Not going back to work after maternity leave

Metranil_Vavin

I am feeling a bit better today about my decision having spoken to a mummy friend today who is only going back to her job 2 days a week, and who has assured me will be about for cups of tea and free groups!
I am going my local Rhyme Time tomorrow too which is free, and have been online checking out free local things to do..I think as you say it's just a case of jumping in and being brave.
I'm looking for p/time jobs too, as at the end of the day I like to have some money coming in, but I think now I have rectified in my head what I need to do, I feel a lot less panicky.

Metranil_Vavin

Thanks msb x
It really helps to read other people's experiences.

onlyroz

Have you looked at nurseries close to your workplace, rather than close to your home? I'm guessing that the £1400 pcm is down to "London prices" - but you certainly wouldn't have to pay that much outside of London. And have you also considered childminders - both close to home and close to work?

msb5262

onlyroz wrote: »

Have you looked at nurseries close to your workplace, rather than close to your home?

An interesting suggestion - I thought of this when making my decision (see my post #41) but decided I didn't want to take my baby for 70 miles on the motorway a day...based on that, I'm guessing Metranil Vavin wouldn't be too keen to commit her child to 3 hours commuting a day either. It's not what you'd call quality time to spend with a small child!

Wonder_Womble

an9i77 wrote: »

Yes they do have a duty to consider the request but that's all - and it's pretty easy to get out of that one, all they have to do is ensure the reasons for refusal fit into one of the eight 'valid' categories for refusal.

I think the right to request flexible working is one of the most meaningless pieces of employment legislation, because that's all it is, a right to request it - your rights stop after that.

Ditto!! It is an absolute waste of time.

3v3 wrote: »

Do you have access to your firm's policy regarding flexi-working? I'm just delving into that mire of employment legislation myself, so I'm a bit fuzzy (aka unreliable) but, I do know that you need to know what their policies are regarding flexi-work and work/life integration. Work-life balance is a huge agenda (even if it is skewed towards women - no offence, but it really should have a balance which should not be gender specific or even parent specific! Non-parents should be equally entitled to a work/life balance).

Non-parents are entitled to Work/Life Balance and I applied 2 years ago (as a non parent) to reduce my hours, my manager considered this as he was obliged to, and then said no. His justification was 'it does not suit our service needs'. I pursued it through the Union and after numerous meetings was advised by the Union and HR that he did not have to give any further justification. This is despite the fact that there are 2 other staff on the team who work part time. 3 other staff in my work place have gone through the same process and had the same result as me, and they are all parents.

Oh, and someone posted that about male orientated working environments, I work in social care, typically a female orientated working environment.

Metranil_Vavin

onlyroz wrote: »

Have you looked at nurseries close to your workplace, rather than close to your home? I'm guessing that the £1400 pcm is down to "London prices" - but you certainly wouldn't have to pay that much outside of London. And have you also considered childminders - both close to home and close to work?

Hi Roz - I had considered child care where I work, but as msb said, it would be a nightmare of a trip for my DS on 2 packed commuter trains which often are late or cancelled. I also know that childcare where my office is based (Windsor) is pretty much on a par with London prices anyway. I suppose we could consider near where OH works, but he is in another fairly affluent South London borough, so I imagine it would be just as expensive there.

I had found a possible child minder too that I really liked, but her going rate was £6.50 an hour, which although in itself doesn't sound too horrendous, does equal £65 for a full day, so for full time I would still be looking at £325 per week.

It really is all pointing to me not returning to my current job, although listening to Radio 4 this morning talking about how many women are now out of work and how tough the job market is becoming for them has freaked me again. Am I being crazy giving up a reasonably well paid job (reasonably paid when not factoring in commuting costs, time travelling, full time child care etc)?

Memory_Girl

Hiya Hon

Can understand your wobbles - so maybe you need to look at this from a "business" viewpoint.

Write down your take home pay.

Then take away your "working costs" - travel, childcare, cost of new wardrobe, lunches, treat coffees - anything that is related to you being out at work.

Is it a positive or negative figure?

If negative -no brainer I suppose but if its a small positive then that number is your new "income target" for the short term. Could you get a local PT job, ebay, set up a small business - or look at reducing your family expenditure by that amount by home cooking, baking, Make Do and Mending, increased Tax credits, cutting insurances etc etc?

Then look at this period as a period of Personal Development and form your own CPD plan for the next few years (one GF of mine has nearly done her degree whilst raising two littlies meaning she will go back into the job market mega qualified) - perhaps looking forward to volunteering when the little ones get funded playgroup places or becoming a Mumpreneur?

Its not practical for me to do my previous job with two boys on my own - but I am slowly building available business from home that is bridging the gap nicely whilst learning how to do all the DIY stuff that is slowly refurbishing my period property (and when the banks start lending again I will easily sell at a profit)

So its more a sideways step really.

MG

Metranil_Vavin

Thank you MG, very helpful post
I did look at the numbers with OH last weekend. As it currently stands, if I pay off OH's remaining loan, we will be roughly at the same figure each month of available income as if I went back to work and he continued paying the loan monthly IYSWIM.
There would be a bit more money about if I went back, but I can't see it's enough to justify the early mornings, long commutes and rushing about trying to pick LO up from childcare and missing out on so much of his development.
I think utilising the time for personal development is a great idea, and it is time that I just have not had since I started working at 22 after uni (I'm 38 now). I've been stuck in a rut at my current job for some time, so this is an opportunity for me to get out and do something else.
Thanks again for the help everyone. It's really helped me get things straigt in my head.

jockosjungle

My wife has recently given birth 16 days ago, she worked in a call centre and won't be returning to work. As said before...

Write down your take home salary

Then Deduct

Childcare
Commuting Costs
Lunch costs
Extra clothing costs

And all those extra costs that you probably don't think about, maybe you operate a second car so you can get to work, maybe you will need to eat expensive takeaways because of the long hours.

Then work out your net earnings after the costs, then work our what your hourly and weekly rate turns out to be.

Chances are it won't be worth going to work, if you still want to work there are two things you can do, either earn more money or reduce those costs.

Could you get some work in the evenings or weekends when your partner is home to look after the children?

There's plenty to do as a SAHM, plenty of things to take your children to and a great way to meet other mums in the same area

R

onlyroz

Metranil_Vavin wrote: »

I also know that childcare where my office is based (Windsor) is pretty much on a par with London prices anyway.

I'm in Berkshire and I pay £1000 pcm. Have you considered moving out of London? You'll be able to get a bigger property, the cost of living will undoubtedly reduce, and you'd have a shorter commute.