Presents for ungrateful dad

Tigsteroonie

Give him a cheque. If he puts that in the drawer and ignores it, you won't have spent any money :money:

Seriously though. Does he like a wee tipple? If so, I'd buy him a bottle of his favourite, he won't be able to resist that.

jamespir

just give him a card

jackomdj

Did he receive presents as a child? It could be that he genuinely does not know how to respond to gifts. Re the grandchildren if he acted positively to them as children possibly he has then grown to show this response to them.

My grandad spent most Christmases in bed, the presents he was left to his own devices with would still be in their wrapping about 6 months later, our family would make a point of going up and making him open them. I remember enthusing over things whilst he sat grunting away! But my mum explained to me why he was like it!

kazwookie

Do him a book of IOU's (computer and printer needed)

Such as 1 hours gardening, 1 hours car cleaning, 1 hours outing / visit and such like, that way all you have given up is your time,, so if he doesn't want them, you have not lost a lot.

Spendless

Out of interest, how does he respond to presents from your sibling/s?

codemonkey

jackomdj wrote: »

Did he receive presents as a child? It could be that he genuinely does not know how to respond to gifts. Re the grandchildren if he acted positively to them as children possibly he has then grown to show this response to them.

My grandad spent most Christmases in bed, the presents he was left to his own devices with would still be in their wrapping about 6 months later, our family would make a point of going up and making him open them. I remember enthusing over things whilst he sat grunting away! But my mum explained to me why he was like it!

Actually, now you come to mention it, I've not heard many stories from his childhood, but there is one of him coming home from work as a young man to find an orange and a bar of chocolate (rare post-war) on the kitchen table only to be snapped at by his mum "It's not for you, it's from your sister!". I don't think my grandmother was a very nice woman.

codemonkey

Spendless wrote: »

Out of interest, how does he respond to presents from your sibling/s?

Slighty more positively than mine tbh, but pretty much in the same way. Tbh I've always had the impression that my conception (unplanned and a lot later than my siblings) messed up his plans a bit. He certainly favours my sister more than me. But our relationship has been a lot better since I grew up and left home.

meritaten

hun - have you just sat there mortified in the past? you need to get at the root of this as you say that in other ways he is a 'good' dad!
My OH often appears ungrateful - but the truth is, that he gets very emotional and embarrassed when given a present. he may love it - but will put it aside with no comment or what sounds like a grudging thanks.
I finally found out that when he was little if he expressed too much delight over a gift his older brother would then break it or belittle it! so he learned to hide his feelings.

please tell your dad that it upsets you that you cant seem to choose a gift he likes - could he please tell you what he really wants to save your feelings when he rejects your gift - as it feels like he is rejecting YOU! and I WOULD put it as strongly as that.

pigpen

Id prbably get him a bottle of his fave alcoholic beverage.. or the Oxfam goat... or a few chickens lol.. Or adopt an old donkey at a donkey sanctuary for him pmsl..

Or Id get him something REALLY hideous that he would probably hate.. or underwear.. so he could really have something to complain about.. and roll abotu laughing when he says he hates it or whatever negative comment he makes..

Spendless wrote: »

Do him a 'Miserable Old Git' hamper. Let's see, dvd perhaps One foot in the grave, jar of humbugs, find a mug/key-ring with an appropriate message on. Have a look to see if you can find a book about grumpy old men.

In fact I am sooooo tempted to do one for my FIL (who does appreciate xmas gifts, but is miserable the rest of the year). :rotfl:

disney store have grumpy mugs with a little stuffed grumpy in.. i got my grumpy OH one last year lol.

or.. even better.. get him something he might love.. and if he makes a negative comment say "fine if you dont want it I kept the receipt" and take it back off him and put it straight back out in the car!

blue_monkey_2

Not having very nice parents is not a reason for him to be horrible to you when you give him something. My dad was horrible to us and I am NOT the same to my kids.

I think what is bothering you more is that your presents are rejected and you need to accept that this is what he will be like, no matter how much thought you put into something.

Just go to the pound shop and get some stuff there. Car cleaning leather, some DVD's, CD's stuff like that. Things he will find useful rather than for show.

I hope you asked your brother for the train back and took it back for a refund!!