Christening....which religion.....

Plans_all_plans

jjblondie wrote: »

As for the CofE/Catholic issue, I don't know if Catholics have a similar naming/thanksgiving service.

Of course, you could also use this opportunity to inestigate God's love yourself and find a church community to welcome you and your family.

Good luck, and sorry for the long post .

Hi, no Catholics don't have a similar thanksgiving service: you either get the child baptised or you don't.

Before baptising a child, our Parish Priest sees the parents a number of times and gives instruction in the Faith and tells them what commitment they are making etc. He told me he's had 5 families in the past year decide to wait a while or that it's not for them when they have it properly explained to them.

If he sees you at Church every week then he just does one preparation session unless the parents ask for more.

As a practising Catholic, I would refuse to be Godparent for a child who I know won't be taken to Church by their parents, as I do believe that this makes a mockery of things. However, I can see why people like the tradition of having their children baptised.

I think the part of the quote in italics is the best advice on here so far. It is nice to feel a part of the Church community and people are very welcoming to newcomers. I hope that you come to a decision you are happy with.

pigpen

I dont know if this was mentioned anywhere at all but you do realise in order to have a child baptised they will require you go to church for a while before it is performed.. in ANY of the different churches???

Many also insist you go to classes to discuss the meaning of baptism so they know what it is you are promising on behalf of your child.

It isnt all about a pretty frock and a party after.

If you have intention of taking your child to church then what is the point???? Would any of the Godparents take them?? beyond RE at school would they have any religious teaching???

Unless of course you want them in the RC schools in which case baptising them RC is the best way of guaranteeing them a place a these are normally the better performing schools then I can see why that would be important.

Xaniwoop

Golly am I the only practicing Christian who actually welcomes baptisms from families outside the church? Obviously I prefer it if people are prepared to follow through on their commitments but I like to meet families from the local community, I like them to feel welcomed and comfortable in my place of worship, I want them to know we are here if they want to join us. I want people to have a link to their local church even if they choose not to attend often in case they ever need us, I want people to have a number to call if they need someone to sit with them by their sick child's bedside, be friends when they are lonely, offer counsel if they are bereaved. It's what we do. For me any hypocrisy is between the parents and God, I'm just happy to celebrate with them, pray for their child and invite them to be part of our family too.

To the OP I'd advise the thanksgiving service already recommended - all of the benefits none of the deception

jjblondie

Xaniwoop wrote: »

Golly am I the only practicing Christian who actually welcomes baptisms from families outside the church? Obviously I prefer it if people are prepared to follow through on their commitments but I like to meet families from the local community, I like them to feel welcomed and comfortable in my place of worship, I want them to know we are here if they want to join us.

It's more the being on the phone or letting ten year olds run around shouting that I don't like about some baptism parties than the families not coming back. I'd love them to be involved in the community but most of them don't tend to come to even the special services or fun events. I probably didn't make that clear.

busiscoming2

I haven't read all the replies.

It sounds to me as though you are deciding to have your child christened just to appease the memory you have of your grandma and make yourself feel better about not being all that you feel you should have been for her IYKWIM.

I personally did not have any of my children christened as I want them to decide for themselves if they ever want to follow a religion.

My youngest has a different father and when he was born my husband mentioned to me that we would have him christened. I asked him why, as we aren't religious in any way. His reply was "its what you do isn't it?"


I often wonder why people who never go to church or seemingly follow any religion actually have their children christened. What are they afraid of?

podperson

I appreciate you're feeling some regrets about your grandmother, perhaps brought out more now you're expecting as you're wishing she could meet her new great-grandchild. However it sounds like, despite moving denominations, she was a person who took her religion quite seriously so would she want you to make a commitment in a church to bring up your child in a certain religion if you're not a very religious person and aren't actually going to do that? There are other ways you can remember and honour her without having your child christened.

I was christened COE, even though I don't remember my parents ever taking me to church, but went to a RC school as it was the one we liked best in the area. They do have to admit a certain percentage of non-RC pupils so if that's a consideration for you then not having your child christened RC doesn't mean they won't be able to attend a RC school. Incidently I now don't have any faith and when I have children I won't be getting them christened as I feel it would be a little disrespectful to the people in the church for me to be promising to raise them in a faith when I don't believe in it myself.

skintchick

jjblondie wrote: »

You could always not do anything and allow the child to decide when he or she is older, as in the Baptist tradition.

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Not strictly true. I am a Baptist, and we had our daughter dedicated. It's just a few minutes in a normal Sunday service where you go up the front with baby and proclaim that you will bring up baby in faith, but for them to make their own decision later, and the congregation promises to help you bring them up. But you are not making a decision for the child, as you are in a Christening.

I was acually Christened as a baby, by my non-churchgoing parents, then chose myself to go to church when I was about 12, and was baptised a few years later, because I never felt my Christening meant anything, whereas my Baptism was me making a choice and promise to God.

lizzywig

Wow what a lot of different opinions, I do really appreciate your time to give me your thoughts. I've probably actually come across as really stupid or shallow or doing it for all the wrong reasons. There is more to it than just that. I feel that our family history's are entwined in religion but that I have never taken the time to truely understand it. All of my uncles were choir boys being that they grew up in the church and all of my husbands family have been deeply involved in the church. We want to become a part of that and we want to understand more about our heritage. I am the first person to admit that I'm hugely ignorant when it comes to religion but surely that does not mean I'm not allowed to become involved. I thought all religions welcomed people in if you wanted to make a commitment?

Interestingly my own parents have never once forced religion on me and my husbands parents didn't force religion on him - it's their parents, along with our Aunts & Uncles who have been the deeply relgious ones. Although we would want to raise our child as a christian we would never force it upon them, we would listen to them and let them make their own decisions. If that is not suitable enough for any religion and they would want us to force our child to believe then we wouldn't agree with that.

Up until about 3 years ago I didn't believe in God at all, although I did always say I thought there was something out there. However three years ago this December my husbands mother died, she died very tragically after going missing for a week she was found dead in a field. This was a very traumatic time and after various 'coincidences' (some people might call them) happening we started to feel like she was watching over us. We've started to feel more like there is someone out there watching over us. So yes I want to honour my grandmother, but it's more than that, it's about understanding more about our heritage, it's about the fact that we're getting older and asking more questions about things in life and it's about starting to believe in something greater than us.

I would never in a million years ever force anyone to believe something that they didn't want to, neither would my husband. We just don't know where to start, this is very new to us and with families of differing opinions it's not so easy to talk to them about it, hence asking for people's opinions here but perhaps it's too much of a taboo topic.

Lotus-eater

lizzywig wrote: »

but perhaps it's too much of a taboo topic.

No it's not, people just assumed you didn't want to actually have anything to do with the church, just get a kid baptised, then walk off, never to be seen again.

I would just start going to the church you want to go to and take it from there.

gingin_2

I understand, Lizzie. I come from a religious family and have debated whether to have my children christened and also my own beliefs about God tend to change. I like going to church, I find there is a real warmth there even if my beliefs don't perhaps fit but they always welcome new families with open arms, so I would go and give it a try for a few weeks and have a think.

Oh...and the majority of subjects on this particular part of the forum tend to feel like taboo subjects.... I wouldn't worry.