Presents for ungrateful dad

seven-day-weekend

I agree with the people who say he might be embarrassed about opening it in public. So give him something you THINK he might like (but that doesn't cost too much) and tell him he needn't open it now if he doesn't want to.

How about a subscription to something, like his favourite magazine or DVD hire? Or even a gym if he is active!

meritaten

I was about to suggest getting him something he doesnt have to open or can chuck in the bin! something along the lines of sponsoring a child in the third world in his name? or a endangered species?
or even a magazine subscription? I am not very good at pressies but for my DS1s 30th I bought him a subscription to his favourite metal detecting mag - along with some cash for his 'expensive metal detector, with all the bells and whistles' fund. I was a bit apprehensive but his OH told me later he was thrilled to bits!

mumps

I know this must be annoying but my dad died when I was still at school. I would so love to have had him around when I got married, when his grandchildren were born, to see his great grandchildren. If your dad is a good dad the rest of the time then that is great, if he is funny about presents why not ask him if he would prefer not to have presents, its not worth getting upset about.

My DH has issues about presents from his childhood, not that he didn't get them but that they were given away on the slightest excuse, so he finds it hard to deal with presents but they do mean alot to him. Can you mum come up with suggestions?

Lirin

Novelty lump of coal- bought this for my Dad last year. From Ebay. My Dad is lovely, kind, and always grateful- the coal was shaped like his favourite Landrover and lacquered so black didn't rub on anything- he loves it.

Hectors_House

codemonkey wrote: »

As much as I'd love to, he wouldn't even know how to switch the computer on, let alone use amazon. :rotfl::rotfl:

I've tried to teach him so many times, but have given up now. He doesn't want to learn.

Could you buy him a gift voucher from Waterstone?

That way he gets a physical voucher he can keep in his wallet .. he just has to remember its there if he goes into the shop.

BlondeHeadOn

My Gran used to be dreadful at receiving presents, but it was not because she was grumpy. She always used to say "Oh that's lovely, but it's far too nice for me - here, you have it instead" and give it stright back to me (or whoever had given her the present).

This sounds 'sweet', but you have no idea how [EMAIL="bl@@dy"]bl@@dy[/EMAIL] infuriating it is to have your gifts handed back to you immediately! Especially if you had taken time and trouble to choose something you thought she'd like.

In the end me and my brother used to give her things we liked ourselves (like chocolates etc.) - we knew we'd get them back anyway, so at least they wouldn't go to waste that way.

I think of it as a kind of 'gift matyrdom', and this sort of thing still makes me cross today...

Maida

Interesting thread, I also have similar relatives. I like the cheque idea. If he doesn't cash it then it's not a waste. Or the oxfarm goat.

MrsAtobe

Codemonkey, have you had your wedding photographs yet? What about a photo of you and him put in a nice photo frame? I'd like to see him be rude about that, and if he is, at least you could brain him with it .

Keiss_21

Just discovered this thread..great ideas folks, might use some for other PITA relatives

My dad can be a pain too...but this summer I knitted a pair of socks for him while I was up visiting him (so I could measure him and make sure they fitted). He was absolutely delighted, and has asked for pairs for his birthday and xmas for as long as he lives!! (he is 78 too). My gran always knitted him socks, but she passed away 21 years ago, so he hasn't had any new woollen socks since.

I can't tell you how relieved I am to find something that he genuinely wants. He has always been a bit funny with presents, wanting to give them when he bought them, rather than waiting for the birth-day or Xmas day...Mum used to have a right old time stopping him giving us kids our Xmas presents in October :eek: As kids we only ever got one present and some sweets, plus the annual from Santa. Should really have stuck with this for my boys too...we sort of do, but I tend to go a bit mad some years .

So good luck in finding something your father really likes...can be a surprise sometimes! Otherwise, give him something that hasn't cost you a lot financially or emotionally...then you won't be too hurt if he disregards it again. I do think a quiet heart-to-heart could be a good idea, if you think it would achieve anything (other than a row!).

aloise

My dh is exactly the same, as was his mother, (my hated mil ). Nothing any of us buy is appreciated and now i haven't bought him anything for 15 years. Not even a card.
His mothers excuse was she wasn't used to presents and didn't want to feel beholden, stupid woman. We found all the presents we bought her, going back about 20 years in a drawer. We had 5 kids and it was hard trying to afford stuff then, and we always bought decent stuff for her.
The kids just get their dad whiskey now, he never refuses that. But they barely get a thank you.
Pure bad manners and inconsideration for other peoples feelings.