Presents for ungrateful dad

codemonkey

I'm starting my christmas shopping just now (know it's early but after the snow last year blocked deliveries for most of December, I've decided to get a head start) and I'm struggling for a gift for my 78 year old father.

Ever since I can remember, any present I've ever given him is met with sarky comments and being banished to a drawer or given away. For example, he used to be a signalman and loves trains and has a model one in his bedroom, so one year I decided to buy him a train set. It was really expensive and over budget at a time I couldn't really afford it but I couldn't think of anything else and really thought he'd like it. He unwrapped it, said "what did you buy me that for?", then gave it to my brother, right in front of me. It was his birthday a few days ago and my husband had bought him a mug that stirs itself, and I made him a hamper of teabags, coffee, tablet and biscuity stuff (figured at least it wouldn't get wasted), and all he did was ask if I'd been to a jumble sale and leave it on the floor, still in the gift bag. He didn't even look at it.

I know its stupid to get upset, but I like to put a lot of thought into presents and hate the money wasted by buying stuff that just goes into drawers or is given away immediately.

I should point out that in other aspects of life my dad is a lovely man and a very supportive dad. It's just presents that turn him into an ungrateful old git.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

globalds

Give him an amazon voucher and tell him he can buy what he wants......Simples

codemonkey

As much as I'd love to, he wouldn't even know how to switch the computer on, let alone use amazon. :rotfl::rotfl:

I've tried to teach him so many times, but have given up now. He doesn't want to learn.

LittleVoice

Ask him what he would like. If you get a sensible answer, give him that.

[Does he respond to other gifts in the same way or just yours?]

BitterAndTwisted

Yes, I have one suggestion: don't buy him anything!

Would a voucher for something like the cinema or some other outing-type thing not suit him better? Perhaps you could take him somewhere instead. He may not need "stuff" that he hasn't chosen for himself. Or he could be just a cussed and ungracious old git

chris1973

Make a donation to a charity equal to that value of a gift for which you would normally pay.

This way, at least you'll know the recipient will be far more grateful than your Father.

Merry Xmas

blue_monkey_2

What about nothing - ungrateful git.

Maybe he will then appreciate it in the future.

Or got to the pound shop and spend £5 tops - at least it will not feel so bitter. But I can imagine it hurts a lot when you have put so much thought into it. I do not speak to my dad anymore as he is an ar se but when we he was very much the same. You could give him a gold bar and he would still not be happy by the sound of it.

DUTR

codemonkey wrote: »

I'm starting my christmas shopping just now (know it's early but after the snow last year blocked deliveries for most of December, I've decided to get a head start) and I'm struggling for a gift for my 78 year old father.

Ever since I can remember, any present I've ever given him is met with sarky comments and being banished to a drawer or given away. For example, he used to be a signalman and loves trains and has a model one in his bedroom, so one year I decided to buy him a train set. It was really expensive and over budget at a time I couldn't really afford it but I couldn't think of anything else and really thought he'd like it. He unwrapped it, said "what did you buy me that for?", then gave it to my brother, right in front of me. It was his birthday a few days ago and my husband had bought him a mug that stirs itself, and I made him a hamper of teabags, coffee, tablet and biscuity stuff (figured at least it wouldn't get wasted), and all he did was ask if I'd been to a jumble sale and leave it on the floor, still in the gift bag. He didn't even look at it.

I know its stupid to get upset, but I like to put a lot of thought into presents and hate the money wasted by buying stuff that just goes into drawers or is given away immediately.

I should point out that in other aspects of life my dad is a lovely man and a very supportive dad. It's just presents that turn him into an ungrateful old git.

Does anyone have any suggestions?

As others have mentioned, ASK HIM, if someone has a hobby , then one of the worst presents to get them is a hobby related gift, unless it is something they specifically wanted, would David Beckham appreciate some football boots from his wife?
Also some folk don't react too good to recieving presents and are emabarrased, you need to talk with him.

codemonkey

LittleVoice wrote: »

Ask him what he would like. If you get a sensible answer, give him that.

[Does he respond to other gifts in the same way or just yours?]

His only answer is "a grandchild from you" and he aint getting that. :rotfl:

He tends to respond to presents from his grandchildren in a more positive way (they're grown up so its not a child thing).

BitterAndTwisted wrote: »

Yes, I have one suggestion: don't buy him anything!

Would a voucher for something like the cinema or some other outing-type thing not suit him better? Perhaps you could take him somewhere instead. He may not need "stuff" that he hasn't chosen for himself. Or he could be just a cussed and ungracious old git

He's not been to the cinema since I was 8 and him and my mum don't really "do" anything outingy.

He's just an ungracious old git when it comes to gifts but I feel like I can't just get him nothing iykwim??

Emmzi

1. Make him a cake. Even if he hates it, it cost you a quid.
2. Buy him an Oxfam goat. Even if he hates it, it'll be doing good somewhere else in the world.
3. Give him a handmade card or a photo of the family. Again, costs a quid.

If he does not like presents it is cruel to keep giving them to him, that's what I tell myself about ungrateful sods!

Spendless

Do him a 'Miserable Old Git' hamper. Let's see, dvd perhaps One foot in the grave, jar of humbugs, find a mug/key-ring with an appropriate message on. Have a look to see if you can find a book about grumpy old men.

In fact I am sooooo tempted to do one for my FIL (who does appreciate xmas gifts, but is miserable the rest of the year). :rotfl: