Not going back to work after maternity leave

Make-it-3

I'm in a similar boat MV. I'd love to do 3 days a week, but I know its just not going to work out that way. The job market isn't on the side of us mums at the mo. I've been looking at nurseries but haven't sign up yet as I have to make the scary leap of getting that sorted before I look for work. We can manage that for a bit as we've built up a pool of childcare vouchers, but I'm pretty sure I'm going to have to go full time or pull her out of nursery and be SAHM.

One thing to consider is how important your career is to you. As the longer you are out of it the more difficult it will be to pick up, if you decide that's what you want at some point down the line.

I think you will find things to occupy your time, I know the winter is coming as I dread the bad weather and being cooped up at home too, but I checked out my local SureStart centre the other day and was amazed at what they have on. I guess it is also about finding a new network of SAHM too, although I don't doubt that is harder than the bonding that you have from antenatal groups.

onlyroz

In addition to what I posted above, remember that you and your partner can both claim childcare vouchers, which gives you around a £50 a month tax saving each month for both of you.

Metranil_Vavin

Again thanks for the replies.

Roz - my OH has been paying into the childcare voucher scheme, I unfortunately never got round to it whilst working, and obviously now I have no income it is too late.
I have looked about and most of the privately run nurseries around my area are top heavy in terms of cost. There is a local council run one which I really wanted and put DS's name down for in May, but it is so popular he hasn't moved up the waiting list at all, and they have told me straight that it is unlikely I will get a place for him. That one is quite a bit cheaper - £49 a day as opposed to £76 a day at the private ones.
I have put out some feelers to people I know in the same industry as me to keep their ears and eyes open for any p/time opportunities that come up, and have updated my cv and am going to send it to some local agencies.
I think it;s just a bit of a scary leap to make. I am aware that when I call my boss and tell him I am resigning, that will be that..I can't go back on it!

I also considered trying to go back for say a month and seeing how it went, but the commute coupled with the cost and also having to get LO settled into childcare and then possibly pull him out again in a month, put me off that idea a bit.

Thanks for all the wise words though. i sometimes feel a bit lonely, even though I have this network of mum-friends around me as they are all making plans to return to work.

I suspect as well that I may have been suffering with a bit of mild PND over the last few months, so intend to get myself along to the Dr's for a chat. been putting that off too..just call me Ms Ostrich!

HRV

I have newborn twins and having a year off (have got to go back for financial reasons) but as some of this is unpaid we have to be very careful with money.

My time is taken up by groups (i go to a variety of different children's centres so I can find things that most suit us)- cant believe uv not done this at all over the last year- get down there and find out whats going on. Once child is 2 lots of ch centres do 2 hour groups when u can leave the child and give yourself a bit of time- normally have waiting list though.

A major saving you can make by being at home is cookin food from scratch inc. babies and sourcing meat and veg/fruit locally as its cheaper esp if u have a freezer to freeze meat when on offer

I sell all decent baby clothes on ebay- photograph and describe them well

I buy virtually all clothes from charity shops (i buy upto a year in advance) if i want something specific eg. a grey jumper I get from ebay- I havent bought anything new myself unless with gift vouchers given as gifts.

Enjoy it if u can do it :-)

Metranil_Vavin

I have gone to groups, although most of those have been paid for things like Gymboree and swimming lessons. I need to check out the free stuff to do in my area too.
The local library did a weekly Rhyme Time group which was good, until some scrotes went and stole the lead off the roof and the ceilings started to leak, hence the library has now closed indefinitely :mad:

Obviously now I have no income, the paid for groups will have to stop or be a bare minimum.

I am sure there are other things going on in my area though, I'll look into those.

Metranil_Vavin

By the way...Pigpen - congratulations! I am presuming your latest addition arrived safely? Did you have a boy or girl?

jess1974

I cherished the time i had with my 2 boys at home before they started school, i never felt like i had to get out of the house, i love being at home, what i hate now is the horrible morning rush to get everyone out of the door for school, what people forget is that a school day is only 6 hours long, i can spend an hour or 2 doing housework, then some shopping etc the days soon go.

Plans_all_plans

Being a SAHM is great. It's totally underrated and devalued by society, but I loved my time off with our first and I'm looking forward to doing it all again with our second. Don't get me wrong, somedays it's boring and feels like it's neverending (particularly when it's raining!), but you'll miss it when they're in school.

Your local council's Family Information Service will be a wealth of knowledge. Google your local council's name and then Family Info Service to find their contact details. They have lists of all the groups and activities on locally.

Also, the netmums 'meet a mum' board is a good way of meeting new people and it also advertises local activities and gives ideas of things for you to do indoors etc.

Best of luck with it.

maryjane01

You also have to take into account the long game. A lot of women work for virtually no extra income to keep their foot in the job market and their salary at a level that it would not be if they take a few years out, and also take into account pension contributions etc.

Having said that, I did not enjoy enjoy my job so I gave up work and I am currently a stay at home mum, In my area there are loads of surestart activities that cost only 50p of £1 per activity. If you attend these sorts of groups regularly you can get to know other mums some that may also not be working.

summerday

Do you believe that your job could be carried out by you working part time, even if with a job share partner? If so, you have a right to request a part time role (although not a given right to it being granted, but onus is on company to explain why it can't work).

I plan to request part time when I return from mat leave, and have a template letter that outlines their duty to consider my part time request. If you would like a copy of the letter just pm me.