Help please!

Oldernotwiser

Sarah69 wrote: »

Thank you cavework that's very informative!

I'm not sure why everyone wants to slag my son off for being ill but that's fine I have a thick skin and don't really care what others think as many post negative comments on most posts I've read. I asked a question and as usual on these boards you just criticised, only a few people have commented in a positive way and thanks to those that have.

Sometimes, when everybody reacts in a different way from yours, it's worth considering that your attitudes (and those of your son) are wrong.

I cannot understand why you should think it normal for someone of your son's age to have this much time off sick in such a short time, which is why I suggested that the fact that you have a long term medical condition is colouring your thinking.

In a more normal job, more than one period of sickness of a couple of days in such a short period is likely to be dealt with by disciplinary action, so it was perfectly reasonable for your son's employer to have a word with him about the amount of time he's had off.

I do think that it's your attitude that's the problem in this situation, rather than anything else.

Louise03

FBaby wrote: »

My 8 year old had a chest infection in September. He also had a fever over 38 degres, but I still sent him to school with a dose of calpol beflore and told him to give it a go and that school could call me if it was too much for him. They did call me at 2pm, fair enough, but at least he gave it a try. The following day, he went with calpol that the school could give him and he was ok. Did your son even tried to go to work any of the days he took off sick, or did he wake up, he decided he wasn't too well, and got back to sleep? Maybe he employer just wasn't convinced of these illnesses because he never got to see it?

Sorry, I don't think sending son to school with a fever & chest infection is anything to gloat about a) The poor little chap must of felt terrible. b) What about infection control for godssake. I bet the teachers love your parenting style :rotfl:

It disgusts me having to work in close proximity with work collegues who have coughs and colds.

Sarah69, I hope your son soon finds employment. He will probably feel work is more purposefull if he finds something more challenging and where he is treated with respect.

dseventy

I have lots of problems with the OP response, but I don't see how it will help as it appears the OP is another planet!

Here goes....

Sarah69 wrote: »

Yes my son paid me money from his wages even if he only worked 1 day a week.

But the cost of keeping him does not change with how many hours he works! He costs x to keep and that is fixed.

By demanding an amount set on the amount he earns (eg a %) does not incentive him to earn more!

Sarah69 wrote: »

No he hasn't rung to apologise and I'm afraid I wouldn't expect him to, he stands up for himself just because he was employed by someone doesn't mean his boss can speak to him anyway he likes. His boss has made many digs in the past about him being off work ill, if your Ill your ill.

Why is apologising off the radar? Why is being challenged about sickness off the radar?

Being off ill and not performing your duties is an drag on the employer. They either do less work or get someone else in to cover (and that costs money).

Its cowardly and pathetic not to apologise in this situation.

Sarah69 wrote: »

So you wouldn't go to work with a chest infection that's fine, my son didn't after coughing all night Monday and all day Tuesday then coughing up blood, working out in the cold all day is not going to make him better is it?

Its ok to be ill. Everyone gets ill, its human nature.

What is not ok going mad when challenged about it.

Sarah69 wrote: »

I am on ESA, off sick from work since March 2010. This is not how I want to live my life, it has created debt which I have had to get a DRO for. I am in chronic pain 24/7 with no diagnosis as yet.

I assume thats directed at my comment about the whole house being on benefits?

Clearly it is. If you don't work as you are ill, thats fine. That does not mean you should not instill a work ethic in your child!

You are failing him IMO.

Sarah69 wrote: »

Nobody can live for nothing so if he is unable to get jsa there must be something else he can claim. If he wasn't living at home what would he do? I barely get by myself week to week having to live off a pittance. Obviously I would be better of working but just can't at the moment.!

All the more reason to have someone working in the house!

Sarah69 wrote: »

So if you hate people on benefit and cannot reply in a civil none sarcastic way the really don't bother. Thanks!

Your mistaking sarcasm for "the real world".

I tried.

D70

bobajob_1966

Louise03 wrote: »

Sorry, I don't think sending son to school with a fever & chest infection is anything to gloat about a) The poor little chap must of felt terrible. b) What about infection control for godssake. I bet the teachers love your parenting style

I don't think there is a lot of snogging goes on at primary school!

Louise03

bobajob_1966 wrote: »

I don't think there is a lot of snogging goes on at primary school!

Do you think that the only way germs are spread is by "snogging"?

FBaby

Louise03 wrote: »

Sorry, I don't think sending son to school with a fever & chest infection is anything to gloat about a) The poor little chap must of felt terrible. b) What about infection control for godssake. I bet the teachers love your parenting style :rotfl:

Of course my boy didn't feel terrible, he wasn't sent to jail. When he got to the point where he indeed starting to feel poorly, his teacher called me. She certainly didn't say anything. Last time he was poorly and I took him to the doctor, she said that as long as children could get dress in the morning and get some breakfast, they are ok to go to school. I happen to agree with her. The positive thing is that my boy had a bit of a sore throat on Monday. When his sister asked him he was going to try to stay at home his answer was 'no way, I'm going to school'

It disgusts me having to work in close proximity with work collegues who have coughs and colds

It digusts me when colleague who coughs or have a cold think it is enough of a jutification for staying home and I have to do their job in the meantime whilst they are at home having a lazy day.

dseventy

I missed this classic comment on my reply and just had to respond!

Sarah69 wrote: »

Nobody can live for nothing so if he is unable to get jsa there must be something else he can claim. If he wasn't living at home what would he do?

(My bold).

Perhaps he would have not been in such a rush to quit his job and lose his money?

While he knows "mum" will support him, why would it woory him?

I hope you see past the "comments you don't want to hear" and hear the vast majority giving the message that your boy needs your boot, not your agreement!

D70

Louise03

FBaby wrote: »

Of course my boy didn't feel terrible, he wasn't sent to jail. When he got to the point where he indeed starting to feel poorly, his teacher called me. She certainly didn't say anything. Last time he was poorly and I took him to the doctor, she said that as long as children could get dress in the morning and get some breakfast, they are ok to go to school. I happen to agree with her. The positive thing is that my boy had a bit of a sore throat on Monday. When his sister asked him he was going to try to stay at home his answer was 'no way, I'm going to school'

It digusts me when colleague who coughs or have a cold think it is enough of a jutification for staying home and I have to do their job in the meantime whilst they are at home having a lazy day.

If the teacher called you at 2pm to collect him from school, he was not well enough to be there and certainly not well enough to go the next day, even taking his bottle of drowsiness inducing calpol with him.


I would rather do a little extra work than catch some nasty virus. Last winter a collegue came to work thinking she was being a hero with a nasty virus/infection, it spread around my work place like wild fire. She sneezed and spluttered constantly, once with her face inches from mine. Consequentley I caught it and was ill all over the Christmas holidays.

thorsoak

Sarah, I'm sorry that you are getting angry at the responses that you are getting - but can you not see that we are trying to help you to get your son on the right road?

At 20 years of age, he is - or should be - at his peak physical condition, and quite frankly, working p/t for a window cleaner is not the best use of his abilities. This surely is not his first job? Hasn't he worked for other people/companies?

As I understand the system, I don't think he is going to get much in the way of handouts - and to be fair, he hasn't put much in yet, has he? But even so, he will get something - not a lot - but something.

In the meantime, you've got to ensure that he has a decent attitude to work, can be respectful to those whom he works with/for - in other words, he has to learn to be an adult!

bobajob_1966

Louise03 wrote: »

Do you think that the only way germs are spread is by "snogging"?

Of course not, but the likelihood is that the child picked up the germs at school, so what is the point in keeping them at home? Coughs and colds are a part of growing up, unless they are very poorly (which would take far more than a day to recover) they are best to be at school distracted from feeling a bit under the weather.