Christening....which religion.....

Birdy12

Oooh, a debate on such a taboo subject, can I join in?

You could always not christen your child anything at all but tell them, when they're a bit older, that you've left it for them to decide whether they want to follow a particular religion.

Let's face it, you could christen your child and, if they turn out to be anything like your grandmother, they could change religion 3 or 4 times throughout their lives anyway. (no disrespect to your grandmother - she did what suited her).

I mean, it's not like you're going to guide your child much in the religious sense anyway, given the apathy you show towards religion in your original post. Again, no offence meant, I'm not the religious sort either. It's there for those who need it.

Birdy

Abbafan1972

Both myself and hubby were never Christended/Baptised whatever, and neither have my 2 kids. I was brought up to believe that I was CofE, however, but these days any form I get asking for religion I always put "none" or "no religion".

And I certainly wouldn't have bowed to pressure from an over bearing relative either! :mad:

I just didn't see the point in getting kids done, we don't go to church and most of the time it's just an excuse for relatives to have a pi$$ up at your expense, after which you won't see them again, so why bother!?

Tiddlywinks

Kay_Peel wrote: »

Are they hyprocrites?

Yes they are... just attending church for the pomp and cermony of the occasion is just plain wrong.

jjblondie

Maybe I'm not as kind hearted as I should be, but it sometimes drives me (and some others at church) up the wall when we get huge families dressed up to the nines in church for a baptism, where they proceed to talk and misbehave through the service because they don't understand or care about it, and then despite promising to bring their child up as Christian, they are never seen or heard of again (even though we invite all baptismal families back to church once a year). And baptising godparents in the same service jsut makes a mockery of it to me - the godparent should teach the child about God, yet they care so little that they've never been baptised? /rant

The Church of England has introduced a much shorter ceremony called 'Thanksgiving for the birth of a child', designed to work for people who (mostly) just want a pretty ceremony and don't care about religion (can also be a precursor to baptism). This is two sheets of paper and can be done in the church serivce (usually for churchgoers) or after the service separately (for the party people). This thanks God that the child is there, but does NOT involve promising to bring the child up in a certain way. This seems more appropriate for the OP if she does not wish to raise the child as Christian.

As for the CofE/Catholic issue, I don't know if Catholics have a similar naming/thanksgiving service. Only you can decide which branch of Christianity you want to choose, but it sounds like your grandmother wouldn't mind. You could always not do anything and allow the child to decide when he or she is older, as in the Baptist tradition.

Of course, you could also use this opportunity to inestigate God's love yourself and find a church community to welcome you and your family. They don't bite!

Good luck, and sorry for the long post .

Idiophreak

Worth trying to dig out your marriage vows - depending on your religion, they sometimes have something saying "I'll raise my kids in this faith" - if you've already promised, you might as well stick with that one...

peachyprice

jjblondie wrote: »

Maybe I'm not as kind hearted as I should be, but it sometimes drives me (and some others at church) up the wall when we get huge families dressed up to the nines in church for a baptism, where they proceed to talk and misbehave through the service because they don't understand or care about it, and then despite promising to bring their child up as Christian, they are never seen or heard of again (even though we invite all baptismal families back to church once a year). And baptising godparents in the same service jsut makes a mockery of it to me - the godparent should teach the child about God, yet they care so little that they've never been baptised? /rant

.

I really don't blame you, it's insulting.

Mimi_Arc_en_ciel

hm I *kind* of see where the OP is coming from. (OO look - firing line!) I was in a similar situation - My parents arent really religious but both have RC backgrounds from when they was younger, DD's Father and his family are RC (some are strict - his nan in particular, some not so much - he himself) and they was pushing us to baptise DD - I point blankly refused (My "other" mum was very religious and i felt it would be an insult to her and her beliefs), which caused no end of arguements with his family

I agree the OP is doing it for the wrong reasons . . . but then how many people get married in a church because "its pretty" etc - It happens, everyone knows it happens and its become a "way of life" as such and people turn a blind eye.

OP - if you REALLY want to go ahead with it then obviously that is your choice, me personally I couldnt do it. In all honesty what struck me is this: You are doing it im memory of your nan - would she not view it as insulting if you didnt then adhere to the promises you made?

I'd personally go for the naming ceremony but whatever you decide - good luck (and congratulations!)

lostinrates

wow. I'm glad when I go to church its friendlier. As a no longer Christian but christed RC I usually attend C of E church when I go, because that's whats usually here in the sticks. I see the vicar before hand exp-lain that I'm christian a catholic and don't practise and dh is similarly Jewish. In small rural communities a lot of what happens happens in connection with the church and I believe strongly oin contribution to community and also, I still love churches and religious ceremony and find the time for collective celebration for what my neighbours see as a Christian God and I'm less sure about but still feel is miraculous is tremendously beneficial. I use the time for pray to meditate, reflect and yes, probably even to pray to ''something''. I never take blessings, but have always been made welcome and not com[promised or I believe have I compromised anyone.

My guess is even when society was more religious a lot of people went through the motions because its what you did not because of a searing passionate belief.

I do think if you go through with the christianing its worth making some other effort and commitment, otherwise there isn't much point. I'd do it with whichever church the more actively religious parent is christened.

basketcase

meritaten wrote: »

so you dont know that being christened Roman Catholic would not count in a Church of England? and to get married in COE you would have to convert and vice versa?

Sorry, but this isn't correct.

I, christened CoE, married my (now ex!) husband, christened RC in a CoE Church.

He didn't have to convert. Mind you, we couldn't have communion in the Church I'd attended for several years. Not because HE wasn't CoE, but because I hadn't been confirmed! He was 'done' at 7 by the RCs and his confirmation counted, so he could have had communion.

Due to 'annulment on a technicality', my 2nd marriage - also to a Catholic* - was in an RC Church. Not only did I not have to convert, I didn't even have to promise (as I'd thought I would and was prepared to do) that any children would be brought up as RC. HE did, as the Catholic.

Vatican II changed a lot.

* I have catholic tastes... :rotfl:

bargainbetty

A good friend of mine is a registrar, and takes great joy in performing naming ceremonies for newborns - she says it's a lot more fun than weddings, which can be pretty stressful! The joy is in seeing a celebration of a new life in a family, almost a formal welcoming and introduction to the wider family group, without the confusion and contradictions that faith often brings into it. Where partners are different faiths, it is a good way to avoid the arguments, and allows the child to be brought up with an education about their backgrounds so they can make their own minds up later.

Personally, I would no more have a child christened than I would marry in church, because I do not attend one. If you do not believe in something and will not raise your child in the faith, then don't do it.