no food at evening reception?

Torry_Quine

Idiophreak wrote: »

You think?

There are two ways of looking at it:
1) Save up for a sofa. Sit on the floor in the meantime.
2) Get a sofa on credit. Pay back the loan. Sit on a comfy sofa while you're doing it.

Personally, I liked the satisfaction of having a sofa to sit on from day one. I also liked the satisfaction of having my wedding before my elderly relatives have died.

I agree that you always have to be wary of changing circumstances - and I'd not advocate getting into more debt than you can comfortably repay - even allowing for reasonable changes in circumstances.

3) Save up for a sofa while sitting on one from a charity shop.

I can see that you'd want to get married with all your relatives, we felt the same. knowing that I had to pay for it later though would have taken the shine off the day.

LEJC

So back to the basis of the thread...as it does seemed to have twisted and turned in other directions...partly I admit through my own intervention....but is is safe to assume that

a) as the wedding couple...perhaps in recognition of your guests willingness to attend it is nice to offer something by way of food ...be that nibbles through to a full meal

b) as the guest...we should accept whatever offering of food is made to us by the wedding couple in the spirit in which it is offered...and not comment on the price paid be that too much or too little

C) everyone leave happily after the evening and we wish the happy couple a lifetime of happiness...with a level of debt that they/we feel comfortable with...

POPPYOSCAR

Idiophreak wrote: »

I read this a lot...and I just don't understand it...What happens when you're in debt that's so bad? Are you prodded with red hot pokers?

Starting off married life in debt is much the same as starting off married life without debt would be, I imagine - only with less money to spend each month. (although, in reality, plenty of newly married couples would start saving for children / a house / whatever else pretty much straight away anyway...)

My wife and I had a bunch of debt from uni. So we paid that off. Then we had a bunch of debt from buying a house together. So we paid that off. Now we've a bit of debt from the wedding...guess what we're going to do...I don't really feel we're starting off married life in any kind of bad way...

This can put a big strain on a couple as it can spiral out of control.

I know a young person who thought this as well. Told everyone the borrowings were well covered by the wages - until they lost their job and are now officially declared as bankrupt.

Scrapaholic

LEJC wrote: »

...AND ACTUALLY...that bacon or beef roll can cost the bride and groom in the region of £8.95 at a hotel evening do...so whilst you may not think its a lot in terms of food and may feel a little dissapointed by the "spread"...when you x that by at least 100 guests...its probably more than the whole wedding cost in the 60's!

Just in reply. I personally ,did not say in my post I was disappointed over bacon roll ! I wasn't married myself in the 60's . I do realise the cost of weddings these days as have recently paid for daughters and partially, son's wedding . It was only my opinion of what some people may think , not what I think at all.

LEJC

Scrapaholic wrote: »

It was only my opinion of what some people may think , not what I think at all.

scrapaholic...youre more than welcome to express your opinion or that of others...its a forum afterall...but in exprressing those opinions others may also reply to your posts....

xxDextersMummyxx

were having huge buffet in evening, and a seprate kids buffet, why would you not? :-/

PinkPrincess83

In my opinion if you are on a tight budget and cant afford to put any food on in the evening, or because of the way you day is structured you dont want to out food, that is fine and accecptable- But I think you should tell everyone.

I personally eat before I go to a reception as 1)there may not be food and 2) im quite fussy, but I think as the op worked with the bride or groom, the bride or groom should have known their work hours and should have pre warned work friends.

White_Sapphire

xxDextersMummyxx wrote: »

were having huge buffet in evening, and a seprate kids buffet, why would you not? :-/

Because not everyone can afford a huge buffet.

We are timing our wedding so that people have time to eat lunch beforehand, then we will aim for an early evening meal. The evening do will start around 7.30pm, with a finger buffet - this probably won't be enough to fill everyone up, but we will indicate on the evening invites that a 'light buffet' will be served. I'm hoping that this will be enough to warn evening guests to not turn up starving!! Quite frankly, we cannot afford to provide two full meals for 100-odd people. And we're having the sit-down meal because that's what we both want, not because we feel that's what's expected.

I would never expect to be fed at an evening do starting after normal dinnertime, particularly if it's part of a longer occasion when people will have been fed previously. If I were going to a wedding evening do I would find some way to eat beforehand, even if that means eating lots at lunchtime and eating a sandwich on the way, or stopping off at the chippy! I would not assume that I would be getting the equivalent of a full meal, and any food offered would be a bonus. Having said that, it does seem to be the norm to provide something in the evening, even if it's just to soak up the booze!

roses

I opened this thread thinking you were getting married and debating whether to feed your evening guests!

PinkPrincess83

White_Sapphire wrote: »

Because not everyone can afford a huge buffet.

We are timing our wedding so that people have time to eat lunch beforehand, then we will aim for an early evening meal. The evening do will start around 7.30pm, with a finger buffet - this probably won't be enough to fill everyone up, but we will indicate on the evening invites that a 'light buffet' will be served. I'm hoping that this will be enough to warn evening guests to not turn up starving!! Quite frankly, we cannot afford to provide two full meals for 100-odd people. And we're having the sit-down meal because that's what we both want, not because we feel that's what's expected.
!

Thank you for this White Sapphire- I may pinch the 'light buffet' part. We are getting married at 3 and will be providing a cold meat buffet to our day guests (approx 45) at 5.30 ish then we will be having an evening buffet, I imagine 8.30/ 9 where there will be about 110 people but I was hoping to cater for a max of 75 because of budget restrictions, so I may put this in the invites.