her ex pays all school fees plus maintenance.

My ex has now said he can't afford to continue paying half our daughter's school fees as work is scarce (I know as I am in the same boat).

So,I would like to keep this amicable and factual rather than emotional and wondered if "their" household income would be taken into consideration rather than just his (zero as he claims) income? He is self-employed if that makes any difference.

I have tried to find a simple answer to this all over the place but decided that you guys were the biggest mine of info and common sense.....

Gillyx

It will be his income only if you were to approach the CSA.

DUTR

You could not have looked very far, however you are near the right place (as in the internet) the CSA advises 15% net pay of the non resident parent, even if his Mrs had won the euro lotto jackpot, it would ake no odds if he continued to work as a minimum wage, sorry it's not up to his Mrs to look after the child the 2 of you made

moomoomama27

Thirtysix wrote: »

Will try to keep this simple.

Ex and I split 2.5yrs ago (were together 15yrs but not married),our child is now 6yrs old.We had an informal agreement in that the only maintenance paid was half the school fees and nothing else.

Ex then married someone earning over £100k per year with at least that on top as a bonus.She has a daughter from a previous marriage but her ex pays all school fees plus maintenance.

My ex has now said he can't afford to continue paying half our daughter's school fees as work is scarce (I know as I am in the same boat).

So,I would like to keep this amicable and factual rather than emotional and wondered if "their" household income would be taken into consideration rather than just his (zero as he claims) income? He is self-employed if that makes any difference.

I have tried to find a simple answer to this all over the place but decided that you guys were the biggest mine of info and common sense.....

No it makes no difference what his new partner earns, or what she pays out for, for him or her child. She has no obligation finacially at all to your child.

You would be entitled to 15% of his take home pay, no matter what it was. If he cannot afford the fees, he can't. If you fail to be able t come to an agreement then the CSA will be able to enforce the 15% from him, which may or may not amount to what you had hoped to cover the fees.

Thirtysix

Thank you for your answers...I did suspect as much. I am trying to keep the emotion out of it as his new wife was a friend of ours....The lifestyle they lead is very different to mine and he goes on holidays etc etc etc (trying to remain calm).I cannot do this with my daughter as my overheads have remained the same,household income halved and the lack of childcare (let alone affordable childcare) in this area makes finding a job that fits in with school hours and school holidays more than a little difficult.
Oh well,at least I know the answer now....thank you all.

moomoomama27

Thirtysix wrote: »

Thank you for your answers...I did suspect as much. I am trying to keep the emotion out of it as his new wife was a friend of ours....The lifestyle they lead is very different to mine and he goes on holidays etc etc etc (trying to remain calm).I cannot do this with my daughter as my overheads have remained the same,household income halved and the lack of childcare (let alone affordable childcare) in this area makes finding a job that fits in with school hours and school holidays more than a little difficult.
Oh well,at least I know the answer now....thank you all.

You can't think that way or you'll drive yourself crazy! He only lives this way through her wages, you would not have lived this way had he still been with you as it's her money so to speak. It's all material, as long as he spends time with your child and treats her properly then that's all that really matters. I know how hard it can be to accept, but try, because it can very quickly trn a person bitter and jealous, and that's not healthy for you or your child.

emsywoo123

Depending on the likelihood of being able to afford the fees in the near future it might be worth having the conversation with the school with regards to a bursary.

Thirtysix

emsywoo123 wrote: »

Depending on the likelihood of being able to afford the fees in the near future it might be worth having the conversation with the school with regards to a bursary.

Emsy,I have looked into that and it's a definite no-go for at least a year sadly.

As for the lifestyle,we DID have that lifestyle before.We both earned decent money and managed to work around our daughter.I am not jealous but I am bitter that our daughter has to lead a very different life,change schools etc when if his new wife "supported him" as I did,through the tough times over 15yrs she wouldn't have to....

fannyanna

Thirtysix wrote: »

if his new wife "supported him"

By the sound of it she is supporting HIM. What you really mean is also support your daughter which I'm sure is something she isn't about to do anytime soon.

DUTR

Thirtysix wrote: »

Emsy,I have looked into that and it's a definite no-go for at least a year sadly.

As for the lifestyle,we DID have that lifestyle before.We both earned decent money and managed to work around our daughter.I am not jealous but I am bitter that our daughter has to lead a very different life,change schools etc when if his new wife "supported him" as I did,through the tough times over 15yrs she wouldn't have to....

His new wife is not you though, she is somebody different, life would be boring if everybody shared the same exact characteristics

Thirtysix

DUTR wrote: »

His new wife is not you though, she is somebody different, life would be boring if everybody shared the same exact characteristics

Indeed! I think my problem (and I did say I didn't want to bring emotion into it...sorry) is that this woman was a friend,knows my daughter well,has her to stay in there home (ok she is not always there) and has what I woul call a decent relationship with her.

You are right though,we are not the same.

My problem is judging people by my own standards and am inevitably let down.Such is life,it's just more painful when a 6yr old is involved.