Long Story... Any advice???

FarmersWife_2

jungle_jane wrote: »

Not sure i understand this...there are many ways to search for people - Google, the electoral roll, Facebook, yell.com....i'm not sure that these places have alarm systems?

Best of luck with it OP...awful thing to go through

Hi Jane

We're not on the Electoral Role, we are anonymous.... The Chief Inspector of the Police Force fills a form in and wamo you disapear...

Facebook... Yes thats a dodgy one... No details on there and no friends I dont check out...

Yell.com ... Phone not disclosed...

Erm... Every Utility company that does have my details has a letter from Chief Inspector and there are red markers on all our accounts...

Yes it means we cannot get loans or bank accounts... but we manage

C x

FarmersWife_2

Triker wrote: »

To be frank, it will probably being monitored but you will not be told anything as its a seperate case.

Violent men especially those with previous DV and child abduction issues are monitored when new babies are involved or indeed they move in with a woman with children. The new baby may be put on the CP register at birth, the OP won't be party to that info.

The Mother will be asked what she is doing to keep her child safe and if she 'fails to protect' other steps may be taken.


Hopefully.

Hi Triker....

I wasnt told. Nobody told me and my ex's partner told me afterwards when I found out about her that she had actually told Social Services I was pregnant and by then he already had a conviction for battery in front of her child

C x

FarmersWife_2

Thanks for all your support.. it really means a lot to me. I have moved 100's of miles away from my family and friends and the only people who know where we are is our parents. We have left jobs and friends and never contacted them again.

2 days until court and I have finally received the 'court bungle' it just states that ex wants this to be the final hearing (I agree) and that he states that if he 'promises' to do the things he has been ordered to do then contact should start :rotfl::rotfl: Dont make me *!£*$%*$ laugh.... He has had 3 months since the last court date when he was supposed to have done these things by Thursday and he hasnt !!!

So it should be 'interesting' to say the least

C x

Molly41

Another who is full of admiration. I would be very careful about writing too much on these threads. I know they are they anonymous but they wont be to him and I would hate for him to "find" you. Really good luck but it sounds to me like you are a very capable and versatile woman xx

FarmersWife_2

Thanks Molly... chances of him finding me without coming up against quite a few Farm Managers in the process are pretty slim and farms are dangerous places to be trespassing on

C x

rising_from_the_ashes

Awwww hun, sorry I've nothing useful to add ... just wanted to say what an incredibly brave person you are.

You've done everything you can to get out of a horrible (and that doesn't even begin to describe it - but words are slightly lacking at this time of the morning!) relationship, protect your family and start a new life.

Your ex is unfortunately one of those people who just can't move on and wants to control and dominate and punish and just can't let go. He's a bully (and that's being polite) and that's why he's doing it.

Wishing you all the best for the court case - hopefully this will be the end of your nightmare and you can all look forward to your new life together without any fear of him trying to wriggle back into your lives.

betheebee

Having read through, what sticks out is that you have all the facts logged by the police, school, etc. He has an idiot for a legal representative. No contest Hun. Be strong on Thursday like you have been all through this nightmare.
No Judge on this earth would allow him access with his record. Remember the Judge you have on Thursday can see straight through the scum of a man. xx

bargainbird

You blooming well give it to em on Thursday.......When i went through courts etc...CAFCAS had my ex sussed out and said from the beginning "give him enough rope and he'll hang himself". Which 2 yrs later he eventually did;). It's a very long process but this final hearing is your chance to point out the the dangers which you and your family would be in. The judge should have already read the notes. The judge will take on board what CAFCAS's recommendations are as they are an independent in the case and would never go against what they suggest as the courts work very closely with them and to go against what they have suggested makes CAFCAS's job a waste of time, CAFCAS do what is best for the child
Like others have said go in with your head held high and yes he is taking his new GF to try to unnerve you/make your jealous (yes i know fat chance) but thats how he will be thinking.
Can your court offer you a side room to sit and wait ?

I'll be thinking of you xx

jungle_jane

you are an amazing person FW...i'm really wishing you well and sending buckets of good vibes your way. People like you really humble me and make me realise how much adversity others have to go through just to lead their lives. Next time i moan about something i am going to think about what you are dealing with and be grateful instead xx

Triker

FarmersWife wrote: »

Hi Triker....

I wasnt told. Nobody told me and my ex's partner told me afterwards when I found out about her that she had actually told Social Services I was pregnant and by then he already had a conviction for battery in front of her child

C x

I'm sorry you weren't told, it should really be some kind of offence not to inform new partners that their partner has DV and Violence/sexual offences against them. Trouble is the Data Protection Act has a lot to answer for which is not helpful for situations such as these. It doesn't have to be the former partner (victim) but someone 'official' could just make relevent parties aware.

You've pointed out that his new partner is aware, you know, that she will have her own journey to go on with this man as will the child. Be that as it may, your ex still sounds controlling, arrogant and unapologetic re his behaviour, not exactly the basis for someone who has changed.

I will be quietly cheering you on from the sidelines on Thursday. x