Friends sponging off benefits, so disappointed

makingendsmeet_2

No_Future wrote:

What does DP stand for?

Darling Partner

roversbabe

No_Future wrote:

What does DP stand for?

DP - darling (or dearest) partner

Edit - ooops, cross posted

sheryldoc

Im jst pointing out that although its wrong to cheat the benefit sstem thats there to help people who are in genuine need..

Its also wrong to sneak about calculating your "friends" income out of sheer noseyness.. preaching and moaning about them on here rather than speaking to them direct (spineless), contemplating sneaking and reporting them behind their backs without even having mentioned it to them all based on "maybes".

A true friend a decent person would at least have the guts to speak to them, explain how they feel, point out why its wrong.. and maybe even ask if they have debts or other money worries thats making them even contemplate fraud.

but no.. what do they do.. the spend their own time calculating their income (that really cracks me up), they post on an internet forum about their dissapointment, consider "telling" on them.. rather than picking up the phone.. all they have to say is "listen M8 this is not only wrong but you could be in serious trouble.. if i kno then who else must kno are u struggling for money do u need any help (emotionally not necessarily financially)" ask if they hav looked into other things they may actually b entitled too.

If you did this and explained that if they didnt stop you would feel you had no choice but to report it and they insisted on continuing then do what you feel is right for you.

THAT is what a TRUE friend and a decent person would do..

So I think your jst nasty bitter and jelous and should take a good look at yourself before condemming others..

Jo_R_2

sheryldoc wrote:

Out of plain noseyness you mean!... sitting "working out" other peoples income!.. and how did your DP find out.. snooping through her letters?

Your jelous end of..

Thank god your not my friend.

Yes what they r doing is wrong.. but you dont even have the guts to speak to them to their face before working out their incomings.

At least speak to her first.. before reporting her (although she will prob think your an interfering git) but at least your concience will be clear.

Okay, so out of interest = out of nosiness, yep I was interested when I heard, more so because I work with benefits, and because I get tax credits myself.

DP found out because our friend told him.

Jealous? Or as I wrote, envious? Of the money? Yes. Of their principles? No.

Don't have the guts? Or wish to avoid a full-on warfare? That, yes. It's the guy who's our friend, the girlfriend isn't favoured especially by me anyway and I am sure he would have never even entertained the idea if it weren't for her. We really make nice because she is the mother of his child, and he was quite happy to discuss what they were doing with DP.

I was going to give it the subtle approach, let them know about tax credits, entitlements to housing benefit dependent on yr income and so on to see what they say.

Jo_R_2

LondonDiva wrote:

*tell them you're dissappointed in them and ask them to either stop it or take active steps to make sure that any part of their life that profits from the fraud has a limited impact on your life. (ie if they buy a new car, refuse to go in it as it is part of the proceeds of fraud)

*If this is just the beginning and could escalate, shop them without a thought. They are stealing from you and me.

*What example are they setting their child? That it's ok to steal just because nobody will find out? What if the council has to make a decision between paying for their fraudulent housing benefit claim or paying for a carer/home adaptions for a housebound/disabled person? The money comes from the same pot - there is no magical tap that replenishes the budget and self adjusts for theives and fraudsters.

*I :T:T:T:T you for worrying about the type of person your friend is revealing herself and partner to be and would be proud if you were my friend. Society and community is made up of tiny actions and interactions and chancing it because you can get away with something that means someone else is affected demeans us all.

Food for thought, LondonDiva, thanks.

sheryldoc

Jo_R wrote:

Okay, so out of interest = out of nosiness, yep I was interested when I heard, more so because I work with benefits, and because I get tax credits myself.

DP found out because our friend told him.

Jealous? Or as I wrote, envious? Of the money? Yes. Of their principles? No.

Don't have the guts? Or wish to avoid a full-on warfare? That, yes. It's the guy who's our friend, the girlfriend isn't favoured especially by me anyway and I am sure he would have never even entertained the idea if it weren't for her. We really make nice because she is the mother of his child, and he was quite happy to discuss what they were doing with DP.

I was going to give it the subtle approach, let them know about tax credits, entitlements to housing benefit dependent on yr income and so on to see what they say.

LoL.. You dont have a clue what ideas he would entertain if it "werent for her".. Im sure if he was against it.. he would have said or at least be ashamed enough that he would try and keep it as quiet as poss...

And how would you feel if while your asleep.. sumones sitting at a table with a calculator working out what u earn.. it would give me the creeps anyways.

If you dont have the guts or desire to discuss this with them.. then really.. you dnt have the guts to stand up for your beliefs.. by sneaking and reporting them.. your a coward.

Principles.. your havin a laugh wee yin!

sheryldoc

LondonDiva wrote:

*I :T:T:T:T you for worrying about the type of person your friend is revealing herself and partner to be and would be proud if you were my friend. Society and community is made up of tiny actions and interactions and chancing it because you can get away with something that means someone else is affected demeans us all.

She would be applauded if she was actually worrying.. but shes not.. shes not even the womans friend!.. Worrying would mean she would speak to her and her partner.. sit down face to face and speak to them.

Everything u said is very true.. and I agree wholeheartedly.. but I do not agree with frind sneaking and grassing friends.. I think that being a friend is all about trust and communication.


What her "friend" is doing is out and out wrong.. and must be stopped.. but the OP sitting working out the sums and not even speaking to the other peeps involved is Low and Sneaky

peter999

makingendsmeet wrote:

They way I see it is not so many years ago everyone started buying their council houses at a huge discount they made lots of money overnight. These are now the people I see who have never had anything other than a modest job and a modest life. They now life on the nice new estate at the top end of town both drive new cars, children in designer clothes etc. They afford this lifestyle today due to the fact the council gave them a nice little £40k plus head start.

Good post, shows the contradictions in this country.

LondonDiva wrote:

*If this is just the beginning and could escalate, shop them without a thought. They are stealing from you and me.

Nice society.
Neighbour turning on neighbour, friend(??) on friend.

The government have done a good job in brainwashing people.

Jo_R_2

sheryldoc wrote:

LoL.. You dont have a clue what ideas he would entertain if it "werent for her".. Im sure if he was against it.. he would have said or at least be ashamed enough that he would try and keep it as quiet as poss...

And how would you feel if while your asleep.. sumones sitting at a table with a calculator working out what u earn.. it would give me the creeps anyways.

If you dont have the guts or desire to discuss this with them.. then really.. you dnt have the guts to stand up for your beliefs.. by sneaking and reporting them.. your a coward.

Principles.. your havin a laugh wee yin!

I don't have a clue, I'm posing my opinion. I didn't say he was against it either - I was saying that I thought he wouldn't have suggested it himself.

We know what he earns so I didn't need to work that out. But if you mean working out how much benefit I am claiming that I'm not entitled to, then it would worry me that someone thought I would do that.

I do have the guts or desire to discuss it. I haven't done yet; that doesn't mean I won't.

And just to say that I haven't actually said I'm reporting them anywhere have I?

lewt

grass her up.