Long Story... Any advice???

Triker

Just wanted to add my virtual support to you.

I also reckon that its people like you Farmerswife, that give many others who suffer such appalling abuse, the strength to leave, survive and make a new life.

So hold your head high, it sounds like its nearly over.

Remember someone may read this and take action in their situation, just because you have shown that you have done it.

Sadly you ex's new partner will have her own journey to take but as she clearly hasn't taken anything on board thats going to be her issue.

chesky369

This man obviously has psychopathic tendencies, which also means that he can be very charming - at least until you get to know the bad side. So the OP is probably worried that he will seem a lovely person to everyone else, so it's wonderful that the judge has got his number by now.

OP you're obviously an incredibly competent person - many of us here wouldn't be able to do what you've done. Congratulations so far and keep up the good work.

happyhaddock_2

I have no advice Farmerswife but as a fellow mother just wanted to say "be strong" and protect your little girl. I hope everything goes well for you xx

gratefulforhelp_2

Unfortunately we can't make sense of anything if we can't "judge".

There is no point trying to second guess this man from the point of view of your (presumably) rational mind, when he is clearly not at all rational.

One suspects his job gave him up rather than him giving it up? He probably wasn't getting a lot of work, the world is small and word gets around.

You have the high road from what you say, keep to it, sounds like you're nearly there.

If he can't manage a fortnightly mailing, he has no ammunition left.

Lots of luck and Good Wishes as you rebuild your lives.

sassyblue

I don't know anyhting about the workings of a court but l do know your ex is (amongst many things!) a control freak and a bully.

He's doing it to try and p*ss you off, to be a thorn in your side and try to exert what little 'control' he has left.

Well done for getting this far l'm sure he'll fade away like the bad smell he is once the new baby comes along, he'll have someone else to control then. Poor woman and baby.

Mrs_P_Pincher

Again - not patronising - bloody well done! It sounds to me as though this is going OK. A judge has now reserved the case to himself so you don't have to keep explaining yourselves, all the reports lean towards 'no contact', he's done nothing about the indirect contact and it is a fact of life that how hard a man prosecutes his contact case is inversely proportional to his involvement with the child while the parents were in a relationship.

Hold your nerve, keep telling the truth and remember, his barrister is acting on instructions. To a greater or lesser extent he is doing what he's told.

Plenty of support on here. We'll all be rooting for you.

Mrs P P

rachbc

I don't have any advice I'm afraid but you sound amazingly brave and I really hope this nasty piece of work drops this eventually. You are doing brilliantly for you and your daughter.

newcook

What a horrible little man – sounds like you are well rid of the bullying so-and-so (please replace so-and-so with any swear word you feel applicable as MSE wont let me put a swear word!)

lostinrates

Best of luck Farmer's wife.

It is worth pointing out, for your benefit, that the barrister should NOT be lying. In fact the barrister cannot AIUI, knowingly tell a lie to the Court, though they must act in the best interests of their client a certain duty is also owed to the court. Its very worrying indeed if this is happening. Has the judge been aware of this?

FarmersWife_2

Thank you all of you... its so unfair.

My new partner will have to start work at 3am in the morning, leaving at 2am, so he can get the harvest back to the farm for processing. Boss Man wont have anybody else lift this particular veg because supermarkets would turn the whol lot back if they see a bruised or chopped with the harvester one.

By doing this it means he would be able to drive me to court... Im in no fit state to drive there or back usually.

Its all so unfair... Both OH and myself are both tax payers so we are technically paying for ex's barrister whilst we cannot afford one for ourselves...

One note though.... After seeing the performance the Barrister has given I am kinda glad I dont have one... He has been absolutely horrific. Basing his whole arguments on something he has read wrong which has quickly been squashed by either myself or the Judge !!

C x