Ex missus wants to claim CSA off me

epona_2

welshcakes.
Yes as I understand what you say is right and I wish I knew why it wasn't sorted by the police but from what I witnessed they are very much controlled by what SS say. The SS tried to maintain their relationship which I couldn't never understand as as far as I can see they were going against the law. So on that one I'm non the wiser but someone is no doubt answerable to it but who? so long as the police and SS are inagreement what are you meant to do?

Pink_butterfly_3

Blimey, i was only away from this thread for a few hours and look whats happened since. I notice Adam or whatever his name is hasn't come back now.

I really don't know what to think anymore. I don't think that the young lady was an innocent in this, just look at her website! Whether this Adam was doing everything you claim or not, who can say? You are her mother and you are going to defend her to the hilt no matter what.

I have to say though, the 'raping in my sleep' rubbish is total crap!

My final word on this thread (i'll let it die after this), is that if my daughter came home pregnant at 14/15 I would be so disappointed and upset. Then again, my daughter will never be stupid enough to do that. She will be taught what is right from an early age and will certainly not be allowed to run riot with lads of 19/20.

Wheres Jeremy Kyle when you need him?

epona_2

Zara what would you then do if your daughter went out the window and you found out in the morning she was gone? what would you have done in my case? The whole point of SS and the police is to intervene and keeps kids safe they didn't bother in this case.
Had I have literally grabbed my daughter and dragged her out the police would have arrested me.
I went and removed her from the house because he was forcing her into an abortion she didn't want. I later found out he had planned to take her to the hospital behind my back ON THE BUS and SS had offered to refund his bus fair. What do they think was happening at hospital? that she was having a tooth removed?
Unless you have a daughter who is completely brainwashed and controlled by someone like that you have no idea what you are up against.

Zara33

epona why is your daughter still up at this hour?
bebo has her showing as online

Zara33

epona wrote:

Zara what would you then do if your daughter went out the window and you found out in the morning she was gone? what would you have done in my case? The whole point of SS and the police is to intervene and keeps kids safe they didn't bother in this case.
Had I have literally grabbed my daughter and dragged her out the police would have arrested me.
I went and removed her from the house because he was forcing her into an abortion she didn't want. I later found out he had planned to take her to the hospital behind my back ON THE BUS and SS had offered to refund his bus fair. What do they think was happening at hospital? that she was having a tooth removed?
Unless you have a daughter who is completely brainwashed and controlled by someone like that you have no idea what you are up against.

From the op he states that he lived in your house, you knew he was 19, where were you between the hours of 4pm and 10pm ? why were you not protecting your daughter......because you were happy about their relationship that's why.
Now your daughter is pregnant and the father wants nothing to do with either your daughter or the baby, you contact SS and the police regarding underage s*x thinking you would manange to hurt him like he has hurt your daughter!

epona_2

Pink-butterfly
I've never said my daughter was innocent in all of this as she isn't! she was a total nightmare to say the least and extremely out of order. If my daughter would to go out and steal a car and drive it I'd report her for it!
When she was rid of Adam and came home she was very withdrawn and had lost alot of her confidence he completely wore his down making her emotionally reliant on him. She was a 14 year old who was silly enough to fall for a 19 year old and be ruled by him with all his silly tales of love and romance. if you take a look about there are plenty of woman 30 and over who fall for just the same thing who live in disruptive relationships because they beleive their 'ruler' when they say they love them.
he tried to turn her against me as a way of pulling her closer to him still.

No as I say she isn't innocent but she has learnt from it and all experience is learning how ever hard.

On the upside, the way she is dealing with the pregnancy and everything surrounding it is 100% at 7 months she was beaten up by a 15 year old girl adam had slept with. her face was a terrible mess and why? because she was holding her stomach to protect it. I know grown women who wouldn't have done that. She was outside the local shops and was attacked out of the blue. and yes I did have the girl arrested for it.

3plus1

Assuming this sorry state of affairs is in fact a true story and not an internet wind up...

What's the point of throwing blame around? The ex-boyfriend has been placed on the sex offenders register, and hopefully learnt a few lessons. I'm not entirely sure if Adam is just scared and making up stories to make his ex's paternity claim sound invalid, or if he really is that naive and thinks it's possible for a man to have sex in his sleep and not notice, and that contraceptive pills are the size of painkillers. It's possible. Teenage girls know all about sex and contraception because they have to, whereas boys tend to find out all this stuff in drips and drabs, at an older age.

The police have dealt with the matter and he's been punished accordingly. It is wrong to sleep with a minor, no matter how close she is to the age of 16, but Adam has been stuck on the register and has to suffer the consequences of staying in employment with that against his name. It's not for us to judge - the law has already done that.

Yes, the girl is pregnant, and that is not an ideal situation for someone of her age. Yes, she probably did lead Adam on, but no, doesn't mean she's entirely to blame for the situation. Someone said that teenagers look more grown up these days, but a 19 year old will be able to tell the difference between another 19 year old and a 14 year old. People tend to be quite accurate at judging the ages of others who are a couple of years older or younger than them. Everyone has a duty to ensure that their sexual partners are legal and consenting. Especially the older party, i.e. Adam.

Most of you are missing the point. At this stage, who cares who is to blame, and who didn't act when they should have? What's done is done.

The girl's mother has made it very clear that she is going to stand by her daughter and support her. Good things can come out of difficult situations, and maybe having a baby is going to make the girl grow up, and become the person that her mother clearly thinks she is. Maybe she'll be an excellent mother herself. Who knows? There's so much potential for the situation to made into a positive one.

I wish Epona and her family the very best of luck. I think it's brilliant you're being so supportive of your daughter. I don't know if she deserves your support, but the fact that you are so willing to give it, means that she will get through this difficult time, and I think she'll probably grow up a lot. You said yourself that you think she's a changed person now that Adam is off the scene.

I'm certainly not saying that all underage girls should have babies, but you have to try to turn negatives into positives, and becoming a mother will give her an insight in how you've acted with her, and hopefully improve your relationship to the point where she actually takes your advice under consideration, and doesn't end up in such a situation again.

All the best.

epona_2

Zara33, i wasn't able to stop there relationship I WASN'T happy about it thats why I tried to get the SS and the police to stop it (which they didn't).
My daughter is in bed just because that page is open doesn't mean she isn't in the land of nod.

Al_Mac

I think statements such as I'd never let my daughter........, what is your daughter....... etc Are highly amusing.

Until you've had your child grow up, you never know what they'll do.

I've seen respectable children run riot and "riff raff" children be beyond reproach.

I've seen a teenage lad demand to go into care and the SS through him back to his parents, telling him not to be so bloody stupid

Anyway, this is my only post on this, I hope

Epona, I hope you get things in order, I hope your daughter realises the mistakes she's made and the hurt she's caused.

Adam, you need to grow up a bit and take responsibility for you actions, get the test done, then be a proper parent to the baby, if it is yours.

All of you need to try to talk to each other, like adults, even the daughter.

Night all

djdido2

Excellent post 3plus1 and Al Mac!