THE FUTURE IS ONE BIG CHALLENGE AFTER ANOTHER for 3Dogs and friends ..... PART 4

3Dogs

silvercar wrote: »

Dad has had amazing car from the doctors and chemo nurses. The social care team have been a disaster, turned up at the house 2 days after initial diagnosis, sat 2inches in front of Dad's face and said in a very slow droning voice, "where would you like to die?" they were asked to leave and not return.

Refused to claim anything as mum reckons she has always cooked and cleaned for dad, so no difference now. The only thing they have claimed is a blue badge for the car. We haven't crossed the line between "there is no cure only treatment to contain things" and "terminal", so making any claims would involve long forms and I don't think they would do that. Financially they are of the generation that won't discuss money with their children, so I can only assume that they have things sorted

That was horrendous Silvercar and I'm not surprised that they were shown the door, but they shouldn't let that put them off maybe having Age UK, local council or CAB advisor in to see them to check if there is anything they could claim for or perhaps need for the house. As ML says, they will have paid in all their lives, like us, and are the ones most entitled to receive the correct benefits. If they could get Attendance Allowance, I am assuming they are over 60 otherwise it would be DLA, they don't have to have anyone else in to look after Dad, just a little extra money in their pocket which could be used for anything - treats, holiday, grandkids, or savings, etc. And perhaps some aids like frame, wheelchair, hand rails in house, etc could be provided by Social Services. They needn't be concerned about filling in long forms as whoever advises them would do all that

silvercar

3Dogs wrote: »

That was horrendous Silvercar and I'm not surprised that they were shown the door, but they shouldn't let that put them off maybe having Age UK, local council or CAB advisor in to see them to check if there is anything they could claim for or perhaps need for the house. As ML says, they will have paid in all their lives, like us, and are the ones most entitled to receive the correct benefits. If they could get Attendance Allowance, I am assuming they are over 60 otherwise it would be DLA, they don't have to have anyone else in to look after Dad, just a little extra money in their pocket which could be used for anything - treats, holiday, grandkids, or savings, etc. And perhaps some aids like frame, wheelchair, hand rails in house, etc could be provided by Social Services. They needn't be concerned about filling in long forms as whoever advises them would do all that

They are 71. Both proud and I doubt they would want to claim anything. If nothing else getting AA would mean they would use it as a separate pot to pay for things they wouldn't otherwise need. Don't think they will do that though, it took all my persuasion and a very insistant and supportive GP to get the blue badge. It is more a question of finding out what support there is for them than the money, Mum isn't coping well and it has become all consuming - she lives and breathes it now and her health isn't brilliant.

patman99

Social Care workers can be the most arrogant people sometimes.

Having a good and supportive GP can make life so much easier.

3Dogs

Hiya Pat, nice to hear from you - how's things? :beer:

SilverCar - I looked up who was responsible for Social Services/Occupational Therapists for our area and it was Cambs Council, so I rang them to explain the situation and that we might need hand grabs, rails, etc and they put us down on their list for assessment. A couple of weeks later, a local Occupational Therapist came to assess Alan and our bungalow. She brought a frame for him but then dropped off crutches the next day which are much better for him. a week later, a seated walker frame arrived too. As our's is a council bungalow, she passed our details on to them, ell Housing Association actually as they took over council housing stock. H Assoc Occupational Therapist came and did further assessment and we have been put on Priority 1 for next job on list to have our shower-room made into a wet room, as 9" step into porcelain shower tray deemed too dangerous. He has also already put in the application for a wwheelchair for Alan wwhich he will no doubt need in time, as these can take a wwhile to go through

So I would definitely try to get them to do this at least. They will arrange for any adaptations to their home to make it easier and safer for your Dad, and for your Mum too

So_Sad_Angel

Hi 3dogs hope you are well & having some nice days up north...lovely weather:D

Boultdj sorry to hear you are still having issues...I shall be up your neck`o`t`woods for the welldressings ...fingers crossed it will be a nice weekend.

Take care everyone & enjoy the week

Angiexx

ps Hi Silvercar....good to see you:beer:

3Dogs

3Dogs wrote: »

:mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :eek: :mad: :eek: :mad: :eek: :mad: :eek: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad: :mad:

First rule of posting when using a wi-fi dongle? Always check you are still connected before pressing submit, especially when you have just spent ages typing up a long post. I forgot your tip of saving it in word or copying it first Boult :mad: :mad: So with that one lost, here I go again


We have had a lovely day today :j We went to see Alan's Dad and Sister, and just as we got there, his brother and sister-i-l arrived, so we had a cuppa and a right old chinwag. Mr 3Dogs Senior is in his 80's, not well, riddled with arthritis and lost loads of weight over the last few years, but he was cheered up by seeing us. Alan didn't like the conversation when it turned to football as all his family are Toon supporters but at least they didn't rib him about Sunderland today We stayed about 2 hours and then went down to see Alan's youngest son, wife and family. We sat in the garden chatting and it was lovely as they'd got 2 ducklings 3 weeks ago and they were fab to watch in their run and pond. It got too much for Alan though so after about an hour we had to leave. We called in for fish & chips for Alan and cheesey chips for me and had them when we got back

Alan then had an hour's nap before coming with me to see Mam. My sister had doen the evening visit and I was just going to take her home, but we went a little earlier so Alan could go in and see me Mam for a few minutes. It had been a glorious day, though the cloud had started to come over by then, and the heat in the home hit Alan as soon as he went in so he struggled. I said to Mam, look who I've brought to see you Mam and Alan came in. Mam looked at him puzzled and said she didn't know who it was, so I said 'my man' as she calls him 'Alan', and she smiled and said 'Oooooh isn't he big' he is just under 6 ft. she then looked down adn said 'and he's got .... erm thingys' and I said 'yes, crutches as his back is bad at the minute' and she just smiled at him, saying 'Hello' back when he said 'hello Molly'

So Alan got to see all his family and even saw me Mam :j :j He was shattered though and, after watching the cricket highlights well done again England :j, he was off to bed and quickly fell sound asleep

We have decided to go home on Wednesday, so I rang the kennels and extended the dogs' [STRIKE]borstal[/STRIKE] holiday till then. Depending on how Alan is in the morning, we may go to Metro Centre as it is many years since either of us have been there, and we need to go see my brother again too or he will be feeling neglected

Off to bed soon so goodnight guys - sleep well

boultdj

Hope to see you at the dressing Angle, I'm just going to bake some scone's for the tea room. And hopefully I will know a bit more about what's going wrong with my leg, got hospital appointment wensday.

Ooooo! nice to know the metro centre survived the Dema invasion 20+ year's ago, was a nice day out, I found the natcho stand:D was the first time I'd had chilli.

silvercar

3Dogs, so lovely that you are spending quality time with family, I hope you have taken loads of photos.

Re adaptions. They don't need anything yet. Luckily they moved to a new build flat a few years ago. It has a lift and the new build regulation mean it has very wide doors. Dad has been on steroids this week and is feeling stronger, so hopefully he will be able to have the second part of the radiotherapy and then we hope and pray it works (takes a few months to see). His tests last week showed no deteriation, so he now needs to stay at this level until the radioth kicks in. If his body can take the second dose and can remain at current levels until it does its job, then there is long term hope for stabilisation. Procedure called SIRT if anyone has heard of it.

beanielou

3 dogs~So so very glad that you had a good day yesterday :j :j :j
Made me sniff a wee bit TBH.

Happy Tuesday all.

patman99

Hi all. Nice to know Alan has had a good week. The busier he keeps, the less he will dwell on his cancer.
I'm having a blue day today. Son has been over since last Wednesday due to problems with a neighbour. He was supposed to go back tomorrow, but without asking, has extended his stay until Sunday. We really do not get on. The worse thing is, his mum always sides with him in an argument and when he is around she goes out of her way to criticise everything I do. She tends to forget, its me who pays for the food and bills because she is to damn ignorant to go and sign-on and get JSA (which she would waste on crafting tat anyway, seeing as she is incapable of actually saving money).