Unfaithful but not physically?

Tish_P

Wow, if DUTR is telling you to leave, make a rope ladder from your bedsheets and go out the window! I was expecting the usual "but have you thought, if you leave, you'll be... SINGLE?!"

DUTR

Tish_P wrote: »

Wow, if DUTR is telling you to leave, make a rope ladder from your bedsheets and go out the window! I was expecting the usual "but have you thought, if you leave, you'll be... SINGLE?!"

heh heh , I'm not telling her to leave, but the reality this time is that the writing is on the wall.
Imagine if neither were with 'Fred' if the Op and Lucy's circumstance are as they are, it is obvious who Fred would be with, the odds are against the OP sadly

73Jonathan123

Just wanted to send you some hugs...no good with advice but thinking about you...

Turtle

Wanted to contribute to this as I have a view from the other side. A lot of this sounds really bad and I regret what went on, but an honest view from his side might help. After being with my fiance for 14 years I was bored with being taken for granted and having to do pretty much everything in our house. I still loved my OH very much but couldn't go on as we were. I had become very good friends with another man and this developed into more, though nothing physical ever happened we became very close indeed. I won't go into all the details as it's not relevant but I told my OH I wanted to split up. My OH didn't believe there wasn't anyone else involved (I wasn't leaving for the other person by the way - he was married). My OH found out and told everybody which was very humiliating but I'm sure you'll all think I deserved it. Anyway I had to cut off all contact with the other man as he was desparetely trying to save his marriage. I found this incredibly difficult and painful but after a few weeks the fog started lifting and I wondered what on earth had been going through my mind - I had never even looked at another bloke in all the time we'd been together. My OH really started trying hard and after about 6 weeks apart (though we'd stayed in the same house) we decided to give it another try. That was two years ago now and we're happy (and so is the other bloke far as I know). I know it was the right decision and I'm glad we didn't throw all those years away.

I know this isn't exactly the same situation and there aren't as many years invested, but I wanted to say that just because your partner has strong feelings for another person, it doesn't mean your relationship is doomed, as long as you both want it to work out.

pinkfluffythings

Again thanks everyone for the replies.

I'm quite happy to be single again, in fact would rather prefer it some of the time.

This other girl knows nothing about any of this, his feelings for her or whats going on with us.

His argument is that he hasn't actually done anything physical

DUTR

pinkfluffythings wrote: »

Again thanks everyone for the replies.

I'm quite happy to be single again, in fact would rather prefer it some of the time.

This other girl knows nothing about any of this, his feelings for her or whats going on with us.

His argument is that he hasn't actually done anything physical

We have to remember guys n gals are different creatures, the 'done anything' means less to some than the friendship type intimacies.

victory

So he has not done anything about his feelings but you found out through facebook ?

Why did he do that you have to ask him....

pinkfluffythings

victory wrote: »

So he has not done anything about his feelings but you found out through facebook ?

Why did he do that you have to ask him....

He was being "silly" and didn't know what to do with his "feelings"
Can you tell by my "" that I'm cross lol If I didn't laugh I would cry again, my wee heart is broke in pieces here

mummyroysof3

what a horrible situation to be in.

what has he said about it? how much does he care that he has hurt you?

what he should be telling you is how much he loves you, begging for you to forgive him and telling you how he will cut of all contact with her..thats what i would be expecting to hear anyway

victory

pinkfluffythings wrote: »

He was being "silly" and didn't know what to do with his "feelings"
Can you tell by my "" that I'm cross lol If I didn't laugh I would cry again, my wee heart is broke in pieces here

So, he wrote them down, you found out and now he has more problems than he could every imagine and you are heart is broken, if as mummyroy says he is not down on his knees begging for forgiveness is he going to act on these feelings, is he shell shocked he got found out, would he have told you, does he want to leave, does he feel trapped, is the relationship not as good as he imagined it to be?

Only he can answer these questions because he knows what he is thinking and why he did that