Unfaithful but not physically?

thegirlintheattic

Best off out of there.

*hugs*

Lotus-eater

pinkfluffythings wrote: »

yet I feel that he should have 1) nipped it in the bud asap 2) not have developed feelings if he really 100% loved me like I loved him.

OK, 1. You can't always choose who you fall for.
2. You've said you have been going through big problems recently. It's usual to tell other friends things about your relationship and sometimes the grass does look greener on the other side.

He hasn't done anything about it, I would say because he respects and still loves you.

It's not over yet, but I would agree you need to ask him to choose. If you still want him, you have to decide that first.

snowmaid

Sometimes love 'cools'. We can't control who we love. If he is falling for her, as much as it hurts, there is nothing you can do about it. But would you want to do anything about it? If my OH said he had fallen for someone else, I wouldn't hang around trying to change his mind.

If it is a case of a new 'excitement' and he 'thinks' himself in love, then again, would you want to remain with him when he 'comes to his senses'?

I would go, if for nothing else, but to give him space to make up his mind and if you meet someone while he is making up his mind, well then. that could be his loss. Whatever you do, don't hang around waiting for some scraps to fall your way. You are worth more than that.

Good luck with whatever you decide.

POPPYOSCAR

You deserve better.

pinkfluffythings

Thank you everyone for the quick replies

thorsoak

Personally, I would find it far harder to forgive unfaithfullness of the heart/mind than I would physical unfaithfulness.

Think about the future ...how do you see yourself and your OH in two years' time? In five years' time? Will he still be yearning for the unattainable? Only you know the answer.

Best wishes for whatever you decide. {{hugs}}

Bubby

He has continued to be in contact with someone he knew he had feelings for?

This isn't respectful its him developing a relationship with this girl whilst still having the security of being with you:mad:

I would kick him to the kerb pronto you have been through a really tough time and he should have been your biggest supporter not someone who has been sneaking behind your back and discussing it with his work colleagues.

Tish_P

I think I'd leave, certainly, but possibly long before this stage. Those "anger issues" don't sound fun at all.

It seems odd, though, that we keep having these "my OH did X and it really hurt me, and then he said he wouldn't do it again but now he has, what would you do?' kind of threads. It's as if the posters - almost all of them women - are making their case to a parole board. "Am I allowed to leave now?"

The thing is that it doesn't matter what we think. You don't have to have a good reason to leave. If he makes you unhappy, go. If he makes you happy but not happy enough, go. You're young, kids don't come into it, three years aren't a waste if you learn from them. Only stay if you actively want to give him a second (third? Tenth?) chance. Good luck, whatever happens - and so good to hear about the all-clear!

deb68_2

sending you lots of (((((((((((((((((HUGS))))))))))))))))))))))))))
you must be feeling very hurt,you deserve so much better
Am so glad you had the all clear,

Now grab hold of life do the things we all say will do it another day
Keep smiling an Hold your head up

love deb

DUTR

Don't you want your fiance to be happy (even if it meant not being with you?)
It is clear that on this occasion you should 'leave' as one of you will, and you have a bigger fight on your hands than Lucy