no food at evening reception?

Idiophreak

ska_lover wrote: »

Because if you truly want to be married, and that is all there is that actually counts, getting wed to the person you want to spend your life with - not some big showy party/getting into debt. You can do it for £50 at a Registry office if you want.

But you've already said this isn't what *you* want.

So you're a show off, right?

Or is it just that getting married isn't all that matters to you?

pelirocco

purple.sarah wrote: »

An evening only invitation doesn't include the ceremony, it's an invitation to the after party rather than to an evening wedding. I thought evening invitations were cheaper because informal food was served, like a buffet or chip butties, rather than the expensive sit down meal sometimes served to the day guests. Some people cannot take the day off work when they are not invited to the whole wedding day so may go straight there after like the OP. I don't think 7.30 is too late to eat. I would expect some food to be served or to be advised in advance so I could make other arrangements.

Sadly it seems the norm ( well around here anyway ) to be charge around £15 a head for the evening buffet .

We went to a wedding earlier in the year where the guests to the main event ate fairly late , and it was made clear they wouldnt be providing food for the evening guests , no one minded as they all understood the bride and groom were on a very tight budget

ska_lover

Wow, I'm quite shocked at peoples responses. I only posted my opinion. A complete strangers opinion on a forum really shouldn't upset you so much...

Some people are just happy to be in love, and do not feel the need to shout about it. That's my only point.

Quite a lot of assumptions, jumping to conclusions, and putting words in my mouth..Now if that is what getting married does to you, turns people into Bridezilla - well I think I have changed my mind, cos attractive - it aint!

White_Sapphire

:rotfl:

Firstly, no-one actually asked for your opinion on how each of us chooses to celebrate our weddings.

Secondly, if you really want to express your opinion, at least do so in such a way that you are not denigrating those who dare to disagree with you. Each couple will get married in the way that suits them. Whether you like it or not is of no consequence.

Thirdly, go back to your troll-cave

kmmr

ska - some people love their family and friends too, and want to share their happiness, not 'shout about' their own relationship. Life is all about people and relationships.

My whole wedding was focussed around making sure everyone had a great time, because they are the ones who make me who I am, and make me finding love possible. It was costly, but it was worth every penny and I just wish we could do it again tomorrow!

(And... well, about making sure I look nice in photos too I suppose!)

ampafc

ska_lover wrote: »

Wow, I'm quite shocked at peoples responses. I only posted my opinion. A complete strangers opinion on a forum really shouldn't upset you so much...

Some people are just happy to be in love, and do not feel the need to shout about it. That's my only point.

Quite a lot of assumptions, jumping to conclusions, and putting words in my mouth..Now if that is what getting married does to you, turns people into Bridezilla - well I think I have changed my mind, cos attractive - it aint!

People should be allowed to spend what they want. I am in love with my partner, and we are having quite an expensive wedding. We want our friends and family to share the joy - in your mind that makes us 'feel the need to shout about it'. How ridiculous.

Bitterness/jealousy really shines through in your posts. In my opinion. Shouldn't upset you much

White_Sapphire

ska lover, apologies for calling you a troll. Please also note that I am not a bridezilla just because I choose to have a wedding and am prepared to stand up for my choices.

I know you're only trying to get a point across, but my issue is with your attitude towards people who choose to have a party to celebrate their wedding. You seem to be saying that anyone who spends more than the minimum for a legal wedding (ie registry office basic) is wasting their money and only doing so to flaunt their money and their relationship.

You said near the beginning of the thread something along the lines of 'each to their own' when it comes to weddings, but your comments since then do not seem to have borne that out. Every time someone mentions spending money, you're very quick to come back with 'but all that matters is that you're married at the end of the day'. Funnily enough, I think you'll find that we are well aware of that, thanks. Your implication is that, because that's all that really matters, anything else is a waste. Well, I for one want my family and friends there; is that a waste? You also imply that we are all getting married for the wrong reasons if we're doing anything beyond the basic; that is insulting, condescending and arrogant in the extreme. You know nothing about any of us and yet you are happy to pass judgement on our relationships, it would seem!

If this seems like an over-reaction to you, try to understand that the culture surrounding weddings is that we somehow are expected to have the perfect wedding yet are made to feel guilty for spending any money on it, a wedding that reflects us and is personal yet follows every tradition so that Grandma doesn't get upset, and a lovely intimate wedding where no-one is excluded. Try as we might to say 'stuff that' and do it our way, it is impossible to avoid all the pressure and expectations surrounding wedding planning. So when someone jumps in basically telling people that they are just wasting money then people will defend themselves. It's called being human; apologies that we're not perfect

ska_lover

White_Sapphire wrote: »

ska lover, apologies for calling you a troll. Please also note that I am not a bridezilla just because I choose to have a wedding and am prepared to stand up for my choices.

I know you're only trying to get a point across, but my issue is with your attitude towards people who choose to have a party to celebrate their wedding. You seem to be saying that anyone who spends more than the minimum for a legal wedding (ie registry office basic) is wasting their money and only doing so to flaunt their money and their relationship.

You said near the beginning of the thread something along the lines of 'each to their own' when it comes to weddings, but your comments since then do not seem to have borne that out. Every time someone mentions spending money, you're very quick to come back with 'but all that matters is that you're married at the end of the day'. Funnily enough, I think you'll find that we are well aware of that, thanks. Your implication is that, because that's all that really matters, anything else is a waste. Well, I for one want my family and friends there; is that a waste? You also imply that we are all getting married for the wrong reasons if we're doing anything beyond the basic; that is insulting, condescending and arrogant in the extreme. You know nothing about any of us and yet you are happy to pass judgement on our relationships, it would seem!

If this seems like an over-reaction to you, try to understand that the culture surrounding weddings is that we somehow are expected to have the perfect wedding yet are made to feel guilty for spending any money on it, a wedding that reflects us and is personal yet follows every tradition so that Grandma doesn't get upset, and a lovely intimate wedding where no-one is excluded. Try as we might to say 'stuff that' and do it our way, it is impossible to avoid all the pressure and expectations surrounding wedding planning. So when someone jumps in basically telling people that they are just wasting money then people will defend themselves. It's called being human; apologies that we're not perfect

Thats Ok, thanks for posting and apologising and I feel I should too, obviously I have caused upset to a few other women here. It is easy for us all to get carried away on here and fingernails come out lol.

I know my opinions can be somewhat controversial at times, and reading back I can see why people are getting a bit edgy.

I certainly don't mean to imply anyone is getting married for the wrong reasons - as you say I know nothing about any of you. I really didn't mean to come across as that kind of person. Maybe its me that is bridezilla! I didn't mean it to be like that, just saying what I would like to do. But way to over the top.

Your last paragraph is quite insightful as to how people are feeling, and has made me realise why feelings are running high on this topic

So sorry once again to all the women I have offended

White_Sapphire

There's a few men on here too...

And I don't 'do' fingernails

:cool: