Ex missus wants to claim CSA off me

epona_2

Thankyou 3plus1 my feeling in the beginning was that the baby would either make or break my daughter as a person. It is definatly the making of her. Shes shown maturity I didn't think possible and has done her utmost to care for her unborn child. The only reason I came on here in the first place is because I will not have Adam making slanderous comments publicly about my family.I came on to set the record straight. Adam is very good at sucking people in and gaining attention and unfortunatly it works.
My partner had a 17 year old son who he paid the CSA for for 16 years accept for 8 months he had off work with a broken back. If Adam was wanting to be a good father he wouldn't begrudge helping his own child. It's not my child but as my grandchild I have no problem making sure all it's needs are met and that it doesn't go without.

I just hope Adam learns to be a man, grows up and takes it on the chin like a father should for the sake of a child who didn't ask to be here.

Zara33

I think if "Adam" is in any doubt whatsoever about paternity then he should take a DNA test and not be bullied into being told that he is the father, there are plenty of father's out there who assumed that the child was their's only to find out a few years down the line that infact they are not the biologal father.

SO DO A DNA!!

Tustastic

raq wrote:

best out of it I say.

Slept with 9 people at the age of 15.....What is the world coming too. Am 39 and have only been with 3.

Someone with a little bit more expertise will be along shortly.

:rotfl: :rotfl:
You might want to edit that post when you've read it back a couple of times.:);)

epona_2

Zara33 Adam is in no doubt that he is the father his story only changed when he got a new girlfriend a few weeks ago because she doesn't like the fact that he will be a father.Up until then he was totally sure. he claims she has slept with tom !!!!!! and harry yet is unable to name a single one as I've asked him.
I hope he does have the DNA test done!

Al Mac an excellent point.
My children were brought up the same and are 15 and 16. My son is at school has good grades, has a job, plays in golf and pool competitions and is in a band and recently played his first gig. So that just goes to show that no matter what you do and how ever good your intentions maybe there is no set outcome that you can totally control.

djdido2

Good point Epona. My sister is now 30 but she found herself in this situation at the same age as your daughter. She was an absolute nightmare!!! Strange because my elder sister and I would never have dared step out of line particularly with our dad, but she pushed and pushed the limits to the astonishment of myself and big sis!!

Now we are good people who had strict parents and she still went down the wrong road!! Not changed either, she is still the same!


Her kids are now 14 and 15 and they are fantasic kids!!

3plus1

Of course you want to defend your daughter's honour. You're her mum

I don't dispute the fact that Adam is the father of your grandchild, but I do think a DNA test would be a good idea further on down the line, as maybe seeing the test results in black and white will help him accept the reality of the situation. I get the impression that your daughter might have said a few things to hurt him, which have made him doubt he's actually the father, and well, maybe he just needs to see for himself that the baby is his. Your daughter knows who she's slept with, and what she's done, but he doesn't.

Even if he accepted beforehand that he was going to be a father, you have to admit that it would be very easy for him to pretend the pregnancy doesn't exist. After all, he presumably isn't seeing your daughter regularly anymore, and when he looks down at his stomach, he doesn't see a big expanded belly with a little baby happily kicking away there. I think maybe if he hears the facts from a neutral third party (i.e. a doctor), he will properly come to terms with the situation.

Your daughter knows she's going to become a mother, beyond all shadow of a doubt. And she's grown up since finding that out. Maybe Adam isn't sure he's going to be a father, and when he realises the truth, maybe he'll start growing up too. You have to hope.

Anyway, with the DNA evidence, he will have to support the child whether he thinks it's his or not.

I'm not really sure where you go from here. Obviously you and your daughter are planning to make the most of this situation, but how do you feel about allowing Adam visitation when he finally accepts the truth? He hasn't acted very well, and he's a registered sex offender. But he is the father.

jackieb

Sorry if this has been posted before but the OP joined today. Radio 1 did a link to this site today. Might be a coincidence. Just a thought.

epona_2

djdido2
My ex husband and I went through a similar thing with his daughter who was in her twenties it took years for her to see through her boyfriend as well.

When I was 16 my mum didn't like my boyfriend and told me not to see him so I moved in with him. It was 13 months before I came to my senses. What peole seem to forget is teenagers rebel with alot of them the more you tell them the more they rebel against you.

To be honest I'll be glad when the DNA test is done :-)

On the visitation it's the baby that counts here as far as I'm concerned. We'd have no problem with supervised visitation in light of the situation but by that I mean Adam would have to be consistant as so many fathers soon loose interest. It's all well and good doing the nice things like visiting but nappies still need to be paid for.

skintas_2

outta interest are adams parenst on the scene they havent been mentioned once

epona_2

My feelings are the person who acts like a father and loves is as their child is their father. My ex husband brought my children up from an early age. he does a 240 mile round trip every week to see them. Our land has 2 houses on so one is his holiday home where he stays one or 2 nights a week to visit them. he's their step father but as far as we are all concerned he is 'dad'.