Silly question about leaving home :-*

southoftheriver

When I left for uni my mum dismantled my bed and put most of my things away. She made me take pretty much everything as well which was fun when I didn't drive. If I go back now I have to sleep in the living room, and I pay for storage! Some people don't realise how fortunate they are.

make_me_wise

Once you leave home then the room that was yours just becomes another part of the house. To see it as yours and expect for it to be kept clear so you can go back and use it as and when is unrealistic. Suggests to me that you aren't completely ready to get out in the big wide world and make your own way, if you need this safety net.

I left home at 18 and never went back to live there, just visited and slept where a blow up bed fitted for sleepovers after parties etc. My brother on the other hand behaved like he was on a bit of bloody elastic and moved back home more times than I am sure my parents care to remember. After he had moved out for the 8th time my parents sold up and downsized and that was it he was on his own. At 32 it was about time.

balletshoes

ziggles50 wrote: »

Hi
Just wondering for any of you who have children who have left home-
I left home about 9 months ago. I have stayed over just once- in my old bedroom in my own bed.
My room has become a dumping ground and so the bed is under loads of crap that is unused nad will not be moved in the near future. (the boxroom where my brother slept is kept in neater condition and i could sleep in there but i don't want to).
Is it unreasonable to want to or even insist that i am allowed to sleep im my own bed (linen is not mine). I won't be staying regularly but that's how i feel and i don't want to NOT stay just because i can't sleep where i want to.
I am just funny about this stuff and i am quite p'd off that this has been allowed to happen.
Furthermore i am still on the move and so have 'stuff' that i need to take back home until my next move. Do i have to put it in the loft or can i insist it be kept easily accessible in my room?
(Side note matter could be contentious as it is family home stepmum moved into and her 'stuff' is still inthe shed outside. Also i have kitchen stuff that is still in use-Is it unreasonable to ask that it be packed away for when i get my own place that will need such items. As opposed to having this stuff continue to be used and degrade further. Won't be able to furnish my own place as i'm too poor.)

Important thing is i don't want to cause ructions but i am a bit annoyed.

its not your house - you don't live there anymore and you haven't for 9 months. so where you sleep and where you can store any stuff of yours which you ask to store at your parent's home is entirely up to them, not you. Its not your bedroom anymore - its a spare room. If the stuff in the kitchen which is yours has been in constant use since before you left (ie you all used it regularly) of course you could ask that if you can now pack it away until you move into your own place. You can ask - I don't think you are in any position to insist though to be honest.

sorry you feel annoyed about this issue, I don't really understand why you feel annoyed to be honest. You've moved out, its not your room anymore. When I moved out, my parents let my sisters re-decorate my bedroom as an upstairs sitting room - and I had no problem with that, it had a sofa-bed in it, so I had somewhere I could sleep if for any reason I was back there to sleep (and of course there was always the sofa downstairs). But "my" bedroom was no longer a bedroom at all.

Kay_Peel

Aaaagh! Know how you feel. I was gutted when my mother delivered the last of my possessions to me, in two cardboard boxes, and got rid of my little bed. I'd been married and living in my own home for six months, so I knew that my feelings were completely irrational and stupid.

Now the boot is on the other foot. My children have their own homes but don't want to take away their guitars, My Little Ponies, gym equipment, bicycles, school books and clothes that they can't throw out but won't wear.

They are sitting pretty in pristine little houses and I've been landed with all the clutter! By the looks on their faces you'd think I was throwing them onto the street, homeless, when I ask them to remove their 'childhood treasures'. :rotfl:

Gingernutty

After renting a room in a flat owned by my Dad, I left to go to college and when I came 'home' for half term, found it had already been rented out to one of my brothers' mates.:eek:

I got the setee for one night before trailing back to college the following day.

The flat was considered my 'permanent' address whilst the address I had whilst I went to college was considered my temporary address.

When I went to work overseas (BUNAC/Camp America sort of thing) I was technically homeless.

Yes, it's not nice that it's become a 'dump' - they could at least have kept it nice for visitors(you included), but it's not your room anymore.

You've left home, OP. Why is your stuff anywhere else than with you? Why aren't you using it?

Make-it-3

Ditto what everyone else has said. It's no longer your house, be grateful they are storing your stuff at all, as it sounds a pretty clutter house if your poor stepmother's things are sitting in the shed.

I don't get your last post about the history of the kitchen things either, but if they are in use and there are no alternatives why not let them keep them on the condition that they buy you new replacements when you do get your own permanent place and need them.

Oldernotwiser

Person_one wrote: »

Does anybody actually move out of their parents' place to a 'better' house? :rotfl:
.

Quite often, I'd think.

Not everybody's parents live in large houses in nice areas - most of the places I lived in my twenties were better than my parents' flat.