My son won't talk at school

Lunar_Eclipse

Another in the 'please try not to worry' camp.

My daughter did this for the first half term of Year One.Her teacher told me it was clear that my daughter didn't feel comfortable with her, but essentially it was a non-issue since she had 29 other more demanding kids in the class and my daughter was in the top ability sets for Maths & English. I knew full well she was choosing not to speak, having been absolutely fine at nursery and in reception.

She is now 10, still fairly quiet at school, but actually quite an extroverted character outside the classroom. She continues to find school a competitive, noisy environment and would rather stay at home, but has found ways to cope.

quietheart

I do know how you feel. Just act as normal as possible. Looking back I think my son picked up on my anxiety about him. I remember one Christmas Day he stopped speaking to us all. I felt so sick, it was like he'd got used to communicating without words so tried it at home. Thank God it didn't last but it really alarmed us.
Have you spoken to him about not talking? We were advised to, in a very relaxed way, just acknowledging that it's hard for him to speak at school. My son said he tried to speak but the words were stuck in his throat. We just had to work with him at getting them out. He seemed relieved that we knew, we reassured that him that sometimes children find it difficult to speak in school, it's not just him and it will get easier.
As previously mentioned I'd also recommend Smira, (http://www.smira.org.uk/forum/index.html) it's much easier to do this with the support of people who are going through the same thing. I know I felt like a total failure when mums i didn't know came up and said "so it's your child who can't talk, what's wrong with him??"

make_me_wise

There is a child in my class just like your son OP. He literally freezes and seems to clam up if I try to encourage his participation or it becomes his turn to do anything.

I am currently keeping a close eye on him. His speech is not impaired. Oddly enough in the playground with his peers he is chatty and engaging. He even happily leads a group of friends play.

I feel the child in my class likes to sit back, take everything in and only give away so much to adults and peers alike when he feels comfy to. In alot of ways they are good attributes to have. I have arranged for him to attend a small literacy group each day which has a maximum of 12 children in it. The teacher reports back to me that she is seeing steady progress and that he is gradually joining in.

If a child wont learn by the way you teach, then teach in a way they learn is my motto.

kjmtidea

I have tried talking to him twice about him not talking in school, just a relaxed 'oh did you talk to Mrs L today' type of thing, he said no and he would try again tomorrow and I left it at that.

quietheart

kjmtidea wrote: »

I have tried talking to him twice about him not talking in school, just a relaxed 'oh did you talk to Mrs L today' type of thing, he said no and he would try again tomorrow and I left it at that.

I don't suppose you are in a position to go into class with him?
After 1 yr of silence my son's school let me go in (with a yampy 2 yr old in tow) every day for the first 1/2 hour. He started to speak within a few days of this.

kjmtidea

quietheart wrote: »

I don't suppose you are in a position to go into class with him?
After 1 yr of silence my son's school let me go in (with a yampy 2 yr old in tow) every day for the first 1/2 hour. He started to speak within a few days of this.

I work Mondays and Fridays but I could on the other days if the school agreed. I'm not sure if it would be a good idea though, I would imagine that he would get used to me being there and then not want me to go.
Anythings worth a try though!

quietheart

School were worried about that too but I thought it was worth the risk. I made it really clear to my son that I was only staying til certain point (snack/reading time/break) and the teacher reinforced it. He was always fine with me leaving. He just relaxed when I was there and forgot himself and spoke. Once he'd done it once it got easier. The teacher had to leave the class to celebrate!