Changing a childs name -Help needed.

vix2000

No problem. Thats what forums are for, isn't it? People with different experiences and opinions. I think your idea of having both names is a sensible compromise. But I still can't understand why a majority of children automatically have the paternal surname. Well, I can, because its always been done. This is the core of the problem. As for my daughters school, they didn't even know who her dad was as he never took any interest in her education. She wasn't allowed to discuss it with him as he told her he would never have anything to do with her again if she changed her name. At 12 years old she had made up her own mind. It was making her unhappy and affecting her progress and they respected that. It was instigated at her request, it had nothing to do with me. As I previously said, her sister was happy to keep her fathers name, and I totally respect that choice. I accept that some really good fathers are denied their rights through the courts, and that is not right, however take the scenario that a lot of my colleagues/friends have faced, bringing up children as the primary carer, in what they think is a stable relationship, giving up their lives/careers for their husband/partner to follow theirs, to then find out that they have been replaced by a new model, and left alone with the kids and bills with minimum help. They have their noses rubbed in it every day with the reminder of this every time they hear their childrens name. Luckily I was not in this situation as the divorce was my decision due to irretrievable breakdown, so I had no reason to be bitter on that score, but believe me, I have friends who have a legitimate right to be bitter, but bend over backwards to be fair to their ex's for the kids sake.

fairydust

Firstly, apologies if this is in the incorrect forum.

I wish to obtain passports for myself and my children. However, my children, although they are known as my surname, they would, at present, have to use their old surname (my married name - we are now divorced) as it was the name they were born with. Their father has joint parental responsability as we were married but they haven't seen him for over 6 years. We don't know where he is, last we heard (4 years ago) he'd moved overseas.

I have been told I need to go to court, but when I did go to get a form, they were rather unhelpful, and told me to come back when I knew what form it was I wanted. I'm still none the wiser.

I am on benefits so any advice on how best to do this that'll not cost the earth would be helpful. I know I can get name changes free of charge but I am unsure if thats the case in our circumstances.

So I guess what I'm asking here is...

Do I have to go to court to apply to get their names changed? if so, what forms do I need and to what cost?

Or

Can I get their names changed free of charge without going to court? And just by following the correct name change procedure?

As said, if this is not the correct place for this thread, sorry - mods/admins feel free to delete.

mancitychick

You would need to change their name by deed poll, which does incur a cost. Re the absent father, this may cause a problem. You used to need the Father's permisson to change a childs name by deed poll. I don't know if this is still the case.

Have a read of this website:-

http://www.deedpoll.org.uk/

I would think it would be cheaper to organise it yourslef though rather than use a company like them.

mancitychick

This might help you better, but reading it quickly I think you still need the Father's permission.

http://www.hmcourts-service.gov.uk/cms/9805.htm

fairydust

Thanks for those links but I do know for sure that you can change a childs name without consent from the father with parental responsibility, if you don't know where he is. The only thing is, I don't know how to!

I've just found this

f this is your situation, you can apply for a Deed Poll and support your application with a letter of consent, which should include information about what reasonable measures you have taken to contact the absent father - for example, writing to the father's last known address and contacting relatives and friends of the father etc. The letter should also include details of the period of absence by the father and examples of the father's lack of interest, for example, no maintenance payments and no Christmas or birthday cards or presents received by your child (see Letter 4 on the example letters of consent page).

from the ukdps website but that would show I can only do it thorugh their service... however, it does have a 0800 helpline... I might give them a call when I go out. See what they suggest

Broken_hearted

I think it's wrong to change a childs name it makes them feel as if part of them is bad and needs to be gotten rid of.

inkie

Why can't you just apply for the passport in the surnmae that they are reigstered as? This would save all the trouble, after all, we can call ourselves what we like.

comping_cat

Maybe you should go to a solicitor, if you are on benefits, you should get legal aid, and the solicitor would know if/how you can change the names, and also what the procedure would be with regards contacting the absent parent.

iceicebaby

Don't change their names. My mum changed ours when we were kids and even though I love her to bits I have never forgiven her for doing this.

thetope

iceicebaby wrote: »

Don't change their names. My mum changed ours when we were kids and even though I love her to bits I have never forgiven her for doing this.

from what fairydust says though, the kids have been using her surname for quite some time and they are known by it, so it would probably be more traumatic to have to use their absent father's surname?