Pinot's Potty debt free journey!!!

princesst84

lucielle wrote: »

First thing, you aren't a bad mum. Your children do lots of activities, which they enjoy and you fully support them, by financing, chauffeuring etc. My DDs and I want a horse, sadly its still not going to happen.

This is one of lifes lessons. I can't afford to give them riding lessons, occasionally they go on a friends pony. Basically what I'm trying to say badly, is that it is the pits saying no and you will probably have a sleepless night worrying over it but you need to get your budget on an even keel. There will still be horses when she's 16 or 17.

Have some hugs and I hope I've made some sort of random sense.
L

Well said Lucielle x

grannyx2

Hello honey, I'm so sorry you are feeling this way, it always hits home hardest when you feel it is your DDs that are suffering from the lack of money.

However, I tried to give my DC everything they asked for in an attempt to salve my guilt for an unhappy home life. This has in turn led to my high debt now and has not done my DS any favours. He still wants everything he wants, to the level of getting into debt himself.

You are teaching your DDs a valuable life lesson by having to say no sometimes, they both get more than a lot of DC and I know from what you say are grateful for that but sadly sometimes you just have to say No.

You are a fantastic mum who is doing her very best for her family

Granny x

Piquant_2

grannyx2 wrote: »

Hello honey, I'm so sorry you are feeling this way, it always hits home hardest when you feel it is your DDs that are suffering from the lack of money.

However, I tried to give my DC everything they asked for in an attempt to salve my guilt for an unhappy home life. This has in turn led to my high debt now and has not done my DS any favours. He still wants everything he wants, to the level of getting into debt himself.

You are teaching your DDs a valuable life lesson by having to say no sometimes, they both get more than a lot of DC and I know from what you say are grateful for that but sadly sometimes you just have to say No.

You are a fantastic mum who is doing her very best for her family

Granny x

Listen to granny and Lucielle!

I will add what I know.

Loaning a horse or a pony is only a fraction of what they actually cost. On top of livery/stabling costs you have to factor in shoes, insurance, feed and or supplements, possibly bedding, annual vaccinations, dentistry, rugs, grooming products, tack, riding boots, jodhpurs etc.....

Then come the shows. Be they dressage or jumping they cost in transport, show costs, clothing extra to everyday riding gear....

And as you have already said - time. Inordinate amounts of time. Regardless of the weather, your health, their health, holidays or whatever!

A pony horse is a huge commitment and one of the most expensive things you can take on!

You are not a bad mother for saying no. When your daughter is old enough to work and still wants a pony, the two of you can come to an agreement.

Money worries are already stressing you out, don't add to them. Your daughter will not love you any the less for saying no!

All my love

Great Aunt Piq

grannyx2

For you:



x

cazmanian_minx

It's a shame you're not near me, I've got one in the field who's going to be doing mostly nothing over winter and I'd love an enthusiastic teenager to come and ride him but there aren't any round here. You're absolutely not a bad mum. Is there a particular pony she's set her heart on sharing? Have a look in local tack shops, Gumtree and Preloved - you may find someone in the same situation as me who would bite your hand off to offer an hour's ride in exchange for an hour of chores (probably picking poo up off soggy fields, which is my least favourite job at this time of year!). Is she old enough to cycle there and back by herself/with friend or get the bus if there was somewhere on a bus route?

NewLeaf_2

honestly I had everything including a horse when I was growing up and a groom to take care of it, and I loved the horse, but never lifted a finger and I was a spoiled so and so who took everything for granted. Both my parents worked all hours like slaves to give me "things" but I was a complete brat because I was looked after by a nanny or my gran when all I wanted was my parents. I got sent to boarding school at 13 and basically never went home again.

What is the purpose of this poor NewLeaf story? It is to say that you are a fantastic loving mum that I wish I had. I can't remember 1 field walk, panini or hot chocolate day in my whole childhood.

Your daughter will be so happy when she is older that she had the most important thing money can't buy: Time with her loving mum

xx

PinotGrigio41

this is the first time I have logged on since Sunday. Work and life been crazy crazy.

I just want to say thankyou so much each and every one of you. I can alsways count on you all for your wise words and to instill in me what I already know. The girls are gorgeous, and so very grateful for what they have already and also appreciative of how hard we are working and for being able to continue with the activities they already do. DD2 has mentioned no more about ponies since Sunday.

I am feeling so much better than I was when I posted. Having a moment there I think ! They dont happen often these days which is an improvement I must say !

I will answer you properly later, but if Im honest your lovely posts and turned me into a bit of a soggy mess, so I will go now mop my tears and gt on with work ! New clients to contact !!:j:j

Be back later xx

Thankyou xxxx

BlushingRose

I agree with the other posters, the thing that your children will remember when they're adult is the fact that you were always there for them, the fact that you spent time with them and the fact that you taught them life values.
By the time she's 13, she might have moved on from horses and want to be a tennis champ, there's no way of knowing x

brizzledfw

Hi Mrs PG

Just popping by after a long, long absence. Sorry about that. You're doing great and it is the right thing. As Piq says the fee for the loan is a fraction of the total cost anyway and the fact that you must drive her there a couple of times a week with your hectic schedule is another.

You're doing great and I for one know how hard it is when the OH is away..

Take care and pour another glass!

Mrs B x

Decadent_Debtor

Mrs PG!

Just popping on to say that I think you are a fantastic Mum! Your posts are always so full of love, and you do so much not just 'for' the girls but also 'with' them - which is what really matters.

It's always hard saying no, but I've got a feeling it will spur her on (excuse the pun) to think of other ways of getting access to a horse - be it work, volunteering etc.

I put my drive and ambition down to having to work hard to get the things that I wanted when growing up. Plus I firmly blame the 'want it now' culture for the recent debt epidemic.

Glad to hear you're feeling a bit better about it all now. Nobody likes down days, but always remember you've got a LOT of friends on here.