Contact issues

MarilynMonroe_2

I think a £66 school bag is far too much, he's flashing the cash and dictating when he see's the kids ... this is not on at all.
You are the one being left to be the bad guy when all you want is regular contact and fairness, and not having your kids spoilt.

Well, something needs to be done for the childrens sakes, they need stability and to know that mam and dad are on the same side ... if he continues as he is then you need to see a solicitor .. I can see you only have your kids interests at heart, good luck xxx

**Patty**

chirpchirp wrote: »

One bag, no that won't turn her into a brat but the constant buying will. I sent him a sharp email and he has returned it with a call and his usual apology. As far as he is concerned daughter has lied and he would like the bag back for now.

He has also agreed to send through future contact times and to discuss things with me first - hmm been here and had this conversation before but this time I'm going to make him stick to it.

All those that are blaming the Ex...did ya miss this bit?

Now.....as the mother of a teenage DD (and i'm divorced from her Dad)......There's been numerous occasions over the years where she's tried (and failed because...OMG.....we communicate) to play one of us off against the other......pleading with Dad that Mom's too mean/skint/whatever to buy her this bag that ALL her friends have & she'll be a right skank if she doesn't get one too.....

Come on people......how many of us have the Tshirt for this one:D

It's not ALWAYS the Ex's fault y'know;)

princessdreamer

My point was how can two people come to an agreement when one refuses but I suppose some people chose to think that magically everyone will become reasonable.

molliejo

My ex is too tight to buy the kids but he baby's them!!!

We have three and they are always trying it on, my ex and I communicate well and usually put a stop to it.

I'm sure that everyone in a broken family situation has problems and they'd probably be having the same problems if they weren't "broken". The important thing to remember is that children are their own people and they don't belong to either parent. My ex is useless really but he loves the kids more than anything, he baby's the youngest which drives me mad as he's nearly 8, but he did that with the other two.

Let your ex buy them and if he arranges stuff with them directly and you have nothing planned, let them go, they'll respect you more if they can go out and have a good time with Dad without you going off on one.

I let my ex baby mine as it was what he wanted, I carried on as I always have (being the one to say no and dish out the punishments). My daughter is 15 now and she respects me ten times more than she respects her dad. I know it's hard but stick to your own rules at home and try not to get angry if he buys them things that you said they can't have, he'll be the mug eventually, kids home in on a sucker!

make_me_wise

I agree with you molliejo. Its about respecting your kids as individuals and accepting that they have a right to their own relationship with their dad, without unecessary interference. Kids form their own opinions of the adults in their life in good time. By trying to control things to much you run the risk of them not seeing things for what they are and building up resentments.