what are the best value dating sites?

Scotty1.7

Findingmyway I'm afraid that is the case.

Your best bet is to take a break and look at other options, then go back.

If your just looking through the list of pictures then it is a time to walk away for a while

findingmyway_2

Scotty I do try and read peoples profiles before judging them, but I suppose I do look at photos first. I feel like my list of requirements gets longer by the day! So maybe you are right, I should just close my account and take a break for a while.

I had a look at Oasis dating, but I wasn't really keen on the setup. I actually think its probably the frustration with life that is getting to me more. I am looking for a job, and feel so fed up with sending off hundreds of applications and getting no response. Im wallowing a bit, which I know is not the right frame of mind to be looking for someone.

I will cancel my account and try focus on other things for the next few months.

OptimusNemesis

findingmyway wrote: »

Scotty I do try and read peoples profiles before judging them, but I suppose I do look at photos first. I feel like my list of requirements gets longer by the day! So maybe you are right, I should just close my account and take a break for a while.

I had a look at Oasis dating, but I wasn't really keen on the setup. I actually think its probably the frustration with life that is getting to me more. I am looking for a job, and feel so fed up with sending off hundreds of applications and getting no response. Im wallowing a bit, which I know is not the right frame of mind to be looking for someone.

I will cancel my account and try focus on other things for the next few months.

It sounds like you are having a very similar experience to me - I met a few people but I've yet to meet someone who doesn't behave strangely or seem a bit unbalanced in some way. The last couple of months have been pretty quiet for me. I just find the profiles on OKCupid very superficial "I'm the world's greatest person, I'm super nice and so drop dead beautiful that men fall at my feet wherever I go" seems to be the general gist, which instantly puts me off. Usually followed by a long list of requirements such as "you must be x height - no taller, no shorter, you must have this specific job, you must be best friends with someone in a tribe from Papua New Guinea, you must have been to the moon at least once, etc."! lol

I'm not sure whether you've seen my other threads (about finding geeky/nerdy girls and also about having no family to speak of) but I've decided to start winding down my Internet dating. Its been interesting but I doubt I'll find a down to earth, passionate and kind woman on there. That's not to say there aren't any on there but I think someone like that is rare on these things and I'd rather spend my time doing things that make me happy than trawling profiles and messaging people in the hopes they might message me back. I posted my feelings on that last night in my thread, which you may or may not agree with.

Anyway, you're not alone in feeling like that. I think dating sites can be an interesting way to meet people but are most likely not the answer if you want something meaningful and long lasting.

- G

molit

have to admit i have just closed my eharmony account. Just no response from anyone - i'm not brad pitt, but i'm certtainly not john prescott either...I telly you one thing, the next person who just say, be youself, and have you tried evening classes, ms right is just around the corner is likely to get punched...

JustKeepSwimming_2

molit wrote: »

have to admit i have just closed my eharmony account. Just no response from anyone - i'm not brad pitt, but i'm certtainly not john prescott either...I telly you one thing, the next person who just say, be youself, and have you tried evening classes, ms right is just around the corner is likely to get punched...

You forgot this gem Molit - "It will happen when you just stop looking"....

Then there is my personal favourite - "You mean to say you still haven't found a man? Goodness what is wrong with you?". Said in a jokey manner & I'm pretty sure they don't mean it to sound quite so offensive, but still...

molit

ha ha, made my day...I had forgotton that one. Oh, the "just be yourself" is the other classic one

A slight aside, a little while ago, i was walking along a street and I overhead two girls talking, unfortuantely i only heard the following snippit - the first one said to the other, "normally i'd advise you to be yourself, but in this case i dot think you should, you need to..." I really wanted to stop and listen to the remaining bit of advice, but didnt dare...

Prize to the person who comes up with what the remaining bit of sentence should have been :-)

JustKeepSwimming_2

findingmyway wrote: »

Scotty I do try and read peoples profiles before judging them, but I suppose I do look at photos first. I feel like my list of requirements gets longer by the day! So maybe you are right, I should just close my account and take a break for a while.

I had a look at Oasis dating, but I wasn't really keen on the setup. I actually think its probably the frustration with life that is getting to me more. I am looking for a job, and feel so fed up with sending off hundreds of applications and getting no response. Im wallowing a bit, which I know is not the right frame of mind to be looking for someone.

I will cancel my account and try focus on other things for the next few months.

Findingmyway - I think I know how you feel & I could have written some of the lines in your posts. I started off thinking online dating would be easier than real-life dating (for me that is).

I'm a single parent to 2 children who aren't yet old enough to be left on their own so I need to try & find a babysitter which isn't easy (no family, friends all coupled up & have busy social lives as they have free babysitters on top, & of course I can never return the favour if they do sit). I don't have a car & rely on public transport - last bus leaves the nearest big town at 2035! A cab costs around £30 (but that was 2 years ago) so if I need a sitter & cab I've already spent close to £50 before I've even got through the front door - hardly MSE!

So in my innocence I thought it would be best to chat to someone online, then maybe on the 'phone for a few times before actually meeting up - bless me :rotfl:. I can hear the laughter from here...

I have had a few coherent chats from what appear to be genuinely nice guys, but they are all over 100 miles from me so unlikely to work out. They've become dating allies, sharing their disasterous stories with me & we have a chuckle together which is great, but...

Then there are the vile messages - I've been called all sorts of things, propositioned, even hounded by 1 guy. I joined through a parenting site, expecting to join a dating site for single parents (yep, the laughter is getting louder now ) but now understand it is all part of a huge database from gazillions of other sites, some quite specialised :eek: Gardenia101 - maybe this explains what happened to your friend?

I'm not sure if there is a right time to start onlind dating though. Scotty I take your point about flicking through profiles, but what has shocked me the most about this is how I'm now responding to messages - initally I replied to everyone who messaged me even if I wasn't interested, thanking them, but now I'm ashamed to say I just think well, you've obviously not read my profile or you wouldn't have messaged me (not that I'm ultra picky - my 2 requests are that you are within 20 miles of me & you don't smoke). I feel I'm getting too cynical too quickly & that doesn't bode well, does it!

Findingmyway - do you think there is ever a time when you feel "sorted" enough to satrt looking though? Sorry, that sounds wrong & I'm not trying to imply you're a mess - just picking up on what you say about being fed up (& I was unemployed for a time so I know how rubbish it can be). I thought I'd wait until I'd found a job, then wait till I'd lost some weight (yeah, right ) - I do worry that if I went out on a date now, the guy would be less disappointed in me if I had a more interesting job/a better figure/a list of fascinating hobbies/wrote bestsellers... but I'm very unlikely to have that life, so I'd better start trying to find someone who is happy to share mine as it is now, not as I sometimes wish it was.

What do you all think?

OptimusNemesis wrote: »

Anyway, you're not alone in feeling like that. I think dating sites can be an interesting way to meet people but are most likely not the answer if you want something meaningful and long lasting.

- G

Nooo - don't say that :rotfl:

Optimus - just read your geeky girl thread & can see how you appeal to us women of a certain age! Can't remember if you said you have a Sceptics in the Pub group nearby or not? I was amazed to find I do have a group so I'm going to a meeting next week which sounds like fun & they assure me there are women who attend.

There is also the guarantee of alcohol if it turns out to not be my thing

Regarding real ale pubs - I think many geeky girls might like them but be put off going in them alone. We may live in age of equality, but I still can't bring myself to go into a pub on my own unless I know I'm meeting someone.

JustKeepSwimming_2

molit wrote: »

ha ha, made my day...I had forgotton that one. Oh, the "just be yourself" is the other classic one

A slight aside, a little while ago, i was walking along a street and I overhead two girls talking, unfortuantely i only heard the following snippit - the first one said to the other, "normally i'd advise you to be yourself, but in this case i dot think you should, you need to..." I really wanted to stop and listen to the remaining bit of advice, but didnt dare...

Prize to the person who comes up with what the remaining bit of sentence should have been :-)

I would have loved to hear the rest of that conversation too...

How old (ish) were they?

0^0

Methinks you lot are too choosy.;)


Shhhhhhhhhhhhh who said that????????????????:eek:

JustKeepSwimming_2

0^0 wrote: »

Methinks you lot are too choosy.;)


Shhhhhhhhhhhhh who said that????????????????:eek:

Too choosy? All I want is a man with a brain, a similar age to me (I'm popular with the over 60's this week) & who doesn't fall silent when I reply to his request to chat.

Obviously far too much to hope for