Mortgage or Children late 20's

anon123456

Regarding budgets.

You should see my budget spreadsheet with cost analysis and profit and loss. She thinks i'm anal with money as it is

cte1111

I don't think you're being insensitive, you sound like a nice bloke.

If you want to save for a deposit, perhaps it's worth taking the debt free wannabe approach and analysing all your monthly incomings and expenditure and seeing where it is going currently and where cut backs can be made. As you are earning decent salaries and paying minimal rent, then hopefully there should be scope for saving a big chunk each month between now and your wedding, so meaning both your's and Sam's aims can be achieved.

claire16c

anon123456 wrote: »

Thank you Claire for your reply. As very similar to Sam's situation it means a lot. Sam can't stomach the idea of someone else looking after her baby/toddler. I accept that, if she could work part time that would be beneficial.

My wage is a significant portion of the 40k so i think we could "Just" manage on one salary plus small benefit we'd get.

Is 28 so different to 30 though?

Im pretty sure my Mum will want to look after a child if we hopefully have one. Shes already made hints about quitting her job to my husband :rotfl: So Im very lucky in that respect. If for some reason that didnt happen, Id probably try to go back to part time work and hire a nanny/childminder/nursey for those hours. I would like to look after children myself but I also know it would drive me insane to not get adult interaction.

Well from lots of things Ive read your fertility starts to decline at around 32 and drastically after 35, so Id like to have had at least 1 child by then, and seeing as it can take up to a year to get pregnant, I dont want to put it off. Weve already been trying 4 months.

Also I think when Im older and look back on my life, children will be more important than what house I lived in.

You are very lucky in that you have such cheap rent so I would be making the most of it to save as much as you can now. And suggesting to her that she might have to work part time. Most children go to playgroup or nursery before they go to school anyway.

VestanPance

anon123456 wrote: »

Regarding budgets.

You should see my budget spreadsheet with cost analysis and profit and loss. She thinks i'm anal with money as it is

The lesson may just be you can't do everything at once, as nice as that would be.

If you're saving and paying for the wedding get that sorted. I'd say home before child, but only as I'm using the male logic of it being easier to save for a deposit and then do any work the building may require when you get one before a child is born.

sarahevie

I agree, cannot understand why you have no deposit.

We managed to save up £35K whilst at uni. Then a further £16K the year after to buy house number two and our salaries were no way near yours.

By the way I started a PhD and was terribly broody, so got pregnant with DD1 at 23 (the month after we bought our house). Timing wasn't brilliant due to PhD but the best decision ever.

Had DD2 20 months later and am now largely a stay at home mum with a 3 and 1 year old and love it:j

VestanPance

sarahevie wrote: »

We managed to save up £35K whilst at uni.

How is that even possible?

anon123456

I wondered that as well

We've only been in this place 7 months and got 3k saved including spending honeymoon deposit. I made mistakes when younger as to not having savings beforehand

And living alone in 1 bed flats since 18 means saving was nigh impossible

JimmyTheWig

anon123456 wrote: »

I couldn't buy the house without a deposit. I can't get deposit (kids now scenario) without the house being sold.. Catch 22 a bit

That's where yuo are wrong.

You need to calculate (from what you've said, I'm sure you can do that!) how much a mortgage will cost you each month.
You believe that you can afford that on one salary.
So, from now, pay all of your fiancee's earnings into savings. From your salary pay the difference in your calculated mortgage cost and the small rent you currently pay into savings.
Obviously wedding money can come from this pot as that's not part of your plans when you've got the mortgage.

I think the savings will start to build up nicely.
Once your wife gives up work (even if you start trying now, this point in time may well be a year away - 5 months to concieve then 7 months working while pregnant) you can keep paying the difference between mortgage and rent into savings.

Do the projection and see what savings you should have in 3 years time when baby number 2 comes along. Will that be enough?


Alternatively, is the honeymoon booked? Could you scale it down for the sake of being able to afford a deposit sooner / being able to afford children sooner?
A wedding is a once in a lifetime thing. A holiday (which is all a honeymoon is, really) isn't.
We had (within reason) everything we wanted for our wedding day. Then our honeymoon was at a caravan park in Scotland.

jtr2803

I hope this doesn't come across as rude but you sound like the sensible one and your fiancee sounds a little now, now now. I don't think there is anything wrong with the fact that she would like to have children immediately but I think her expectations may seem set a little high. We would all like to have everything as and when we want it but life unfortunately doesn't work like that.

As other posters have said, the situation you have now is ideal to be able to save a large chunk of a deposit, many people don't have that advantage so I would sincerely urge you to make the most of it.

I think you really need to be living in your own home with regular costs before you can budget sensibly and see if you really can manage with just your wage. As you have the earning power and situation to be able to buy your own house I think that should be a joint first aim. If you go ahead and have a baby and then for some reason cannot stay in the maisonette you would either have to move home to continue to save or privately rent which gives you little hope of saving a signifcant sum.

PS - Have a great honeymoon in the Maldives, went there for the first time this year and am booked to go back next year

jtr2803

Do agree with Jimmy on the honeymoon though, if it means you are able to buy a house or have children sooner then it may be worth cancelling it/amending it, £5k is a lot of money.