Silly question about leaving home :-*

geri1965_2

poppy_f1 wrote: »

your lucky you still have a bed at your parents....i dont

Not me, my old room is full of shelving and vintage record players/radios.

LadyMorticia

I agree with a majority of the others.

DH and I are moving out soon and his sister has already baggsied (for lack of a better word!) our room. We're cool with it. After all, we won't be living here anymore so it won't be our room any longer. We're even helping her pick out colour schemes for it and with how to arrange the furniture.:p

bacardi66

As soon as I left home (over 20 years ago now) a lodger was moved into my bedroom and I was very put out! Unfortunately I think its just part of leaving home and moving on with life - I would be worried if my bedroom had been kept as a shrine to me - but I do have friends in their 40s whose childhood bedrooms have been left the same as when they left home!

I was allowed to keep some of my stuff in the loft there - old school books, childhood toys etc until I bought my own place with enough storage space.

I think you just need try to not let it get to you - even though it can be hard. All these years on I now find it quite amusing when I look back on how I reacted - but I can understand how you feel!

onlyroz

newcook wrote: »

Im also very surprised that the brother hasn’t claimed the bigger room! If I was him I would have given it a month before moving out the boxroom!!

My brother had been gone 30 minutes before I moved my stuff into "his" room :beer:

I also have a friend who lived with his grandparents for a decade longer than was healthy. Within a few days of him moving into his own place, his grandparents put their house on the market and moved to Hastings. Quite obviously they had been desparate to get rid of him but were too polite to chuck him out.

OP - you're being unreasonable. It's not your house, and being allowed to stay there is a privilige and not a right.

Bailey101

When I moved out of my Mum's house, I was about 1.5 hrs away and I got a phone call from her asking where the screwdrivers were because she was taking my bed apart so she could move into 'my' room. According to my sister, she started moving stuff before the van was even off of the driveway

I can see where you're coming from, but I can see your folks side of it too. It's always going to be a wrench moving out of the family home, but you'll get used to it eventually - and just think about all the shenanigans you can get upto with out the oldies seeing

xxx

Person_one

Errata wrote: »

You've left home = Parents, I have no desire to live under your roof, I've found somewhere better.

Um, what?

Does anybody actually move out of their parents' place to a 'better' house? :rotfl:

I think it means 'Parents, I'm an adult now and ready to try and strike out on my own as that's the way its is and has been forever.'

Certainly, many of us these days end up going back, even more than once. I had to go back for a bit after uni and then again after a break up and redundancy in the same week. I can't convey how reassuring it is to know that you'll always be welcomed with open arms wherever your parents happen to be.

**Juice**

I think this is a bit daft really - it's not your house, you've hardly been back and it's up to them how they use it. The other way around for me, I moved out about 4 years ago and my room at my mams is still the same as it was, give or take a few bits and pieces that have migrated in there. I wouldn't dream of dicating to them how to use it though.

caeler

I moved out many years ago now, but I still remember the first time I came to stay over. It felt a bit weird but things had changed without me being there. Infact I stayed in the box room which I can recall between us siblings it was the worst room so again it felt a little odd. But I got over it, moved on, now it really doesn't matter. Occasionally I stay over now and I almost can't remember living there full time. I don't hold any anxiety over it now. I hope this helps you.

euronorris

I do think you are being unreasonable here. It is not unreasonable for you to expect to be welcomed into the home or stay overnight, but it is unreasonable of you to expect this to be on your terms and not theirs. It is their house after all.

My old room is no longer accessible as my parents have since moved house, but there is still a room in their new house which they often refer to as mine. My siblings are not afforded the same luxury, but there are several reasons for this. 1) it still has a lot of my old bedroom furniture in it, which my parents bought off me when I left (I had purchased it originally, not them), so the room looks very much like 'my' room still (but is often used for other guests too) 2) I don't have the luxury of just popping round. If I visit, it will always be for a minimum of one night's stay, often longer 3) my parents wanted to provide me with a safety net, a home to return to, if the move abroad or the relationship didn't work out. To be honest, I can't see them changing things now, until OH and I have invested in a property of our own, as it is still a possibility we could find ourselves unexpectedly back in the UK and in need of support.

My siblings, however, are all still based in the UK and are married, with properties of their own, so my parents do not view that they need to keep a room for them. However, my parents would of course welcome them home, and make room for them if they ever did need that kind of support.

However, all that said, I am very grateful for the luxury they have afforded me, I don't expect it, and I certainly wouldn't mind if they decided to use the room for something else instead. To be honest, it was tougher saying goodbye to the family home when they moved. I had lived in the same house (same room even!), from birth to age 25, so it was a bit of wrench to see that go.

As for the kitchen utensils, I am not clear on the situation there. Could you please answer peachyprice's q's in post 26?

ElleR

I called home the other night and my sister was moving her clothes into my wardrobe! :eek: I don't mind though, it's empty. Everything else is the same though. Actually had a funny conversation last time I went back about me being a "guest". I still have a key so we decided I wasn't a guest until I had to be let in! Have been living 3 hours away for over 2 years now. 5 if you include uni. It's quite fun to see what's migrated into my old room when I visit... Random soft toys, an old office chair, a coke can (brothers friends stayed there, didn't want to explore further!:A). As long as no one throws away my life size cardboard cut out of Orlando Bloom they can do whatever they like. :beer: