what're your reasons for not being on the organ donor registry?

KxMx

shellsuit wrote: »

That's all very well, and even though I am on the register and would happily offer my organs, I don't know if, God forbid, something happened to one of my children, that I'd offer theirs.

Infact, I wouldn't as I don't think I could bring myself to allow it.

Does that make me a bad person?

Does that make me as selfish (which has been said on here) as people who won't go on the register but who could?

I think that makes you human tbh.

Buf if one of your children were (god forbid of course) sick or dying, would you accept a transplant for them? Knowing of course it is possibly coming from another child whose parents allowed the organs to be given. And if the answer is yes then it does seem selfish, sorry, and I mean that in the nicest possible way!

Are your kids old enough to have this discussed with them to see what they want? I know both me and my brother made it known to our parents around the age of 13 that we wanted to donate and our parents accepted we were mature enough to make the decision and fully informed.

rustyboy21

shellsuit wrote: »

That's all very well, and even though I am on the register and would happily offer my organs, I don't know if, God forbid, something happened to one of my children, that I'd offer theirs.

Infact, I wouldn't as I don't think I could bring myself to allow it.

Does that make me a bad person?

Does that make me as selfish (which has been said on here) as people who won't go on the register but who could?

I don't think it makes you a bad person at all. I think the situation is different. Children are not really able to give their consent to donor registering as after all they are Children.
I have reservations about even if a child said they wanted to donate, whether they had actually thought about it properly. It is down to what your thoughts are and how your child is and acts. If they are strong willed, think things through and has a mind of their own, then I feel that their choice should be considered, but still may be not acted on.
If your child was of legal age ( say 18) and could comprehend what donation entails then yes, if you went against their wishes then that would be something you would have to live with. They are classed as an adult by then and able to make their own decisions.

System

So are you advocating that it should be mandatory and people should not be allowed a personal choice?

Normally when people come out with something along the lines of 'we need to change our attitude' they mean 'you don't agree with my thinking and have to change'

buzzhoney

!!!!!! wrote: »

So are you advocating that it should be mandatory and people should not be allowed a personal choice?

Normally when people come out with something along the lines of 'we need to change our attitude' they mean 'you don't agree with my thinking and have to change'

No. As I said earlier in this thread I'd support an opt-out system. And the whole thing is rather bigger than just my opinion. What people 'normally' mean when they 'come out with' what I said is their affair.

I've yet to hear a convincing argument against organ donation from anyone here or elsewhere. This may be because there isn't one, or maybe I just haven't heard it yet.

shellsuit

KxMx wrote: »

I think that makes you human tbh.

Buf if one of your children were (god forbid of course) sick or dying, would you accept a transplant for them? Knowing of course it is possibly coming from another child whose parents allowed the organs to be given. And if the answer is yes then it does seem selfish, sorry, and I mean that in the nicest possible way!

Are your kids old enough to have this discussed with them to see what they want? I know both me and my brother made it known to our parents around the age of 13 that we wanted to donate and our parents accepted we were mature enough to make the decision and fully informed.

I didn't even think of that

Yes, of course I would and you are right, it is selfish thinking on my part, thank you for saying it in a nice way too!

Mine are 15, almost 14, and 2.

I've just asked my middle child (daughter) and after explaining it all to her, she asked if she could go on it now and has just asked for a web address to look it up. This is coming from a squeamish girl who only took her first tablet (paracetamol) last month!

rustyboy21

!!!!!! wrote: »

So are you advocating that it should be mandatory and people should not be allowed a personal choice?

Normally when people come out with something along the lines of 'we need to change our attitude' they mean 'you don't agree with my thinking and have to change'

See , the argument is starting again.

I have looked through this thread a lot, it is something dear to my heart. My OH brother died recently from Cystic Fibrosis. He had been on the transplant register for years, but whenever a set of heart/lungs came up, he was too ill to go through with the operation. Because of the lack of donors he was never meant to get them.

Whilst the OP brought up a very good thread, a lot of people ( me at Times ) have maybe been a bit forthcoming with the positive side of donating and the frustration of other people who are against it who, afterall do have the right to refuse, but wont give valid reasons for doing so. I have no grudge against people who say that they won't do it because they don't want to, Or people who are not able to do so due to pre eisting medical issues.

It is the ones who come out with things like, you feel them getting removed, they retrieve them without consent, they use parts as skipping ropes etc. This would put the most strong willed person against donation. It is all half truths and scaremongering. We as a nation give millions to charity each year. Something that is not going to cost you a penny, but would give the person receiving it a feeling like a lottery win, is to be commended.

I feel that setting up a register which whether it means that you opt in or opt out, but at the end of the day, your decision is acted out is required. The system in place at present is too open, if you decide you wish to donate, your family can refuse and it wont be done. You are not in a position to argue are you? Families will do things like honour where the deceased wants their ashes scattered, what music is played in the service etc, but a lot of times, won't allow the request that body parts are used to help another person out. It would also put less pressure on Doctors who have to ask relatives the question of donating.The decision has already been made by the person involved.

If the points the OP raised has got some more people to sign up on the register then it has done what was intended, to try and save more lives of people who are less fortunate than yourself. She may have gone about it the wrong way, as wel as others, but there was reasoning behind those actions.

buzzhoney

Sorry to continue the argument, and I'm so sorry about your brother. Your point about the lottery win is spot on.

rustyboy21

buzzhoney wrote: »

Sorry to continue the argument, and I'm so sorry about your brother. Your point about the lottery win is spot on.

Thanks for your comment.

The upsetting thing about his death was that he and his wife had been trying for years for children. 6 weeks before he died, his wife gave birth to twins by IVF. They wont know their dad and he wont have chance to see them grow up. If more people were to join the register, it could prevent things like this happening again.

hazelc56

rustyboy21 wrote: »

See , the argument is starting again.

I have looked through this thread a lot, it is something dear to my heart. My OH brother died recently from Cystic Fibrosis. He had been on the transplant register for years, but whenever a set of heart/lungs came up, he was too ill to go through with the operation. Because of the lack of donors he was never meant to get them.

Whilst the OP brought up a very good thread, a lot of people ( me at Times ) have maybe been a bit forthcoming with the positive side of donating and the frustration of other people who are against it who, afterall do have the right to refuse, but wont give valid reasons for doing so. I have no grudge against people who say that they won't do it because they don't want to, Or people who are not able to do so due to pre eisting medical issues.

It is the ones who come out with things like, you feel them getting removed, they retrieve them without consent, they use parts as skipping ropes etc. This would put the most strong willed person against donation. It is all half truths and scaremongering. We as a nation give millions to charity each year. Something that is not going to cost you a penny, but would give the person receiving it a feeling like a lottery win, is to be commended.

I feel that setting up a register which whether it means that you opt in or opt out, but at the end of the day, your decision is acted out is required. The system in place at present is too open, if you decide you wish to donate, your family can refuse and it wont be done. You are not in a position to argue are you? Families will do things like honour where the deceased wants their ashes scattered, what music is played in the service etc, but a lot of times, won't allow the request that body parts are used to help another person out. It would also put less pressure on Doctors who have to ask relatives the question of donating.The decision has already been made by the person involved.

If the points the OP raised has got some more people to sign up on the register then it has done what was intended, to try and save more lives of people who are less fortunate than yourself. She may have gone about it the wrong way, as wel as others, but there was reasoning behind those actions.

Rustyboy Rustyboy,:DI like saying that name of your's as thats what i used to call my beloved deceased dog.(in the picture)
Anyhow back to the point...and this reply to !!!!!!.You are right about the OP.The post did do what it was intended regarding myself.I went straight to the site to register.Something i had been meaning to do for a long time.My reasons for not doing so sooner were feeble.Having said that I have to also say that the OP actually starting this thread has been a positive thing for BOTH sides as it allows all of us to express our views.The thread has somewhat opened my eyes and has made me more thoughtful and aware of why people wouldnt or cant sign up as I never even considered it before due to my own ignorance.
The thread is proving useful to many of us who are or were in the dark or have never thought about reasons WHY or WHY NOT.
So i would say to all here to just accept other peoples reasons FOR and reasons AGAINST signing the register with grace and understanding for both views.:kisses:

TimBear

I'm on the register, for everything except my eyes and my heart. Why? Because I just don't like the thought of it - that's the best reason I can give. If that makes me selfish then so be it, but that's not for other people to decide.

Whilst I'm living though, I donate blood regularly.