Silly question about leaving home :-*

ziggles50

Hi
Just wondering for any of you who have children who have left home-
I left home about 9 months ago. I have stayed over just once- in my old bedroom in my own bed.
My room has become a dumping ground and so the bed is under loads of crap that is unused nad will not be moved in the near future. (the boxroom where my brother slept is kept in neater condition and i could sleep in there but i don't want to).
Is it unreasonable to want to or even insist that i am allowed to sleep im my own bed (linen is not mine). I won't be staying regularly but that's how i feel and i don't want to NOT stay just because i can't sleep where i want to.
I am just funny about this stuff and i am quite p'd off that this has been allowed to happen.
Furthermore i am still on the move and so have 'stuff' that i need to take back home until my next move. Do i have to put it in the loft or can i insist it be kept easily accessible in my room?
(Side note matter could be contentious as it is family home stepmum moved into and her 'stuff' is still inthe shed outside. Also i have kitchen stuff that is still in use-Is it unreasonable to ask that it be packed away for when i get my own place that will need such items. As opposed to having this stuff continue to be used and degrade further. Won't be able to furnish my own place as i'm too poor.)

Important thing is i don't want to cause ructions but i am a bit annoyed.

newcook

why are you annoyed?!?!! you moved out 9 months ago - it is not your room or your bed anymore it is the spare room and guest bed.

ETA: I know if I insisted to my mom that things remain in the spare room rather than the loft she would tell me I had X amount of days in which to find an alternative home for my stuff – especially if her stuff was in the shed!!!!!

clearing_out_my_pockets

I don't have children who have left home, but I left home almost two years ago now and I wouldn't even dream of telling my parents what they can and can't do in their own home. If they want to use your room as a 'dumping ground' that's their prerogative (sp?). 'My' room is currently used as overspill by my sister and my mum for their clothes / xbox / guitar etc. I don't live there any more, so it's none of my business what they do.

I think you're being a little unreasonable.

rachbc

you moved out you have no say what so ever in what they do with the room and furniture you used to use in my opinion. I didn't and didn't expect to when I moved out of my parents home - even when I left temporarily to go to Uni and came back for the hols. In fact my parents moved into my room!

Your stuff should be stored where ever and however its most convenient for the people who live in the house rather than for you. If I was the SM I'd move your stuff to the shed and bring mine in. If you don't like it I'm sure you could find a storage rental unit

CH27

You don't live there.
You don't contribute to the household costs.

Why should you be allowed to dictate what happens in someone else's house?

If you want to store stuff hire some space at a storage warehouse.

scheming_gypsy

you're a bit annoyed because a room that wasn't actually 'yours' is being used for something else?

You've moved out, you sleep where you're told to sleep and if they sell the house you won't be able to sleep in any rooms there.

Emmzi

you can't "insist" on anything, you don't live there any more!

a) grow up
b) my parents keep my room like a shrine to me 20 years after I moved out. Now THAT is creepy. Be glad they are mentally balanced!

Person_one

You can't insist on anything, you don't live there anymore!

What you can do is talk sensibly to your parents and explain that you feel a little hurt and unwelcome and would really appreciate it if you were able to keep a few things in your old room temporarily until you're more settled in your own place and that it would mean a lot to you to be able to sleep in your old room when you visit. (Don't call it 'my room', it isn't anymore!)

I have to say though, I don't understand what's wrong with sleeping in the boxroom if its only now and then, it would be different if they'd made it so you couldn't visit at all.

Person_one

Emmzi, snap!

ziggles50

Thanks people. I only ask as it's a little more complicated than than just a room but i get the picture. I shall shut my mouth, and de-sensitise

Mojisola

It sounds as if a session of de-cluttering would help. If everything was organised better, would there be room to store your stuff and let your stepmum bring her possessions into the house?

The kitchen stuff is difficult. You're wanting to be able to return to the house whenever it suits you and store your stuff there but are objecting to some stuff you've bought being used - isn't that a bit one-sided?